The Random Lives Of Empress Maruja

Something Amazing Happened Last January 1

2006-12-26T15:26:00.000+08:00

I moved to a new palace...

Naglipat ako ng palasyo mga teh...

They Call Me Maruja

What? An Earthquake?

2006-10-21T05:19:00.000+08:00

While working in the middle of the night, a slight earthquake shook Metro Manila and rocked our building. Don't worry guys, I'm still alive.

I Love/ Hate Jologs

2006-10-20T13:56:00.000+08:00

LIFE LIFE: I Love to be Jologs

Every once in a while, I make a fool out of myself. I mean, that's not unusual.

One of my kitschiest things I am interested in recently is imitating the EB Babes Dance Number. The EB Babes are the latest members of Eat Bulaga, the Philippines' longest-running variety show (27 years running). They replaced the erstwhile Sexbomb Girls after a series of unfortunate events mostly about infighting among its members.

Anyway, I just love to dance like the EB Babes (well, except the part when they are kneeling on the floor). Just take a look!

Hey! There's nothing wrong with dancing like a girl, is there?

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LIFE LIFE: I Hate the Jologs

Last night, I have concluded that the jologs (lower-class people) would laugh at anything that is unusual to them such as call center agents and the way they layer their clothing, or the sight of pretentious patrons of Starbucks, or the Nokia Nseries phone (which they most likely steal anyway).

I have thought of this because some jologs find my unusual talent funny, and to think I wasn't wearing a chicken costume like those contestants in Pinoy Dream Academy.

I was so pressed for time as our children's show head writer wanted me to e-mail some scripts for our upcoming shoot tomorrow. Since my jurassic PC was whacked eversince I downloaded Mozilla Firefox (lesson: Firefox and Windows 98 don't mix), I was forced to type my script at a local Internet shop.

While in the middle of typing, minding my own business, a group of young male jologs rented a PC beside mine. They were probably looking for javascripts to "decorate" their Friendster profiles. I began noticing the guy beside me began to snigger. I thought because he forgot to sniff some glue.

And then he began motioning his hands on the keyboard and began imitating my fast typing skills. WTF?! I didn't know typing really fast can be funny?

At first I let them be for a few minutes until he began motioning his other friends to look at the way I type at the keyboard. I lashed out.

"Ano'ng nakakatawa?" (What's so funny?)

They shut up, ignoring me as if they didn't listen what I said.

Grrrr! Those j-logs! I hate those uneducated bastards!

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BOW DOWN AND WORSHIP MY FOOTNOTES:

1) I have finally updated my blogroll at the Links section. I purged some of the blogs that I no longer read (and some that are inactive) and added some sites that I currently read. I encourage you to read them as well.

2) Watch this clip I found online. Galing!

Mga Kuwento ni La Maruja

2006-10-19T00:23:00.000+08:00

The Token Tagalog Post now comes in a new name. "Mga Kuwento ni La Maruja" delves into the inner thoughts of Empress Maruja, particularly about being gay in this multi-faceted third world (although claimed by the government as "second-world") country. Read on...

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MGA KUWENTO NI LA MARUJA: Kapag Tumitig ay Malagkit

Sumuko na ako sa katotohanan na kahit kailan hindi ako makakahanap ng relasyon nang basta-basta sa isang pampublikong lugar. Sa dami ba naman ng tao ngayon sa Maynila, sa palagay mo ba may guwapo't matipunong lalakeng makakakita sa akin?

Pero minsan, mapapaisip ka na siguro may mga tao diyan na naghahanap ng maiibig habang abala sa kani-kanilang mga buhay. Na ang mga simpleng gawain gaya ng pamamalengke o paghahatid ng pamangkin sa eskuwela ay nagiging hanapan na rin ng makakapareha.

Gaya ng nangyari noong nakaraang Linggo.

Nakasakay ako sa MRT mula Cubao papuntang Buendia, papasok sa aking panggabing trabaho. Masikip noon at siksikan ang tao. Dahil wala nang upuan, napatayo ako. Habang bumibiyahe, napansin ko na may isang matangkad na lalakeng tila dumidikit sa akin. Okey naman ang hitsura niya. Siguro kapag nakita ko siya sa isang madilim na sinehan sa Quiapo malamang pinatulan ko siya.

Pero siyempre hindi ito Quiapo, at hindi ko na 'yun gawain noh!

Pagdating sa Ortigas Station, nagkaroon ng bakanteng espasyo para makaupo ako. Sa patuloy na pagbiyahe ng MRT, napansin ko na 'yung lalakeng matangkad na katabi ko kanina ay panay ang titig sa akin. Sumusulyap ang kanyang mga mata at paminsan-minsan ay kinakagat pa ang kanyang labi.

Okey na sana siya sa akin, kaya lang parang pakiramdam ko kapag naging kami, ako pa ang magiging lalake sa relasyon. Ako pa naman, pinapanindigan ko talaga na ako dapat ang girl. Aba natural!

So ayun, lumipad na lang ang aking mga mata sa kung saan man kahit na panay pa rin ang malalagkit na titig ng lalake.

Hindi na niya ako sinundan paglabas ko sa Buendia Station. Ang haba naman ng hair ko kung ganoon ang nangyari. Pero in fairness, napagtanto ko na taglay ko pa rin ang aking kakaibang kapangyarihan na nagpapabaliw sa mga lalake.

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MOVIE TRAILER LIFE: The Blossoming of Maximo Oliveros

"The Blossoming of Maximo Oliveros" (Ang Pagdadalaga ni Maximo Oliveros) has been chosen as the Philippine representative for the Best Foreign-Language Film Category of next year's Academy Awards. To refresh your memory, "Maximo" is about a 12-year-old gay boy from a family of petty thieves who fell in love with a policeman. The movie had its second round of screening at major cinemas in Metro Manila, while the DVD is scheduled to be available next year.

For those who have not seen it, do yourself a favor. Here's the trailer and enjoy.

FUN LIFE: Miss Universe 2006, the "Real" Coronation

2006-10-18T09:46:00.000+08:00

I found this somewhere online. This is a funny scenario during the 2006 Miss Universe Coronation. Read what they actually said.

NATALIE GLEBOVA, 2005 Miss Universe: To the rightful queen.

KURARA CHIBANA, Miss Japan: He...he...he...hehehehe!

ZULEYKA RIVERA, 2006 Miss Universe: No!...My precious...

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BOW DOWN AND WORSHIP MY FOOTNOTES:

1) I have been receiving empty comments these past weeks and I have considered them as spam. Guys, if you wanna say something don't be shy. I don't bite.

2) Don't forget to visit Philippine Idol Updates for the latest on anything about the best talent show in the country ever (well, if that is if those "rich" and awful contestants like Jan and Miguel get eliminated).

Project One Post A Day

2006-10-17T03:30:00.000+08:00

To make up for lost time, I have decided to blog one post everyday even while working. Enjoy.

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INTERMISSION NUMBER: Sign Language Lessons

Still Alive

2006-10-15T17:18:00.000+08:00

The rumors are simply untrue...

Empress Maruja was not pinned down by a falling billboard during the raging storm weeks ago.

The reason why I haven't posted for three weeks now is that I have so busy these past few days. My apologies to my dear readers who have been anticipating week after week for a new post, but alas, nothing.

Anyway, enough is enough...

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HOUSE LIFE: In this corner...

I've always insist that I am thinner than I am supposed to be. I wore tight pants to show off my seemingly-slender legs, never mind if some of the pants were popping off the seams. I bought medium-sized shirts because it "fits" me.

Realizing that my opinions about my weight is a bit outdated (even my resume says I'm 130 pounds), I tried weighing in this device that a local pharmacy put up. Not only it measures your height and weight, but also your BMI, your ideal weight, and even your blood pressure. After several minutes, I got the printout and went home.

Once I got home, I left the printout at the kitchen counter and took an afternoon nap.

I got up hours later and as I walked out of my bedroom, I heard my sister saying:

"On the red corner, weighing 182 pounds and 6 ounces..."

Yup, it was a reality check indeed.

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WORK LIFE: Something new

It was only in recent days that I realized that I was a one-empress team in my night shift. There were no other group mate that I could talk to or approach me and ask on work issues. Well, it's a thing of the past.

In just one week, I had three new teammates: a fellow writer, a web designer, and a team leader. Adjusting to the new members of the team was relatively easy for me, as long as they have the initiative to talk to me.

Starting Monday, two new members will be added.

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INTERMISSION NUMBER: Philippine Idol's Drae Ybanez

Would somebody tell me why Drae was the first to be eliminated in Philippine Idol Finals?

Yellow about Changes, Birthday Presents, and that Darn Swimming Pool

2006-09-24T17:38:00.000+08:00

I have been suffering from common cold these past few days. It was only these past few days that I realized how yellow phlegm (especially if you release streams of it through the nose) could smell nasty.

At first, I thought my man-eating days were taking a toll for my health (read: AIDS). Gosh! I hate it when my mind would act like that.

I think I need more love and chicken soup to get well.

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WORK LIFE: Che-che-chaaaaange...

Aaah! Don' t you just love change?

In my outsourcing job, I was assigned to a new workstation since the one I was occupying was actually for supervisors. However, transferring to the new desk wasn't smooth flowing.

On my first night, the bottom of my desk had bottles of mineral water and the PC was very dusty. Being a Virgo that I am, I had to wipe the computer clean with a napkin and threw every thrash there was while waiting for my files to be transferred there. However, it seemed that person who occupies my desk during day shifts was a total pig. The next night, I found potato chips--including the bag--scattered at the floor below my desk. It felt really uncomfortable working, I had to complain to my supervisor because I don't want to act like a janitor a pick them one by one from the darn floor. Grrr...

All while having my PC being removed of all pirated software. You could just imagine how much delay I had before I actually work. Good thing my job doesn't involve selling.

Next month, the company would move office to Ortigas Center, at the building where the film company I applied for is currently housed. Sigh...it's a small world.

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LIFE LIFE: Birthday Sharing

I celebrated my birthday last week, but it was only yesterday when my Mom had my "big" birthday present delivered since I was supposed to share it--again--with my sister who celebrated her birthday two days ago.

It was a birthday party package from Goldilock's composed of chicken barbecue, fresh vegetable rolls, palabok noodles, and a big Red Ribbon cake for me and my sister. The food was so sufficient for us, my sister had to give some of it on her boyfriend's birthday party.

That's economics, we celebrate each other's birthday to save money. Yeah, it was all good.

And I'm still stuffed.

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INTERMISSION NUMBER: Yova the Diva

Kenneth Paul "Yova" Alonzo should have been in the Top 24, even in Top 12. Still, his performance in the "Kakaibang Idol" special was so great, it makes me proud for her.

Mabuhay and kabaklaan!

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THE TOKEN TAGALOG POST: Kasalanan ng Swimming Poo!

Kakapanalo lang ng San Beda Red Lions sa nakaraang Men's Basketball Championship ng NCAA Season 82 at binabati ko sila sa kanilang pag-atim ng tropeo pagkatapos ng 28 years na tagtuyot.

Hindi man ako nag-aral sa San Beda, minsan naisip ko na sana nag-aral ako doon. Anuba? Wala ba ako karapatang mangarap?

Pero seryoso, paminsan-minsan naiisip ko kung ano kaya kung nag-aral ako sa all-boys school na 'yon noong high school? Kaka-graduate ko lang ng elementarya sa paaralang inilagak ko mula kinder at tinanong ako ng mga magulang ko kung gusto ko raw lumipat ng school, at siyempre isa sa options ang pag-aralin ako sa all-boys school. Ang sabi ko huwag na lang.

Bakit? Kasi gusto kong maabutang maitayo ang swimming pool sa aking school.

Malamang kung napadpad ako sa San Beda noong high school ako, malamang reyna ako doon. Ang laman ng pantasya ng bawat binata.

Hoy! Hindi ako basta-bastang hadadera. Girl ito, neh! Actually, daig ko pa ang gerl sa ugali. Daig ko pa noon ang kanilan hinhin at lambot.

At malamang kung nag-high school ako sa San Beda, malamang nakilala ko siya nang mas maaga. Malamang naipakita niya sa akin kung gaano niya ako minahal nang hindi natatakot na baka kastiguhin siya ng lipunan. Malamang naglampungan na kami nang maraming beses at siguradong mas nanaisin niyang ma-dyug ako kesa sa mga kyokpok na nakilala niya.

Punyetang swimming pool kasi.

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INTERMISSION NUMBER: Atlantika Music Video

Atlantika is an upcoming fantasy series on GMA. Here's a music video of the show, which made me curious on watching it. It looked soooo beautiful for a Philippine TV show.

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RANDOM HOT MEN: Cosmopolitan Philippines Bachelor Bash 2006 (Men Galore!)

I'm telling you. This event has never been catered to girls. Cosmo Bachelor Bash is created for the gays' satisfaction.

And instead of hiring elusive celebrities and models who back out on the last minute, Cosmopolitan organized a massive go-see featuring average guys with above-average looks. Doctors, call center agents, grad students, you name it, there are bound to be the hotties and they were all housed in one roof.

Again, all for gays' satisfaction. Enjoy!

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BOW DOWN AND WORSHIP MY FOOTNOTES

1) Maruja Radio is temporarily unavailable, mostly due to my fault. I forgot to log-in to my myfilehut account within 30 days, so...zzzt...all of the files are gone. Will update the radio as soon as possible with new tracks.

2) Check out my newest recommendation. Enter the Laughter is not your ordinary mommy blog. It's a funny way of looking at life.

The Maruja Video Overload

2006-09-17T17:52:00.000+08:00

I hope the one-week delay did not bore you to death.

Because of my uber-busy, work-loaded schedule, I have accepted the fact that I won't be posting as often as I want. That is why I always make sure that every new post I publish is worth visiting and reading.

And you know what's weird? Even though I only have two posts so far for this month, my readership increased significantly. In fact, it doubled. Am I unconsciously doing some Search Engine Optimization in my blog?

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I would like to thank my dear readers for your kind comments about my first ever Tagalog post. Even though it was the cause of my demerit at I Talk Too Much, I think that the entry showed more about me.

That is why I have decided to post at least a Tagalog entry on my posts. Taray, 'di ba?

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THE TOKEN TAGALOG POST: Tagtuyot

Ang sarap makalanghap ng lalake. Kaya naman minsan hindi ko mapigilan ang aking sariling makipagsikiskan sa kasuluk-sulukan ng Maynila para lang makabili--o maka-TY, ganda ko kasi--ng lalake.

Kaya lang, sa sobrang bisi-bisihan ko sa aking mga trabaho, nawala na ang oras ko para sa mga panandaliang sarap. Kung tutuusin, nakakasawa rin naman.

Lagi kong iniisip kung magkakaroon kaya ng lalakeng nakalaan para sa akin. Yun bang mamahalin ako higit sa pagmamahal ko sa sarili. Naku, mukhang malabo 'yun. Feeling ko kasi, hindi naman ako basta-basta makakahanap ng ganoong mhin kung saan lang. Sabi ko nga sa sarili ko, "You can't find love at such a random place."

Hay...sana nga may makilala ako, o baka naman kilala ko na?

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INTERMISSION NUMBER: Let's Cheer to That!

I didn't get to watch this year's UAAP Cheerdance Competition because I attended a family affair last week. I was delighted when I read my sister's text message saying that Salinggawi Dance Troupe of my alma mater University of Santo Tomas won for the fifth time in a row, and eighth time overall! It took me days for me to watch the videos on Youtube and Salinggawi truly deserves the title.

Congratulations to the Great Salinggawi Dance Troupe! You truly are the pride of our school!

Also, congratulations to Far Eastern University Cheering Squad for winning second place. I have always believed that you guys are the true threat of our squad.

Did I miss anybody? I guess not.

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BLOG LIFE: Encantadia Writer to Asiatic Neil: Sue me!

I recently received a comment from one of the writers of Encantadia, a popular fantasy TV series in the Philippines. Apparently, my site was linked to a forum and it discussed about the issue of plagiarism that Asiatic Neil pointed out.

To give you a refresher, I posted an entry about my very short stint as an aspiring film writer, only to be dropped off from the line-up and later learned that one of my concepts became a working project for the film company. Click here to know more about it.

Asiatic Neil posted a comment that he said was a perfect example of what happened to me, and it involved Encantadia.

Anyway, here's what writer Suzette Doctolero had to say about the issue.

"I am the concept developer and headwriter of Encantadia. I have never been to CvSU o kahit sa LaSalle Dasma. Ni hindi rin ako naging judge sa alinmang pakontes nila. Ni wala rin akong nakakausap na student from both school. So is this a joke? Tsismis (Rumors)? Or tall tale lang? Because nakakasira ng reputasyon ito lalo na at pinag-uusapan na ito sa PEX (at sinagot ko na).

My take, fan ng enca ang sinasabi mong friend mo at para magpa-impressed sa iyo, sinabi niyang ninakaw sa kanya ang ideya. At taga abs na pala siya now?

I will not ask you his name, but pls tell him na alam ko na ang akusasyon niya and pls tell him to stop taking credit for something na di niya ginawa or kung ipipilit niya.. magdemanda siya.. and i am more than willing to face him in court.

Masakit manakawan. Pero masakit din na maakusahan. Parehong krimen iyon sa mata nating mga writers.

Also, nalulungkot ako at nakaranas na pala ang blogger ng site na ito na manakawan. I remember one BS ng GMA na galing din sa ABS at sinabing nanakawan din siya ng concept ng movie outfit ng ABS. Baka magkakilala kayo? I wish hindi ka magsawang magsulat."

(I have never been to CvSU or to La Salle Dasmarinas. I was never even became a judge of any of their competitions. And I don't know any student from both schools. Is this a joke? Rumor? Or simply a tall tale? Because this definitely destroy one's reputation especially that it is being discussed in PEX--PinoyExchange.com--which I already answered.

I think that your friend is a fan of Encantadia and in order to impress you, he told you that his idea was stolen from it. And he works in ABS-CBN now?

I will not ask you his name, but please tell him that I am aware of the accusation and stop taking credit from something that he wasn't involved in. If he insists, he could just sue me, and I'd be more than willing to face him in court.

It hurts to have your idea stolen by others, but it equally hurts to be accused wrongfully. These are both crimes among us writers.

And I am deeply hurt to learn that the writer of this blog had his idea stolen. I remember one BS [?} who works in GMA Network who used to work in ABS-CBN. He said his concept was stolen by ABS-CBN's movie outfit. Maybe you know each other? And I hope you won't stop writing.)

Thank you for taking time to comment. It is quite a long time for someone to react over this issue.

Anyway, I hope Asiatic Neil would tell his friend about this. Would you be willing to answer?

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INTERMISSION NUMBER: Philippine Idol Girls

I have always believed that the girl semi-finalists in Philippine Idol are way better than the boys. I was proven right.

Last week, I got lucky to have tickets to watch Philippine Idol live. So, with my sister and her boyfriend in tow, we went to SM Megamall to witness this latest TV phenomenon.

We were in for a treat! These girls are the most talented bunch!

Now, I want my international readers to play a game. There are three videos here, only one of them is in the finals while the other two had to go through a Wildcard Round (the results of which will be announced later).

First up is Pow Chavez, who is openly lesbian. She sings a classic Filipino love song "Ikaw Lamang" (Only You).

Next up is Mau Marcelo who sings "Sweet Love" by Anita Baker.

And finally, my bet Ira Marasigan singing "Mr. Melody."

Now, can you guess who got in? Just leave a comment.

For more Philippine Idol videos, just look at my youtube account "empressmaruja", or to "idolfanatic", "simoncowell26" and "shadowhide" for full episode videos.

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RANDOM HOT MEN: More of Twilight Dancers

The country's censors board (who disguises themselves as a "ratings board") has just given "Twilight Dancers" a rating of Triple-X. I think that's absurd.

Empress Maruja rates Twilight Dancers Triple-A: Absolutely Astonishing and Appetizing!

Feast your eyes on these...

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BOW DOWN AND WORSHIP MY FOOTNOTES

1) Guess what? It's my birthday today! Care for a birthday gift? :)

2) Also, Maruja Recommends is now open! If you want your site to get recommended, just leave a comment here and I'll review each and every site. Thanks!

Happy birthday to me...happy birthday to me...

The Extreme Side of the Empress

2006-09-04T16:23:00.000+08:00

I just read the review of my site over at I Talk Too Much.

Again, don't go "warla" since I volunteered to have my baby smacked. Anyway, I'm lucky that an Asian guy reviewed my site and this is what Charles R. has to say about my one-year-old blog.

Well, it wasn't bad as you might think.

A rating of three (never mind the automatic deduction) is pretty rare in that site. My blog will remain the same...true to itself, sometimes well thought-off, and long posts.

Because, as you know, I like mine long.

If you have been loyally following my site, you probably memorized by now that I have two jobs: a nightly outsourcing job that I got in recently (I'm pretty sure Americans are beginning to itch on lynching me for taking their jobs); and my writing job at a children's show that I take at least thrice a week.

Boy, working in two different industries created some kind of extremes on me.

Read on...

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WORK LIFE: MINORITY REPORT

My nightly outsourcing job is about a month old and it feels so tiresome. No, it's not that I don't like the job at all (I mean, why would I complain about a job that pays me a hefty sum?). It's just that, after 3 weeks, I have yet to make friends in the workplace.

My persona in the nightly workplace is a shy, timid writer who sits by the corner of the room typing endlessly on the computer.

But why am I afraid to make friends? Am I not supposed to be the cheerful, humorous, out-of-this-world fag hag? Answer is, the environment in the workplace is prtty much unfamiliar to me up to now. For one, most of the workers are men. Straight men. I am supposed to deal with straight men with a little coy and a little brushing the hair to show my ears, but hey, you are not supposed to flirt with your co-workers.

Especially if you are the only one of two gays in the workplace.

Result is that the Empress is so socially miserable at nighttime. He takes his meals alone, types on the computer with his headphones on while listening to dance music through YM (wishing that his Saturday nights are that upbeat), conferring to his supervisor on some work-related issues.

I know, I know I'm supposed to be the one to break the ice in times like this, but what am I supposed to talke to them? That I don't smoke (which would probably turn off most of the workmates)? That I religiously watch Philippine Idol (which I am not ashamed of, thank you very much)? That I like boys?

Sigh...I think it would probably take long before I have any form of social life on that company.

But the workplace has its quirks, since most of the employes are men. One time the place was totally quiet, then all of a sudden a group of guys protested, "Bryan farted! Bryan farted!"

Another officemate would play one song ("Binibining Sexy") over and over on his PC speakers until we all would laugh at first and eventually all of our ears would bleed.

So, yeah, it's pretty much fun. I just don't know how to be in that kind of fun.

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WORK LIFE: SURVIVOR FOR KIDS

The children's show that I work on has, again, undergone shuffling of its hosts. This would have been the fourth time our executive producer did so, more than Destiny's Child eliminated and added and eliminated its members.

Unlike the previous switcheroos that had got to do with overaged hosts and weak hosting, our EP decided to drop two of our show's five hosts because a potential sponsor says so.

And you know what's major? One of the eliminated hosts is a niece of her friend. Let's call the kid Bianca.

I can't blame our EP for such a move. The show needs to survive, and in the process our children's show become some sort of Survivor, wherein almost no one is immuned for elimination.

The elimination happened right smack at the show's second year anniversary. The team set up a party for the hosts and some of the viewers (and I didn't know that there ARE people watching our show). It was filled with great catered food and some sponsored food from Gardenia Bread and McDonald's.

Telling them about the bad news while celebrating is not a good thing, but what can I do? I'm not running the show alone.

Anyway, days later some of my TV colleagues discussed, among other things, the stolen McDonald's hamburgers during the party. A whole box of burgers went kaput...gone; that along with toy giveaways from McDo and other food items. We were so frustrated since the fast food is supposed to be for the production team who didn't each much since we are organizing the party and there was an extreme shortage of toys that were supposed to be given away to the kids present at the celebration.

One of my workmates said that it was Bianca's mother who was spotted hoarding the toys and foodstuff into their vehicle while we were partying.

Hearing that, I exclaimed: "Is eliminating Bianca from the show a karma for hoarding all the food?"

We all giggled.

I do admit that I was sad that Bianca had to go, really. I think she was the most improved among the hosts. But the one thing I didn't like about her is not exactly her per se.

Every shoot, she brings her whole family in. As in always. The first time I got into the show, and that was on a field location, Bianca brought her mother, father, little brother, even her aunt and her two crying children. At first I thought all they wanted was an all-expense paid vacation, and I can't complain since Bianca is supposed to be "untouchable", her being a niece of the EP's good friend.

Since then, it has become a norm for our shoot, despite our efforts to enforce a "one child, one parent" policy. Bianca's mother would always say that the little brother would cry and whine when his sister is away for the shoot, that's why they always have to bring him in (including the father).

Since Bianca's family clearly violated the rule, I couldn't blame other hosts whenever they bring their siblings and other relatives in the shoot.

Oh well, at least it's all over. The tribe has spoken.

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TV LIFE: THE BEST AND THE WORST

Watching the Top 12 Men's performance of Philippine Idol is a great experience, although how I wished King Daddy managed to get some passes for us to watch in live.

Anyway, the Top 4 Men in the voting poll would automatically get in the Top 12 Finalists. I am so glad that one of my male bets, Paul Andrae Ybanez, got in. I think he was the best performer that night.

But then again, I thought Philippine Idol had it version of Vote for the Worst, since the obviously-worst candidates got in the Finals. I was flaming mad when I heard about it. Grrr...I guess their respective social networks won.

Here's proof.

I understood why Reymond Sajor got in: sympathy votes.

Still, I prefer watching Philippine Idol rather than Pinoy Dream Academy (the local version of the defunct The One). My sister flipped the channel and all we saw is a concert about cats, dogs, chickens, and monkeys.

I'm not kidding. All of the contestants were dressed in animal costumes and sang songs about cats, dogs, chickens, and monkeys. How degrading.

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RANDOM HOT MEN: ALVIN ALFONSO

Everytime I see him on TV, model Alvin Alfonso always have that humorous aura around him. I ever I would give him my patented blowjob, he would probably be laughing (in a good way).

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BOW DOWN AND WORSHIP MY FOOTNOTES

1) Man! The power went off while I'm finishing my blog. Now I have to rush this and buy quickie dinner for my siblings to feast on. And eventually, I'd be late for my night shift. Grrr...

2) Congratulations to my dear friend JV Almazan for winning in this year's Carlos Palanca Awards, which is the Philippine version of the literary Pulitzer Prize. His one-act play in Filipino won second prize! Also, my Filipino professor back in college (Mr. Eros Atalia) won first prize in his entry for Filipino short story! Wow! Now I feel frustrated for not joining this year. I'd better be sure to join next time, and nail it!

3) Don't forget to visit Philippine Idol Updates, your source for everything Philippine Idol. Shameless plug...hihi!

4) My sincere condolences to my TV workmate Arniel (our head writer). His father passed away this morning. Let's pause a while and pray for his repose.

Random Lives of Empress Maruja Turns One!

2006-08-27T15:33:00.000+08:00

This may be a little bit delayed as promised (yeah, I always tend to get late on my promises), but today I'm celebrating.

Today (well, make that 5 days delayed from today) is Random Lives of Empress Maruja's first birthday!!!

Yehey!

Hapi hapi hapi bertday!
Sa 'yo ang lalake!
Aketch ang dadale!

Kidding, but seriously, it would be great if you are going to give my site a gift (wishing!).

Since it's my blog's birthday, and also in celebration of the National Language Month, the proceeding post will be written in Filipino. (Okay, make that a part of the post just in case I Talk Too Much reads it for a re-review, which I volunteered by the way so don't go "warla" if I get a negative smack.)

O, sige na, blow na ako...ng kendel siyempre. Hihi!

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BUHAY BUHAY: Eh Kung Tamaan Ako ng Kidlat?

Dahil nga bago ang aking cellphone, mega-announce ko sa mga friends ko ang bagong number. Lahat na yata ginamit ko: YM, Friendster, e-mail. Lahat na may address book or some kind of a contact para naman maibalik ko ang sarili ko sa sibilisasyon matapos ang dalawang linggong walang phone. Punyetang snatcher iyan kasi eh...

Isa sa mga unang nag-text sa akin ay ang aking matalik na kaibigan na si "Stephen." Nag-iimbita siya kasama ng mga friends ko na magkita-kita naman, kasi nga sobrang busy ang drama naming lahat. Ang plano, nood kami ng kanyang DVD collection ng mga pelikulang galing Thailand at Cambodia (O di ba? Saan ka lulugar?) at maglaro ng Cluedo buong magdamag. Pamorningan na wholesome kumbaga.

Ako sa sarili ko gusto ko siyang makita. Aba, ilang taon kaya kaming hindi nagkita niyan? Dalawa? Tatlo? Hindi ko na matandaan. Kaya lang, may pagkaalinlangan ako.

Kasi yung Stephen na nakilala ko ay nagbago ng anyo. Hindi, hindi naman siya naging halimaw.

Noong college kami, super buddy ko siya. Yup, bakla rin siya gaya ko. Pareho kami ng hilig: sine, TV, sining ng kung ano mang chuva. Kaya lang, mayroon kaming pagkakaiba. Kung ako alam na ng aking mga parents na bayot, si Stephen...ang alam ng parents niya na isa siyang "malamya."

Kumbaga, hindi pa siya out.

Hindi tulad ko na kahit papaano ay lumandi, si Stephen ay isang birhen. Never been kissed, never been touched, at never pang humada ang drama. Hanggang gumaraduate na kaming lahat-lahat, Mama Mary pa rin ang lola mo.

Sa trabaho niya sa advertising nakilala ang lalakeng kanyang minahal at nagmahal sa kanya. Kaya naman nang malaman ito ng kanyang pamilya, aba, daig pa ang dialogue sa mga teleserye ng Channel 2 ang reaction nila.

"Hindi ko na kilala ang taong nasa harap ko."

"Sige, sabihin mo sa akin! Ano pang mga lihim ang kailangan mo mabunyag?"

In short, hindi tanggap ng family na bayot siya. Magmula noon, bawal siya tawagan ng mga friends niya. Bad influence daw kami.

Makalipas ang ilang taon, nagplano kami ng surprise party para sa kanya. By that time alam na naming nagkakaroon na ng pagbabago sa kanya. Isa ako sa "advance party" na pupunta sa kanyang prayer meeting habang hinihintay namin ang mga kasamahan naming magdadala ng cake.

Nagkita na kami before dahil inimbita niya kaming manood ng Passion of the Christ with matching Bible reading at analysis, pero noong birthday niya, doon ko na lang napagtanto na may isang malaki at malawak na puwersang umiimpluwensiya sa kanya.

Ang puwersa ni Hesu Kristo.

Tine-train na pala si Stephen na maging worship leader. Yes, heto ang lola niyo, nakisali sa kanilang pagtitipon. Ako pa naman, ayokong magsimba kasi nabubuwisit ako sa mga paring mapanghusga, at heto ako nakiki-power-power, umiiyak, nagsisisi sa kanyang hada noong nakaraang Sabado.

Iniwaksi ni Stephen ang kanyang pagkababae para sa Diyos, at ngayon kapag nakita niyo ang kanyang Friendster account, aba, lalake na nga siya...

Yun ang dahilan kung bakit ako nanlamig sa kanya, kasi hindi ko na siya makausap nang matino. Parang lumalabas na ako pa ang dahilan kung bakit lumala ang kanyang "sakit," at dapat din akong pagalingin para mahalin ng Diyos. Ano ba 'yon? Mahal ko ang Diyos pero naniniwala akong hindi ko kailangang magpakalalake't pumompyang ng gerl para lang mahalin Niya ako, noh! Mapagmahal ang aking Diyos at tanggap kung sino ako: makasalanang nagsisisi paminsan-minsan, nagpapasalamat sa Kanyang walang-sawang pagpapatnubay at pag-aalaga sa akin at sa aking pamilya, binubuhusan ng Kanyang mga biyaya.

Pero siyempre, kahit na magkaiba na nga ang aming mundong ginagalawan (siya sa langit at ako naman papuntang...langit na rin), hindi ko maitatanggi na kaibigan ko siya. Napakalalim na ng aming pinagsamahan para lang maaksaya dahil lang naging mongha siya.

Tamaan man ako ng kidlat.

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MOTIF: Ice...Ice...Baby! (One Night in Sn-Tsn Part 2)

We entered a local restaurant in Shenzhen, China, to get our stomachs filled for the night. My dad asked the waitress for a menu and we his children reminded him what our tour guide Helen said: most Chinese don't speak English at all.

Since dad did not enrol me at a Chinese school back in my teen years, we settled for sign language to get our message across. Good thing the menu has English translation to it, so ordering for food isn't that difficult. Dad ordered chicken wings and a bottle of San Miguel Beer (which is pretty expensive at 18 yuan a pop; oh well, in China our local beer is considered "imported"). My siblings ordered banana splits while I, being an eccentric being that I am, chose their in-house specialty, a "papaya boat."

It's basically a cocktail of locally-grown fruit such as lychee and pear served on a papaya half. I really really needed some dose of fiber. This trip has gotten me constipated for two straight days and I really really need to let all my frustrations out.

King Daddy wanted ice on his mug, so he instructed the waitress "ice." Again, we reminded him of the language barrier, so he tried shaking his cupped hand on the mug in hopes that the waitress got the message. Minutes later, the waitress carried a bowlful of ice cubes to our table. Hey, that wasn't bad.

My dad thanked her with a thumbs up sign, but it seemed the watiress was more than happy on what she served. She started to shout, "Ice! Ice!" to her fellow wait staff, proudly bannering her new grasp of the English vocabulary.

We ended our meal with much gusto, and as a waiter cleared the table, Dad left a 5 yuan tip that the waiter picked up and tried to return. Dad mentioned to accept it, and we could see the paper bill slowly disappearing as he crumpled it and placed in his pocket.

Too bad Dad didn't give a tip to the waitress for learning a new word.

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COMMERCIAL BREAK: Philippine Idol Theater Eliminations

Tonight, we will get to see the Top 24 of the first season of Philippine Idol. But first, watch this great teaser of the episode. I've watched a couple of times and it still give me the shiver (the good kind).

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RANDOM HOT MEN: Alfred Vargas for X-Ray Magazine

More of Alfred Vargas in almost perfect form as captured by the artistic lenses of X-Ray Magazine. Ooooh...

I hope children are not reading this.

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BOW DOWN AND WORSHIP MY FOOTNOTES:

1) Empress Maruja has a new site to recommend. Las Tres Estrellas is a collaboration of three luscious and beautiful bloggers all with biting wit and humor as they illustrate the greatness in being gay. I was laughing my ass of while reading the post about what Miss Universe 1994 candidates would say about each other today. Check out the Recommendations section and click on the icon.

2) Starting Monday, Empress Maruja subscribes to The Philippine Star as protest against the "anti-gay" stance of my favorite paper Philippine Daily Inquirer. I don't agree on that "Our writers' opinion do not reflect the sentiments of our publishers" crap. I don't publish any pro-government article in PDI, so why print out a column that spreads hate and bigorty? Anyway, a representative of PDI e-mailed me and he said they would investigate what happened. Too late.

3) Mr. Isagani Cruz, the author of that anti-LGBT column, deserves to go to hell after his remaining days on Earth. I am very sure that one of his "macho" sons is cruising around the brokeback cinemas of Quiapo when he's not looking.

4) Sigh...enough of the hate. If you want to know more about me, don't hesitate to ask. E-mail me at empressmaruja@gmail.com, and I'll answer your questions as soon as possible.

5) While watching television, my sister and I learned that Kama Sutra teaches ways of the bedroom to make your child a boy or a girl. If the woman wants a son, she should eat a lot of fruits and vegetables; if she wants a girl, the mother should eat bread and grains. My sister joked that our mother probably chose to eat both before I was born. Sister gave footnote with some archive story that Mom thought I was a girl when I was inside her, that she bought some pink clothes and planned on naming me Katrina. Oh well, at least Mom got the best of both worlds. Besides, if I become a girl, I would probably be pregnant by 13. Uh-oh...

Happy birthday, my dearie blog!

Longer, Thicker, Easier to Swallow

2006-08-21T15:41:00.000+08:00

I've had enough!

Enough of the short and boring posts!

From this day forward, The Random Lives of Empress Maruja is now LONGER, THICKER, yet EASIER TO SWALLOW.

Geez! That's like every gay man's fantasy! haha!

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LIFE LIFE: Texting is a my new exercise

I am very much ashamed to tell you that my phone was slashed from my bag two weeks ago. (NOTE TO SELF: Never carry a leather bag, especially if you're in Quiapo.) How did I lost it? Honestly, I forgot what white lie I told my Dad and sister. They were like, "So what else is new?"

In what seemed like God's punishment, I lived two weeks without even having a cell phone with me. I was completely isolated from my friends and contacts. Boy, it felt like some form of withdrawal syndrome. I was planning to set an alarm for a wake-up call and then I remembered that I used my cell phone as my handy alarm clock.

And what seemed as an insult to injury, my Dad would remind me without fail to text him once I'm back from my work. My response would always be, "Dad, as if I can text you."

Anyway, I got my new phone last Saturday. My TV show colleague sold it to me. It's an old Nokia 8310, that only runs on Smart, complete with a Sun Cellular SIM.

In order to get started on my new phone, I joined my sister in buying a new SIM card and accessories for my not-so-new phone. I replaced the gray casing to a stylish glaze black cover and chose a catchy, easy-to-memorize phone number.

However, here's the catch: the keypad in my new cover did not my major problem in my new phone. The keys are so tough to type. Texting "D2 n me, wer n u?" (Me here, where you?) sheds 100 calories off my fingers.

Another hassle is that the phone does not sound at all when it receives text messages, despite how many times I adjusted and re-adjusted the settings. I would be away for a while and when I checked it out again, lo and behold, a new message. Magic!

Oh well, my sis told me not to worry. With my new job, I would probably buy a new phone in no time. She reminded me to make sure not to lose it again.

(The Empress can now be contacted through +639206423332.)

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OPINIONATED LIFE: A Voice Among the Silent

"The badings and the tibos will save our country." -- a commentor at bryanboy.com

My favorite newspaper, the Philippine Daily Inquirer, published an opinion column by a former Philippine Supreme Court justice about his dread towards the world's gaydom.

In his article "Don we now our gay apparel," Mr. Isagani Cruz displayed his fears that the Philippine population be flooded by a bunch of pansies (I'm paraphrasing his use of words here). That today's gays, influenced by the like of "Brokeback Mountain," "Queer Eye for the Straight Guy," and "The Blossoming of Maximo Oliveros" (in contrast to his "macho" sons), are a compromise between the strong and the weak. He further asked his readers whether they should let the country be "converted into a nation of sexless persons without the virility of males and the grace of females but only an insipid mix of these diluted virtues."

His stirring words of hatred and condemnation towards gays and lesbians are limited, or so he claimed. He wrote that his observations do not include those "who have conducted themselves decorously."

Reading his column, I was silent. I personally didn't know what to react. Is he only expressing his right of free speech? Should I just brush off the opinion of an 80-year-old man who reminisced the times when gays were mauled? For once, I didn't have the answers. But if I say something, would he listen?

But the gays gods have an answer, indeed.

Two days after Cruz's column was published, a political analyst from the same newspaper gave a voice for among the silent. A grandson of a former president, Manuel Quezon III came out of the closet and announced his condemnation against Cruz's display of primitive hate through his article "The Grand Inquisitor." According to Quezon, "Cruz demands the elimination of a diverse and rich culture--one that is as much a mirror of society's larger complexities as it is an alternative to some of the worst instincts and features of the broader culture for which he has stepped forward as spokesman--because the minority displeases and disgusts him."

Then came the grand exit from his cobby wardrobe: "I find that disgusting. I find it neither reasonable nor acceptable. I do not even find it understandable. Cruz does not understand us, does not want to, would be unwilling to. Yet he says he hates only some, not all, of us, and expects "some of us" to embrace and thank him?"

And finally: "I will respect anyone's convictions, but only to the extent you will respect mine. Goodwill inspires the same; tolerance results in cooperation. But I will not be told whom to love, whom to be friends with, what culture to represent, what mannerisms and interests to adopt and, much less, discard. I will not modify my behavior or limit my pleasures merely to please Cruz or bigots like him. The respect gays, lesbians and transgendered people experience is a brittle kind, but hard-won."

He sacrificed his credibility as one of the most-sought-after political analyst and writer just to defend all those who have no voices to speak. Those who are afraid that they themselves become scorned and persecuted. Gosh, I'm crying now...

Can I take a hanky break?...

After reading that article, I so wanted to reach out and hug Mr. Quezon. He truly stood up for the little ones.

Now it's time to do my part. I wrote directly to Inquirer that because they let a primitive and hateful message be published, I cancelled my subscription to their newspaper (as much as it hurts me). It's the least that I can do, and so will you.

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INTERMISSION NUMBER: The Great Gender Benders

Since we are on the subject of gender bending, here are some great clips that I wanted to share with you.

First is from a Japanese children's show. Again, it's from a children's show. How I wish our local TV be this quirky.

(applause)

Second is a clip from Philippine Idol auditions. Take note of the last person to audition, the one with killer heels and flawless legs who goes by the name Kenneth Paul. Enjoy!

(applause)

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RANDOM HOT MEN: Twilight Dancers

You know you missed worshipping at hot men as much as I do. Now we don't have one, not even two, but five men to ogle.

These are the actors who will appear at an upcoming film "Twilight Dancers." My crush back in StarStruck's Batch 1, Tyron Perez (below, right), lead the roster of hot actors. This is taken from an exclusive X-Ray Magazine cover. Now I have every reason to buy this issue. Start salivating!

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BOW DOWN AND WORSHIP MY FOOTNOTES:

1) Just in case you haven't read it yet, my new phone number is +639206423332. I'll be personally message you guys through other online means. But in the meantime, since my online time is kindofa running out, I'll be doing so the coming days.

2) The Recommendation is still open. If you want your site to be featured in "Maruja Recommends," just leave a comment in the chatbox or comments section. Anyone who leaves his or her site's URl are eligible for the promo. Deadline will be Wednesday 5 a.m.

Work Life: Empress Maruja, Live from the Work Station

2006-08-15T05:41:00.000+08:00

You just can't stop a blogger from blogging, even if it means writing your post at an ungodly hour of 5:44 a.m.

But here I am, typing my way after competely all of my duties for this shift (I always mix it up on whether to call it "a day" or "a night").

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The children's show I am working for, well, it got some good sprucing. For one, our producer bought new HD cameras (which means these babies can be compatible with those neat HDTVs). Second, the hosts themselves became more professional in memorizing their scripts and at work as well. I thought that was a miracle in itself. Back then, we had difficulty on even making them behave.

However, as expected, I was down and out when I arrived at the studio. As you know by now, the end of my Friday outsourcing is the beginning of my Saturday shooting. After typing the script I was assigned at, I immediately slumbered by the sofa. The hosts and other staff thought I was lounging. Well, they didn't know I worked the night before (at least not yet).

I have to get used to this.

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As for my nightly work, it's pretty fine so far. I only have one complaint: I wish my work station does not have a trash bin on either side of my desk.

(I checked it again and the trash at my desk's right side was gone. But still, I tend to get distracted everytime someone throws trash on the bin...just like what happened now.)

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Major apologies for those who tried to access my Maruja Radio, but failed. I opened my site on Firefox and for some stroke of magic the codes in my mp3 player suddenly became Firefox-compatible. I recommend you access Maruja Radio using Firefox for now. I mean, the playlist is a perfect mix of the sounds of Manila from morning till the next morning, ideal for letting minutes pass by as you type endlessly on your work station.

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I desperately need to go clubbing somewhere. My blog became parallel to my "home-work-home" routine that has been happening recently. Darn it.

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This may be stupid...but belated Happy Birthday to you...

House Life: Sad Sad News

2006-08-14T01:05:00.000+08:00

This is my second re-post for this article. I think Blogger hates people who uses dial-up connection. Just kidding...

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Dad came home very distressed a while ago. He was shocked to learn of a very sad news that three of his colleagues in the TV network died this afternoon at a freak accident. A reporter, her cameraman, and her driver, were on their way to Manila after covering the impending eruption of Mayon Volcano. Then all of a sudden, one of the van's tires exploded and the vehicle skidded out of control until it was rammed to an incoming bus. I watched the footage from another channel and it showed that the van was so completely blown to pieces, only its chassis was spared. Read more about the news here.

Dad wanted us to prepare dinner. While the rest of the imperial family were watching TV, we could hear him punching the table.

I personally was very saddened by this turn of events. No matter how I wanted to live my life to the fullest, news like these make me paranoid about how short life can be. I request my loyal readers to pray with me for the repose of their souls.

TV Life: I Heart Philippine Idol!

2006-08-06T15:31:00.000+08:00

The premiere episode of Philippine Idol definitely met my expectations and I will definitely watch it again! To my friends overseas, you can catch the full episode on youtube. In the meantime, I'll share to you two great auditions. Enjoy!

Work Life: Maruja, Ang Blogger Na Walang Pahinga

2006-08-05T15:25:00.000+08:00

Starting Monday, I will be working two jobs.

I accepted a job offer as a website content writer for a certain outsourcing company. Catch is, my work sched is Mondays to Fridays from 9 p.m. to 6 a.m. Well, at least they do not force me to quit my TV job.

My only worry is that come Saturday, I would be so exhausted from my Friday shift that I mihgt not be able to do well in my weekly TV shoots. I joked my production manager to wake me up at the office the next time they need me at the shoot.

Again, thank you for your prayers. Wish me luck!

TV Life: Philippine Idol Na!

2006-07-30T15:19:00.000+08:00

Tonight is the premiere of Philippine Idol and I am so excited to watch it. Drop by Philippine Idol Updates or Idol On ABC fansites to get the latest news about this TV phenomenon.

Anyway, ABC-5 has been showing previews of Philippine Idol featuring...

THE GOOD

THE BAD

AND THE DOWNRIGHT AWFUL.

Now I have to buy shawarmas and rush home.

MOTIF: A Night In Sn-Tsn

2006-07-29T19:13:00.000+08:00

I miss this, and I know you miss this. The Misadventures Of The Imperial Family returns with all the crazy travels, this time embarking on a tour in Mainland China...

Riding in a public bus on our way to Mainland China, our Hong Kong tour guide Eric made some final reminders about Shenzhen before we part ways.

* Beware of pickpockets.
* Never EVER buy jewelry in China. It's fake.
* It's better to buy tea, but DON'T BUY JEWELRY. It's fake. No guarantee.

After three hours, we arrived at the border. Eric assisted us all througout the immigration process. When it was my turn to have my passport verified, the duty officer seemed to have a hard time with me. He told me to remove my glasses, since I wasn't wearing any in my passport photo. He requested to add my middle name in the form. And he kept on flipping over the passport like he is dealing a poker deck.

What am I? A terrorist threat?

Our new tour guide met us after all 24 of us got verified. She took us on a bus leading to our hotel. The tour guide introduced herself by her English name: Helen. Some members of the tour groups asked for her Chinese name, but we didn't understand what she said. It's too fast to comprehend.

Helen welcomed us to Shenzhen City (pronounced Sn-Tsn), a booming metropolis of 25 million people where Hongkies go out for a weekend of cheap, I mean, inexpensive rendezvous.

We were billeted to "G" Hotel (I'll let you find that out for yourself). It's a two-star hotel disguised as a three-star hotel. I'm telling you now, our room was so cramped, it was so dark, sleeping was like camping on the sidewalk, and please don't make me describe the bathroom.

Again, my sister Princess Six and I stayed together in one hotel room while King Daddy and Prince Eleven took another room. After unloading all our things, my Dad decided to have dinner.

And what are you supposed to do in a city that you have no idea where to go? Follow every Filipino trait: just walk around without asking for directions, relying on your innate sense of navigation. We did just that.

Passing by a few blocks from the hotel, the Imperial Family realized the places to go in Shenzhen. You can go for a full hour of soothing massage for only 78 yuan (really really cheap, I mean inexpensive), but Dad was short on money. Besides, having a massage was not part of our plan. Shenzhen also have trendy clubs, but don't expect the clubbers to look like the ones on the cover of every Hed Kandi CD. Since I went to China with my family, I don't have the liberty to enter one.

The Imperial Family stopped by a seemingly trendy restaurant (it has impressive interiors) and decided to dine out in there.

(to be continued...)

Life Life: The Agony...THE AGONY!

2006-07-29T17:56:00.000+08:00

Why do I have the pleasure of torturing myself?

I discovered that one of the blogs I linked with has a particular song in his MP3 player, and I was so squeamish but at the same time excited to press the PLAY button and listen to that old...old...love song.

The song is Kenny Rankin's "Hiding Inside Myself," about a love that is never express, and at the same time often joked as a gay anthem. Yes, my dearies, that song had some sort of a significance in my life, back when I was an innocent and naive peasant (meaning, back in college).

I don't want to drown you with the details. Let's just say someone sang that to me, and being coy about everything, I only thought it was just that...a song. It was only too recent too late for me to realize its true meaning.

Hearing the intro all over again was a mix of joy and agony. I was smiling yet shedding tears. Basilio? Crispin? Just kidding.

Each part of the lyric speared right through me, but the only part I was anticipating was at the end of the song. I never heard the song until its end before. Did Kenny Rankin whisper something?

The answer appeared in a very faint voice

"I love you."

He did.

Special Feature: Paris Hilton's Baby Shower

2006-07-27T19:19:00.000+08:00

I can't believe I spent five minutes watching this, and you should, too! Paris Hilton throws out a baby shower to her celebrity friends, but who among them is pregnant?

Work Life: Back To Busy-ness

2006-07-22T19:27:00.000+08:00

Just wrapped up our shoot for the children's show that was put on hold for almost a month. It just feels so good to work again.

I think I am fated to become a freelancer, which is a good thing if you work in TV.

Meanwhile, I have a hard time dealing with the new director I am working with. He tends to call for a meeting on the day itself, and when I arrive at the venue where we are supposed to meet, I have to wait for three hours after texting him that I am at the location (my colleague jokes that it is his signal to take a bath).

Anyway, the upcoming projects seem to be going to the right direction. Hopefully I would be part of it.

Thanks for your fervent prayers for the success of your Imperial Highness.

House Life: The Wonders Of Adolescence

2006-07-17T15:11:00.000+08:00

At 15, my younger brother is at the peak of puberty and he has been eliciting weird behavior in the past few days. For one, he now always race towards the phone whenever it rings, compare that to a month ago where his ass would have been too heavy to move a muscle.

His mobile phone has been blaring beer jingles everytime he has a message alert, in which he has mastered the skill of texting message on his cellphone while dabbling buttons of his PS2 controller.
After days of being clueless, my sister tells me of a vital classified information.

"Do you think our little brother has a girlfriend?"

I have no idea that he is starting to explore the wonders of adolescence, and my sister have proof:

EXHIBIT A:
She received a phone call from a girl looking for our brother. When she called our brother he suddenly got up from his bed and grabbed the phone in an instant.

EXHIBIT B
He changed his mobile phone service from Smart to Globe. He said he wanted to text his friends cheaply since they are all, including his "girlfriend," using Globe Pre-paid.

And EXHIBIT C
When my sister once teased our little brother that he has girlfriend, he became defensive. "Stop it," he would yell at her.

After concluding that our brother "could probably" have a girlfriend, that only means one thing: I am the only one in the brood of four who is currently unattached.

Gasp! I'm an endangered specie!

Kidding aside, my sister and I become obeservant of our brother's behavior behind his back. I would liketo regard it as contingency procedure just in case something goes wrong.

One morning, our brother goes out for a weekend with friends. He returned early in the evening and we ask him what takes him so long. He says that he spends the day in his friends house watching DVDs.

My sister suspects that he probably goes out on a date with his girlfriend. They watch movies and probably dine out at a fastfood restaurant.

I suspect that he and his friends watch porn.

Life Life: Que Horror-scope

2006-07-15T16:55:00.001+08:00

Monday may seem to be one of those days when things don't go quite right, Your Imperial Highness. If you can get out of the rut of your usual expectations, you may find that doors open in unexpected places and that you may get results where you had not expected any.

I woke up on a text message alert sent by the production manager of my supposed upcoming project with a director/ producer whom I supposed to present with network executives on Monday.

The director suffered a mild stroke. The meeting was suspended.

I called him up on his hospital room and he said he got a bit doozy but he was okay. He even epoligized for not being able to continue with the meeting, but I told him that it's okay.

I mean, I can't blame him. I can't even blame God for that.

So given the situation, that only meant one thing: another round of online job hunting.

There is also a Full Moon on Monday in Capricorn which is your love and romance zone. Full Moons can highlight feelings that you never thought you had - and can be either positive or negative. The temptation may be to thrash around in a well of emotion, and make a mess of things because you may not know what else to do with it. But don't be tempted to make decisions on the spur of the moment as you might not be in the right frame of mind. After a few days you may regret something you did or said at this time.

For some weird reason, I begin to reminisce on my past love that was lost and (what I thought) forgotten. I thought of the same thoughts, of how he is now, and whether or not he misses me.

Unlike before, I no longer cry at the memory of him. My eyes seemed tired of crying, but my heart was still heavy, needing to breathe deeply every now and then.

But now there seems a silver lining. I am beginning to harbor romantic feelings over a guy who is so distant from me. That's the problem though. You see, I used to hear this from the man of my past: Friends can be lovers, but lovers cannot be friends.

I'm afraid that the bond I am beginning to forge with this newly-found friend would be gone before I know it. I am supposed to learn from my mistakes and I will not gonna fail with my new guy this time.

If we are meant to be, God will find a way. But in the meantime, I would remain happy that we are friends. Just friends.

Friday may be equally intense as Mars trines Pluto which could bring home and family issues back into the limelight. Listen out for some positive intuition or guidance on any matter that is bothering you - you may be blessed with a fresh perspective that in itself proves very healing.

I now spend the time guarding house while the rest of the imperial family are away. King Daddy works from afternoon to almost midnight, my brother is in his senior year in high school (and that means more "gimiks", rendevous with friends), and my sister (who quit her job right after the first day, long story) spends her time in the house with a new hobby: custom jewelry making, which she sells to her boyfriend's cousins.

She also asks me to help her with another round of job-hunting. So far, things aren't that good.

Sports Life: My Imperial World Cup Analysis

2006-07-09T17:44:00.000+08:00

The World Cup Finals is just hours away, and your Empress is torn between two great football teams.

Who do I think will win the coveted trophy?

France?

Or Italy?

France?

Or Italy?

Aaarrgh! My head is aching...

House Life: F*ckage

2006-07-09T01:44:00.000+08:00

The big box had arrived!

Queen Mother sent us a huge package filled with gifts for all of the members of the imperial family stuck--I mean, living--in the Philippine Islands.

The contents in the box contained the usual stuff: cans of SPAM and Vienna sausage, canned oranges, hand-me-down Prada handbags and Victoria's Secret underwear, ladies' shoes, make-up kits.

What did I get?

An electric toothbrush.

A deodorant.

And a pile of Us Magazine.

Thanks, Ma.

Intermission Number: Numa Numa In Concert!

2006-07-09T01:23:00.000+08:00

The Numa Numa may give you one hell of an LSS (okay, okay, it's "Dragostea Din Tei"), but I just found out that the boys (yes, there's three of them) who sang this infectious song are really really hot.

So here they are in my site, all the way from the Republic of Moldova, and reunited all for the sake of good ol' me, here's O-Zone!

(applause)

Go For Short!

2006-07-06T23:18:00.000+08:00

"I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know" -- Sophie Ellis Bextor, "Murder On The Dance Floor"

This latest post is long overdue. And just because I'm currently technically jobless doesn't mean I'm not doing anything in my life.

Last Tuesday, I attended a meeting that involved most staff members of the children's show I work for (since most of us are freelancers), which was called by a producer/ director. He introduced to us a line-up of potential projects. Hopefully I would become part of those.

See? Obviously I have a life offline.

While this guy doesn't seem to have any.

***************

You know by now that I like my posts long, but after much thought, I have decided to do the unthinkable.

I would go for short.

Yup, shorter posts. Easier to the eyes. More random lives.

But I still like mine long.

***************

NET LIFE: HOTTIE CHAT

I recently got in touch with my good friend Luis, who hails all the way from Venezuela, while he's working and while I'm groggy and battling sleep (damn that 12-hour difference). What we chatted about? It's about our favorite subject: men.

Luis: are there more hotties today?
Empress: of course there are ;)
Empress: never mind the girl...

Empress: what do you think?
Luis: he is gorgeous, nice chest
Empress: how about this one?

Empress: i honestly don't like him, but what do you think?
Luis: nice ands, but too fem of a face
Empress: exactly
Empress: but a lot of girls here are gaga over that celebrity ...eww
Luis: really?
Luis: is he gay?
Luis: i bet he is
Empress: well, he's rumored to be gay...i think he is
Luis: i'd bet my balls he is
Luis: lol
Empress: haha!

Selling My Soul...For That?

2006-06-29T15:47:00.000+08:00

Ever wonder why I like to publish my blog with long posts?

Simple, because I like mine long.

But this time, I'm trying to make this post short, like an awful one-night stand. Hope you don't come quick.

***************

I'm trying my best to concentrate on this entry, however by some stroke of bad luck, I found myself in a noisy noisy net cafe littered with noisy noisy high school students who waste their time playing Ragnarok and some other online games after class amidst a noisy noisy noise coming from the radio that plays nothing but novelty songs. Not that I hate novelty songs, but if you could only hear how loud it is, and if you could also only hear how rowdy these kids surrounding me are, it kinda leaves you in a blank state, unable to type in your innermost thoughts and colorful random lives.

Oh crap. Let's just continue with this.

***************

WORK LIFE: SELLING THE SOUL

"Are you willing to sell you soul to work for a glossy?" -- Meryl Streep, The Devil Wears Prada

Like I told you, I had a job interview last Monday. How did it go?

The interview was for a certain outsourcing company. I won't divulge what the exact name is, because it's easily searched on google. Anyway, I went to the interview venue a little late, but good thing it wasn't a big deal.

Before I was interviewed, I was given a test paper consisting of grammar exams and some English competency tests. I think I did well, like I needed to review my English skills (yabang, yabang).

But the events took a strange turn, at the interview.

The HR staff told me that the company had two sets of clients: the mainstream and...the adult. She asked me which type of client would I be comfortable working with.

Shocking as it may sound, but I had a weird feeling about the company when I was researching about in on the Net, and most of the time I find the company's name on a number of adult websites.

I replied that I had researched about the company and I was pretty much comfortable with "both" clients. Wait, did I just say that?

While waiting for another set of examinations, I was reminded of that quote I heard while watching a preview for "The Devil Wears Prada." Am I willing to sell my soul to work for this?

I said yes, if the price is right, and took the second set of exams.

It was an arduous exam I tell you since I had to complete six of them, all of them had to do with writing. One exam was to write a story about a set of pictures that remind you of that bangbus site. You know, picking unsuspecting young girls in a van and make sluts out of them?

I didn't exactly wrote a masterpiece (I mean, would adult literature get me a Palanca Award?), but the story I wrote about it was pretty much at par with what I read in most adult sites.

Going home, I was thinking whether I would get the message that I passed. All that was clouding in my mind was if the adult clientele would pay me higher than what I earn now (a dismal P10,000 a month that sometimes gets delayed and becomes a much more dismal P2,500...a month), I would get that damn job.

But I guess God had other plans.

Dad submitted my resume at where he works. The job opening would be tough, but I hope I would get that one. I spare you from counting chicks before they hatch, so I ask my dear subjects...errr, readers, I should get used using that term...to pray with me.

I pray too, you know.

***************

OPINIONATED LIFE: BOO-YEY

BOO: TO SOLAR ENTERTAINMENT. For showing World Cup games on a very very delayed basis, and instead broadcast the live games at posh bistros, bars, and hotels, giving Filipinos the impression that football is for the rich and elite. tsk tsk...

YEY: TO ABC-5. For continuing fueling our enthusiasm for Philippine Idol by featuring new teasers and previews every week. We hope Philippine Idol would indeed become a television phenomenon. PLUG: Don't forget to visit Philippine Idol Updates for the latest about this upcoming program.

BOO: TO VARIETY SHOW "ASAP." For having a copycat logo of Philippine Idol for their lame production number.

YEY: TO BUBBLE GANG. For this funny rock song spoof.

***************

I'm keeping the men-worshipping to myself for now. I'll share them to you once I'm done, just kidding.

My Backward Country (Bow...)

2006-06-23T22:45:00.000+08:00

WORK LIFE: DELAYS AND MORE DELAYS (IS THERE ANY HOPE?)

Just when I thought that it was only the kiddie show (and my salary from it) that gets delayed, now I hear more bad news.

On the eve of our supposed meeting with the celebrity mom for our new show project, our executive producer got hospitalized for severe stomach pains. Not only the meeting was cancelled, our production manager was informed by the TV network that the target timeslot for the new show had been taken.

This caused a ripple effect of sorts. Our salaries would be further delayed since our supposed talent fees were used for the hospitalization. The development for the new show would be taking a back seat.

Our executive producer was released two days before, but because she celebrated too much after the release, she was hospitalized again yesterday.

Is there any hope for the almost-penniless multi-media multi-tasker? It feels like I'm a masochist when it comes to careers, that I would able to tolerate even the most severe of financial problems for the love of the job. I left my first job as a model agent after five months of not being paid, and now this.

I decided to take action...

I have a job interview on Monday. Wish me luck.

***************

OPINIONATED LIFE: IF NOAH IS FILIPINO

I received this e-mail recently and I couldn't help but to share its words of wisdom to my dearest subjects...I mean, readers.

The scenario is a version of Noah's Ark in a Philippine setting.

It is translated to English for the delight of my international readers:

The year was 2005 and Noah lived as an ordinary middle-class Filipino. One day, God appeared to him and said, "A Great Flood will cover the Philippines one year from now. I command you to build an ark to shelter pairs of different animals as well as Filipino couples from all over the country." God gave Noah the specifications of the ark and he full-heartedly accepted the responsibility of saving his fellow Filpinos from the iminent flood.

After one year, God appeared again to Noah. Upon seeing that Noah hadn't built an ark ever since, God became furious. "Where is the ark I asked you to build," God asked.

"Forgive me, my Lord, for I have failed to fulfill your command," Noah replied. "There had been a great problem in Your plan."

And Noah began narrating the obstacles that besieged his work of building the ark.

He asked for a Mayor's permit, but he was told that the Mayor will only grant permission if Noah would assign the construction firm of the Mayor's nephew as the contractor.

He then went to the Congressman's office, but the politician would grant Noah's permit if he would receive 30% of the construction budget.

His hired workers established a labor union and declared a strike, while left-wing groups became aware of Noah's plans and they set-up rallies for unfair procedures in choosing the people who would be in the ark (only God-believing people are allowed).

Even gay and lesbian groups joined in the rallies because only heterosexual couples were allowed in the ark.

Civil society groups also joined in the fray, accusing the ark project as being funded by gambling lords.

With all the chaos and media coverage this event had been receiving, the Senate initiated a hearing "in aid of legislation." Noah tried to invoke Executive Order 464 to inhibit himself from the hearing, but since he wasn't an executive official, he was forced to attend.

When the Senators realized that the project was God's command, they declared it unconstitutional due to separation of Church and State.

The National Bureau of Investigation as well as Philippine National Police claimed that they received classified information that the ark would be used as an escape vehicle of former President Joseph Estrada, while the Armed Forces and Department of Justice reported that the ark would be used by renegade soldiers in their coup against President Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo.

Noah went to the office of Presidential Spokesperson Mike Defensor, requesting a visit to the president. He was told that GMA would only allow the ark to be built if the slogan "Towards A Strong Republic" would be painted on it.

"I refuse the president's offer and until now the project has a Temporary Restraining Order. I think it would take 10 years to complete the ark, my Lord," Noah ended his woeful narration.

God shook His head and said, "I do not need to destroy this country. I let the Filipinos destroy their country by themselves."

***************

INTERMISSION NUMBER: KEYS ME

Because of overwhelming clamor, Philippine starlet Alyssa Alano is gracious enough to do an encore performance of her rendition of "Keys Me" by Sixpence None The Richer. Finally, this is her claim to fame.

(applause)

***************

MOTIF: DISNEYLAND!

Finally, after that whirlwind compulsory shopping tour (by the way, we also passed by a jewelry factory and bought a pearl earring and necklace set for Queen Mother; that was the least we could do after failing to shop for Lacostes and Nikes), the imperial family found themselves to Hong Kong Disneyland.

It was raining when we visited the theme park, so we bought a pair of plastic parkas for HK$35 each. Boy, that parka was giving me the sweats.

There was supposed to be a grand parade by the time we entered Disneyland, but because it was raining, the parade only consisted of two carriages filled with Disney mascots all in raincoats. Even Mickey and Minnie had hoods that fitted their huge ears perfectly.

Although Hong Kong Disneyland is relatively smaller compared to Disneyland in Anaheim, we didn't managed to attend most of the rides and attractions. Why?

Well you see, most of our afternoon and evening on Disneyland was spent on waiting for the next Grand Parade, as well as falling in line to have our photos taken with Disney celebrities like Daisy Duck, Tigger, and of course, Mickey and Minnie.

My sister and brother were so set on having their pictures taken with Mickey and Minnie, so I decided to tag along. This "is" Disneyland's main attraction. Waiting in line for the Mickey-Minnie photo-op takes longer than waiting in line for popular rides like Space Mountain and The Many Adventures Of Winnie The Pooh.

One female visitor was so ecstatic after having her photo taken, she even hugged Mickey and gave Minnie a kiss. On the lips.

Mickey and Minnie don't stay too long as they had three minute breaks every fifteen minutes. I think there are several Mickey and Minnies taking shifts during the photo-op.

Finally, it was our turn. I flashed out a "devil's horns" sign to deviate from the usual "V" sign the tourists tend to do.

I could not believe I was holding the darn parka when this shot was taken.

Of course, we took some great rides like Space Mountain and Buzz Lightyear. Well, those are the only two rides that we took, while we also went to their attractions like their train that goes around the theme park, as well as those slow taxi vehicles. We capped our afternoon with a visit to its Fantasia-inspired 3-D theater (definitely a must-see for every Disneyland visitor).

We didn't bother much on the fireworks display (although it looked fantastic) since we elbowed and bumped our way out of Disneyland, anticipating the surge of people exiting the park.

We met Eric at the parking lot and, together with the rest of the tour group, took the bus to China.

***************

OPINIONATED LIFE: IS FILIPINO CULTURE IMMORAL?

I told you in my previous post of a documentary featuring elderly women in Kalayaan, Laguna Province, displaying wooden phalluses during weddings.

The documentary had caught the ire of the Movie and Television Review and Classification Board (MTRCB), the country's censors (although they deny it) and rating office.

MTRCB summoned documentarist Howie Severino for a hearing. Apparently, they received complaints from several "concerned citizens" claiming that the documentary was malicious.

National Artist for Dance Ramon Obusan, who was present during the hearing, defended Severino. He explained that the "lukayos" are the keepers of a tradition. "Where is the dividing line between malice and acceptance and appreciating tradition as part of what we've inherited from the past," Obusan asked.

However noble the defense was, the censors board (although they deny that they censor) do not buy the anthropological argument. The MTRCB committee head Atty. Manuel Cases said what to me is the most ignorant statement that comes from a lawyer:

"Sure, it is their tradition--they want to play with dildos. That's what it is. To me, that's how it looked, they like to play with dildos...But we have to see this in the context of the law and the viewing public. This should not be shown to young people. They will not understand."

Dos that mean that hold a malicious and immoral culture? That we should thank the Spanish friars for putting blouses on our bare-breasted women back in the day? That we as a nation are moving forward because we throw away the customs and traditions that our ancestors had practiced, and instead celebrate Thanksgiving and Valentine's Day?

Atty. Manuel Cases underestimates the intelligence of our youth. He underestimates television viewers as dumb and unappreciative. He thinks that the documentary was pornographic.

Well, Atty. Manuel Cases should check his porn collection and let's see if he gets turned on by the sight of a wooden penis.

Because if he doesn't...

Then let's put this giant phallus up Atty. Manuel Cases' ass.

***************

RANDOM HOT MEN: ZANJOE MARUDO

I keep these hot photos of Pinoy model and celebrity Zanjoe Marudo in my inbox and it is only now that I am able to share these steaming body shots with my loyal readers. Me get sweaty...

ATTENTION MALE READERS: Is your body worthy of worship? Send your hot photos to empressmaruja@gmail.com. We are all waiting...

***************

BOW DOWN AND WORSHIP MY FOOTNOTES:

1) President Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo got karma...errr, hospitalized for acute infectious diarrhea. Wouldn't it be the same if they removed the "acute" and the "infectious" part?

2) DA MARUJA CODE UPDATE: Finally, a correct answer to the code was provided by The Goddess. The answer is: I SWEAR TO THE GAY GODS THAT DENNIS TRILLO IS DEFINITELY NOT GAY. PIOLO IS. Although he doesn't want to be recommended, I'll be the gay of my word. Check out my recommendations section.

Hot With Fever And Back-To-Back Misadventures

2006-06-17T22:11:00.000+08:00

My posts are so delayed, just like my salary.

Go on, laugh.

***************

SPORT LIFE: FEVERISH WITH THE SOCCER BALLS

The world is currently in a frenzy with the ongoing FIFA World Cup in Germany, and its fever is starting to get into me.

I've always been curious about football since college, when I had an invitation to the sport as several classmates and orgmates became part of our Arts and Letters Department's football varsity team, and I began watching some of the inter-college football games (around 2 matches actually). At first, I found football as a really slow sport. It takes too long to score a goal.

I tried watching the English Premier League through cable in the middle of the night, I had a favorite team in form of Manchester United (blame it on David Beckham), but no matter how I watched it, no matter how curious I was to get me interested about this sport, I ended up sleeping.

I mean, I'm living in a nation of midget basketball players, toothless billiards pool sharks, and beer-guzzling, ice cream-stuffing, fried chicken-chomping, wireless karaoke microphone-singing, pawn-shopping boxers. I'm just like any other Filipino who is oblivious about football.

But that all changed recently.

I was watching the last episode of Jewel In The Palace, a popular Korean drama, and while flipping through channels during its commercial break, I stumbled upon a World Cup match between South Korea and Togo. It just started its second half.

So I gave it a try watching a long soccer match. And then, the magic happened.

A free kick opportunity was given to Korea. The kick was long, and...

A goal!

Everybody in the stadium were elated with joy. Some were waving their red banners, some were crying, it was like...wow, that was a good play.

And then I flipped the channel to see Jang-Geum's attempt to perform a Caesarian delivery, unheard of in 15th century Korea.

The show ended and I flipped the channel again to watch the rest of the match.

To make the long story short, it was then I realized what makes the world go gaga over football. Because it was a matter of fair play, teamwork and tactics on part of the teams, while it's a matter of pride and perseverance among the throngs of fans and admirers.

The next evening, I was watching a finals between Ecuador and Costa Rica when King Daddy came home from work. Habitually, he would wanted to watch some late-night movies before going to bed, but I asked him to watch soccer with me. Being a sweet child that I am, Dad allowed me.

My sister was also watching the match and she asked me, "What's the yellow card for?"

"Technical foul," I answered to her using basketball jargon (which my country is so agog at, considering our players are short...duh?). "If he get two technical fouls, he's ejected from the field and he gets a one-game suspension."

And an Ecuadoran striker hit a goal.

"Shoot!" my Dad shouted.

(all FIFA World Cup photos courtesy of afp.com)

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INTERMISSION NUMBER: MANNY PACQUIAO

Remember the beer-guzzling, ice cream-stuffing, fried chicken-chomping, wireless karaoke microphone-singing, pawn-shopping boxer I told you about? Well, he's here right now to perform his debut single. Please don't laugh...

(applause)

***************

MOTIF: LOST IN HONG KONG (PART 3)

Queen Mother is currently based in the US and when she funded our imperial family trip to Southern China, she had one teeny-tiny request: that we would shop some things for her, like a set of Lacoste t-shirts in all pastel colors, a Coach handbag, and some pairs of Nike sneakers. All in a total travel budget of US$500.

"Don't worry," my Mom said during her phone call befor we left. "Those Lacoste shirts costs US$20 in Hong Kong."

We were walking along Nathan Road and Princess Six couldn't help but notice my sweats.

"You shouldn't have worn that long-sleeved shirt," she said.

I, in the meantime, insisted that it wasn't summer yet in Hong Kong. Tiis-ganda.

After several minutes of asking around, my sister and I finally arrived at the Lacoste store that was minutes away from closing. The staff were courteous as we were always being mistaken as Chinese. We went straight to the shirts shelf and spotted the pastel shirts that my Mom wanted.

"How much is it," my sister asked.

"It costs HK$560," I said.

We only had HK$500 in our pocket.

We walked two blocks further and saw Coach store in the Peninsula Hotel was closed. We also tried looking for the Nike store, but the location I saw in my map...well, it wasn't there.

I got so tired I started fanning the collar on my shirt. That was when I realized why some passengers at the subway couldn't help but notice me.

The shirt's tag was at the front side.

We took the long subway ride and walked home with nothing in us but a bunch of sweats and a lot of funny memories.

"Did you see that ugly couple canoodling in the subway," my sister asked.

"No, I was busy watching that guy wearing a business suit with two companions holding a plastic bag near his mouth," I said while munching the leftover rice noodles in our hotel room. "I swear he was about to puke when the subway doors were shut."

***************

INTERMISSION NUMBER: MISHKA ADAMS

While the empress takes a break, please relax and unwind yourself with the soothing sound of the Philippine Jazz. Here's Mishka Adams with her debut single, Where Do We Begin.

(applause)

***************

MOTIF: LEVELING

The next day, the imperial family's misadventure took us to Hong Kong Disneyland, but not before our tour guide Eric took on a whirlwind ride of nauseating shopping.

Instead of describing to us the beautiful sceneries of Metropolitan Hong Kong, he instead inculcated to us what he called "The 5 Levels of Hong Kong," consisting of the filthy rich, the rich, the upper-middle, the middle, and the lower classes. He illustrated our bus driver as an example of the lower class. Our driver's job is solely based on a per-project basis (since Hong Kong, like China, he said, does not have a minimum wage), while the photographer who was with our tour was an example of the middle class since he worked two jobs. Eric, meanwhile, was an example of the middle class since he worked from 8 to overtime.

We first went to Avenue of the Stars, Hong Kong's version of Hollywood Walk of Fame, where you could also see a statue of Bruce Lee. It was rainy, so that pretty much spoiled our visit. But we took pictures anyway.

Eric then took us to Harbour Centre, where somewhere in there was a shop filled with t-shirts, toys and supposedly -Disney souvenirs, not to mention hundreds of dried plum (champoy). We had our fill buying stuff not only for ourselves but also to our kiddie show's bosses, staff, and crew. He told us beforehand to always state to the counter that our tour guide was Eric. Apparently, he received commissions depending on how much his tour group spent on shopping.

On our way to Disneyland, Eric even offered a set of 6 souvenir keychains being sold by our bus driver for HK$50. And he also brought out our photos in Avenue of the Stars attached in microwavable plates for HK$150 each (our family had 4).

It was still darn raining when we got to Hong Kong Disneyland. Eric left us to enjoy the afternoon and we would get to meet him on closing time so he would take us to Mainland China.

I'll tell you what happened in Hong Kong Disneyland on my next post.

***************

RANDOM HOT MEN: SOCCER HOTTIES

I never knew that footballers are worthy of being worshipped.

Landon Donovan of Team USA

Carlos Bocanegra, also from US Team

Fabio Cannovaro of Italy

And, of course, no soccer hottie list would be complete without Captain England, David Beckham.

I would like to believe that my male readers are the hottest guys on the planet. Prove to me that your body deserves to be worshipped. Send you hot photos to empressmaruja@gmail.com.

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BOW DOWN AND WORSHIP MY FOOTNOTES

1) Thank you for reading through my blog and I hope you come back for more. Don't forget to leave your message of love through the comments or at the chat box. Also, spread the imperial decree (my blog, that is) to your friends and colleagues. That would be truly appreciated. (bows)

2) This movie quote is bound to become a classic:

"Oo, inaamin ko. Sila ay mga yakal, lawaan, apitong at narra. At kami ay saging lang. Pero maghanap kayo ng puno sa buong Pilipinas, saging lang ang may puso...Saging lang ang may puso! Saging lang!” — Mark Lapid (Apoy sa Dibdib ng Samar).

Roughly translated as:

"Yes, I admit it. They are the oaks, the cedars, redwoods, and pines. And we are only banana trees. But among the trees in the Philippines, only the banana tree has a heart...Only the banana tree has a heart! Only the banana!" -- Mark Lapid (Fire in the Heart of Samar)

Bogged Down And Still Lost

2006-06-11T19:13:00.000+08:00

BLOG LIFE: BOGGED DOWN

My Internet connection got a little bit down and out over the past few days, that's why I haven't posted an entry this week.

Darn, just because I could only afford dial-up doesn't mean I deserve such injustice.

***************

WORK LIFE: PRO BONO

I knew something like this would happen.

Last Tuesday, the kiddie show team had a meeting and we were supposed to discuss our upcoming episode shoot and a mall tour.

But all that agenda was erased when our executive producer laid out a very sad news: we would stop shooting our kiddie show temporarily.

To cope up with increasing operations cost, our shoots were put on hold for the whole month of June. She promised that our delayed salaries from our previous episodes) will be paid as soon as possible. (You see, unlike regular clerical jobs, TV production people are paid on a per-episode basis.)

However, she announced something big: a new show will be pushed through. We are currently in the pre-production phase of developing a pilot for our new show. This means, we work for this episode pro bono (or what I like to call "for the love") and will be presented to advertisers, crossing our fingers and ingrown toenails for much...no, make that desperately-needed sponsorship.

Last Thursday, I joined a meeting with our show's prospective host (a well-known celebrity mom) and her manager at the posh Podium Mall. The meeting went well, the host was actually enthusiastic (she couldn't even help telling me that we have met before, I swear to the gods I haven't, or have I?).

I hope this new project would go out well because I'm bored working for free.

***************

INTERMISSION NUMBER : DANCE DANCE EVOLUTION

Viewed over 2 million times on youtube, this motivational speaker really knows how to motivate people (that's a dull statement).

So let's dance with him and relive our time of leg-warmers, Eloy's, and Aqua Net.

(applause)

***************

MOTIF: LOST IN HONG KONG (PART 2)

After an hour of lying on our hotel beds thinking whether or not to shop that night, my sister and I finally decided to give it a go. After all, we won't find any opportune time to shop except in our only night in the City of Life, before the stores closed.

But not before mapping the locations of the stores we were supposed to visit, running to my Dad's and Prince's room at the other side of the hall and ask for shopping money, and asking the hotel personnel how to get to stores the quickest.

All while my sister is putting on her make-up again.

We left the hotel at around 8:30 PM, hours away from closing time, and decided to travel by subway.

The locals call it MTR, and buying a fare ticket is way different from what we were used to with MRT-3 where we fall in line at the counters where the attendants encode the fare tickets. In the MTR, it took us around 10 minutes of walking around the almost-empty Tai Po Hau Station to realize that the tickets are sold through automated machines. (I told you we only relied on our sense of direction, much like a typical Filipino.)

The fare ticket costed only HK$9 each from Tai Po Hau to Tsim Sha Tsui, quite cheap if you ask me, considering how far it was.

We took the train to Hong Kong's shopping district. The travel time was fast, really fast (if 12 stations in 15 minutes isn't fast enough).

Our ride at the MTR gave us a glimpse of Hong Kong's culture that our tourmates would not get to experience, since most of them were holed in their espective hotel rooms.

I found it odd why other passegners seem to stare at me. Hmmm...

My sister and I noticed that the Bohemian trend was at its peak in Hong Kong fashion (and that was, like, two years ago in Manila). But in their case, it was quite extreme: ruffled dresses, skirts, bags, you name it, it was all ruffle-ly. And curls were "in."

Guys, meanwhile, were pretty laidback. Skater shorts, white shirts, but what really counts were their gadgets accessories. They lke to show-off their PSPs and cellphones in wanton abandon. I'd like to see them do that in Manila without the fear of getting mugged...and probably a bonus stab.

Tsim Sha Tsui Station was huge and had so many exits we didn't know where to go. We finally asked the customer care representative and he told us that to take the "O Exit" to reach Nathan Road, but the exits we could only see are from A to G.

Aaaargh, bahala na, ewan. We took A1.

Unlike in Manila where every store is most likely located in a single mall building, specialty stores in Hong Kong were separately located. Good thing we were prepared with our sneakers because it would take a lot of walking with this shopping trip.

And to think we weren't shopping for ourselves.

(to be continued)

***************

RANDOM HOT MEN: JAKE CUENCA, BY POPULAR DEMAND

Due to overwhelming popular demand (actually, it was only Yuri who requested it, but it's overwhelming just the same), hottie celebrity Jake Cuenca returns in not only one, not even two, but three oh-so-yummy photos hot off the Generation Pink Magazine.

Damn, those gay magazines are starting to sprout like mushrooms and I haven't bought one yet. The last time I bought a gay mag was back in high school, and that was freaking Chika-Chika.

Anyway, time to salivate...

Do you think you are hotter than this guy? Prove it to us, send your hot hot photos to empressmaruja@gmail.com.

***************

BOW DOWN AND WORSHIP MY FOOTNOTES

1) Thank you guys for your continuing support in my blog. I hope you keep on reading it and spreading the good word of ka-faggot-an to your friends and colleagues. Also, don't forget to leave your messages of love, because I do love reading your comments.

2) TO EVERYONE IN MY BLOGROLL: Sorry if I haven't been visiting your blogs lately. I do promise to read each and every one of them and leave my lovely notes as well.

3) DA MARUJA CODE UPDATE: An engineering cutie from Mapua dropped by at the comments section and sent his answer to Da Maruja Code. Too bad he missed a word, but good job nonetheless.

Lost In Hong Kong/ The Correspondent

2006-06-05T17:28:00.000+08:00

Let's celebrate the first day of school, 1:100 ratio and all!

Brought to you by Rexona.

***************

MOTIF: LOST IN HONG KONG (PART 1)

The imperial family took a ferry from Macau to Kowloon. We were met by our tour guide named Eric. After herding all 25 members of the tour group, he booked us at Panda Hotel where we would stay for the night.

Eric seemed like a nice person, but he seemed street-wise when it comes to getting kickbacks and commissions. As he said, "Hong Kong is very competitive."

For one, he told the tour group of an optional night tour where we would go around the city's night market. Since it's optional, we have to pay HK$20 (without dinner) and add another HK$20 for dinner. Although we plan on shopping at night, Dad decided not to go along.

That means, we had a lot of free time in our hands. First stop: another round of camwhoring.

In Dad's and brother's room.

Here's the view from the room my sister and I were in. Ewww!

It was 6 pm and we decided to have an early dinner before my sister and I go out for a night of shopping.

But not before another round of camwhoring.

Darn! My humps are showing!

My humps!
My humps, my humps, may humps!

I swear the panda was ticklish!

We walked several blocks to look for a place to dine. We didn't ask anyone for directions, only relying on our innate sense of direction.

Until finally we stumbled at a restaurant named "Do Do."

Thank the gods that the diner had a menu in English, or else we would have mistaken ordering for "Dodo Steaks" or "Dodo ng Cow."

Most of its dishes are noodles, only with different toppings. We ordered 4 rice noodle dishes for each of us.

We looked silly in that restaurant, since we are the only foreigners there and we kept camwhoring while waiting for the dishes to be served.

We realized that each noodle dish is apparently good for four servings, so we ended up with 8 servings of rice noodles with squid and 8 servings of stir-fried beef noodles. Since we didn't eat much since we went to the airport, we pretty much emptied half of our dishes. I told Dad to give a sign language to the waitress of a clenched fist with palm facing downward. She got what we meant: put the rest on take-out.

The vicinity of the hotel is littered with different department stores and markets, so we couldn't help looking for some goods to buy.

We went to our respective hotel rooms at around 7:30 pm. My sister and I took some rest, thinking on whether or not to shop that night.

(to be continued)

***************

INTERMISSION NUMBER: THE ORDERTAKER

Speaking of taking orders, here's a fitting intermission number courtesy from Parokya Ni Edgar. Can you guess what song it was spoofed from?

***************

SHOWBIZ LIFE: THE CORRESPONDENT

My fanaticism (or I prefer it to call as geekiness) over the upcoming Philippine Idol has reaped a certain reward.

I accepted an offer to be a correspondent for a fansite called Philippine Idol Updates, featuring the latest news and information about the search for "The National Singer."

I would like to thank the people behind the site for acknowedging me several times and it's an honor to contribute for their fansite as much as I could.

So take some time browsing at the Philippine Idol Updates, you could probably spot which reports are mine.

***************

RANDOM HOT MEN: DENNIS TRILLO

At last! A hot picture of Dennis Trillo worthy of worshipping!

I'm starting to get to cooties!

***************

BOW DOWN AND WORSHIP MY FOOTNOTE

I've just received an important heirloom from my King Daddy.

It's a Philippine Idol pin, now worn by all employees of ABC-5. You can tell that they are proud of this baby.

Misadventures And The Powerful Phallus

2006-06-01T18:51:00.000+08:00

TRAVEL LIFE: MISADVENTURES OF THE IMPERIAL FAMILY (THE SAGA BEGINS)

4 Long Days
3 Beautiful Cities
2 Crazy Tours
1 Chaotic Adventure

Last weekend, the imperial family toured around Southern China. For four days and three nights, your empress had collected quite a number of memorable random lives which I shared with my family.

Because there are so many stories to tell, I decided to segregate these random lives into a special section called Misadventures Of The Imperial Family (aka MOTIF), a multi-part series of what my family had got ourselves into as we stepped into Macau, Hong Kong, and its next-door neighbor Shenzhen.

First, let me introduce to you the cast of the imperial family:

King Daddy

Princess Six

Prince Eleven

and yours truly, His Royal Highness The Empress.

The flight to Macau was my siblings' first time to ride an airplane, while King Daddy and I have ridden airplanes several times before, so it's not that scary actually.

Except for those occasional turbulence.

My younger brother had a hard time adjusting to the cabin pressure, especially that air pushing in his eardrums. I told him to yawn, but that didn't work. So, the next possible cure was to pinch his nose and blow from it. That seemed to work.

Once we stepped into the airport, all of the passengers were holed up like sardines in a shuttle that transfers us to the gate. And unlike certain reports, I didn't see any "Filipinos Only" line at the Immigration.

As we exit towards the arrival lobby, the imperial family decided to go camwhore mode while breezing through the "walkalator".

I anticipated Macau to have cold weather, but the knitted scarf only gave me the sweats. But I had to pretend like nothing is wrong. Tiis-ganda (pretend like it's beautiful), as my fellow fags would say.
We were met by our Macau tour guide named Vivian in the airport. After herding (that doesn't sound right) all the members of the tour group, she would take us to the ferry terminal straight to Hong Kong. Much to my dismay, it was then I realized that our tour itinerary did not include a tour around The Vegas of Asia. I had to content myself staring at the Stratosphere (I mean the Macau Tower) and those casino-hotels like Sands and Wynn sprouted far away from the bus view.

As we transfer to the ferry, Vivian decided to give away maps of Macau for free, just in case we wanted to go back. She then started to display refrigerator magnets that look like the Ruins of St. Paul and tired to sell them for US$3, with a special offer of "buy two for US$5."

I didn't realize that it was the sign of things to come.

(to be continued)

***************

GEEK LIFE: CRAZY FOR WOODEN PENISES

"A titi is a titi. No matter how you twist the letters, it's still a titi." -- Ramon Obusan, National Artist for Dance

I watched a documentary at GMA about the Filipino's degrading value for tradition. One case study the host Howie Severino pointed out was the celebration in nearby Laguna Province called "Lukayo" (derived from the Spanish term for "clown" (lucayo) or a compressed term for "luka-luka kayo" (you're all crazy).

True enough, it is a crazy tradition in far-flung Kalayaan town. During a wedding procession, the bride and the groom are being escorted by a band of clown-like grandmothers holding wooden phalluses. It is meant to promote fertility among the couple.

I did not know that our 500-year-old Catholic country still holds its pagan roots up to this day, and it was only then I realized that our ancestors were crazy for the almighty phallus. Mr. Severino, through his interview with National Artist Ramon Obusan, even pointed out several groups that use wooden penises in different occassions. It was being worn by women on boats to fool Mother Nature in lowering the tides in Cebu Island. It was also worn by men completely covered with banana leaves in Cagayan Province during Holy Week.

And while the couple's wedding is being celebrated in the church, the lukayos are camping outside, singing nursery rhymes with twisted, naughty lyrics. Everyone is laughing. Everyone is happy.

Except for the parish priest.

A native of Iloilo, it is the first time the parish priest see a band of elderly women proudly wielding their wooden penises for everyone to see. He does not like the "savage" practice and has since barred the lukayos to step outside the church during weddings.

But that does not mean the grannies could not join the newlyweds as they parade home for a lively reception.

Being an anthropology junkie, I was laughing at those lolas as they dance joyfully on the street. I thought it was a fun celebration.

That priest was a kill-joy.

***************

INTERMISSION NUMBER: RIVERMAYA ON MTV ASIA AWARDS 2006

2005 was a great year for Filipino music and what better way to cap it was Rivermaya's highlight performance at the recently-concluded MTV Asia Awards at Bangkok. Kelly Rowland of Destiny's Child introduced the group backed-up by Thailand's Royal Symphony Orchestra. Wow.

So, without further ado, here's an encore presentation of Rivermaya's "You'll Be Safe Here." Please give them a rousing, proud applause.

(applause)

***************

SHOWBIZ LIFE: MY HOLLYWOOD CRUSH

From high school to college, I had a huge crush on Tom Cruise. While I was taking up my communication arts degree, we were asked to list down our ambitions. What I wrote on the whiteboard made some of my classmates say, "What the?"

I didn't wish to be a writer (that would be easy).

I didn't dream to become a TV practitioner (I had Dad to back me up).

I thought of an ambition that may seem hard to attain, but what seemd to me life-satisfying.

I wrote: "To become Tom Cruise's personal assistant"

I guess I was destined to be someone else's slave then. I thought being an assistant is easier than being the boss. That making other lives better is less stressful than fixing your own life. But then I realized that my loyalties would get me nowhere and decided to step up and try my best to lead.

Besides, this happened.

So, while watching a late-night talk show on cable, I was smitten by a new Hollywood hunk.

You would never guess who he is.

It's comedian Will Arnett. You would probably have seen him in "Arrested Development," but in Hollywood he is more famous as that husky voice behind a lot of movie trailers as well as teasers for CBS shows. He attributed that unique voice of his to a lot of smoking.

Now I know why a lot of girls find funny men sexy (he is, isn't he?). Too bad he's married.

Besides, this isn't funny.

***************

SHOWBIZ LIFE: PHILIPPINE IDOL JUDGES COMPLETE!

And then there are three!

After weeks of specualtion, ABC-5 has released the identities of two remaining judges who will join Ryan Cayabyab in the upcoming Philippine Idol this July.

The lone lady in the roster is Pilita Corrales. Dubbed as Asia's Queen Of Songs, she had 15 years of experience in the singing contest circuit as co-host "Tanghalan Ng Kampeon" (Champion's Theater) and "Bagong Kampeon" (The New Champion). She was also the only Filipino performer to front a Beatles' concert.

The third judge, the youngest among the three, is rapper and producer Francis Magalona. A breakdancer back in the 1980's, his career has branched out considerably into acting and music production. Francis M has been constantly promoting the local hip-hop scene and continues to scout for new talents in the field. He is expected to give out the edgy comments, hopefully not cloning Simon Cowell.

So, with the Philippine Idol Triad complete, I wonder how their chemistry works on TV?

Might as well watch.

***************

RANDOM HOT MEN: ALFRED VARGAS

If his stint in X-Ray Magazine isn't enough, Alfred Vargas just released his very own coffeetable book oozing with hotness. Everytime I see him on TV, the first I notice about him is his seemingly perfect...nose.

And you know what they say about guys with nice noses.

***************

BOW DOWN AND WORSHIP MY FOOTNOTES

1) Here's an update on Da Maruja Code.

I MQIAH DY DNI GAY GYTM DNAD TIRRIM DHICCY IM TIWIRIDICY RYD GAY. PIYCY IM.

I'll give out another clue to this secret message.

D = T

The first to post the secret message on the comments section will be humbly rewarded with a four-week recommendation of his or her blog. Can you crack the code?

2) QUOTES TO DIE FOR: "I have had a lot of key chains like this one!" -- my co-worker after giving Dad's and my pasalubong from Hong Kong. What an ingrate, she didn't even bother to say "Thank you." I should have given it to someone who's more appreciative.

3) Do you like what you hear on Maruja Radio? Would you like to imitate Sharon Cuneta and say, "Mr. DJ, can I make a request?" Send your requests trhough my e-mail, empressmaruja@gmail.com with the header "request." Original Pilipino Music is much appreciated, although foreign songs are welcome too (as long as I can find it on the Net).

3) I have noticed that the readership of this blog has increased incredibly for the month of May. I would like to thank my loyal readers and lurkers, friends and frenemies, lovers and haters, as well as those web searchers who stumbled at my site by accident. Thank you for keeping me within the Top 150 of Pinoy Top Blogs.

Here's for the quest for Top 100.

5) Don't forget to check out my latest Recommendation. Pond Perspective is filled with a lot of fun stuff for work and play. Wanna be recommended? Just feel free to comment or leave an e-mail.

6) I didn't know that Hong Kong is also fond of phalluses!

Home...

2006-05-29T22:35:00.000+08:00

Just got home from an exhausting weekend. It would probably take one or two days for me to collect my thoughts so please be patient. No random hot guys and footnote-worshipping in the meantime.

So, what have I done in the past four days? I'll let you guess.

This Could Be Empress Maruja's Longest Post, So Far...

2006-05-23T18:44:00.000+08:00

Or maybe not.

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WORK LIFE: JOB QUEST

I finally decided that I shall once again embark on a difficult and treacherous journey. I will look for another job.

Yes, no more waiting for the manna from heaven (also known as delayed salary) to trickle down to my bare pockets. It's time to leave all the previous quest boo-boos and take action once more.

I already worte several letters of application to notable companies and I hope that I could take an unbeaten path to imperial glory.

Wish me luck.

***************

WORK LIFE: FUN AND GAMES IN THE MEANTIME

So, while preparing for the embarkment of yet another career journey, I had to do my best in making my current work in the children's show a breeze (and less pain in the neck).

The production team went to a local recreation center called Kidz World (yes, with a "Z"). It mainly boast of its golf complex for kids and a huge wave pool.

Our episode is a continuation of our show's Kiddie Amazing Challenge, which is a series of games played by our hosts. This time, it only consists of three games: a wall-climbing challenge, a shoot-the-balloons-in-a-pool game, and a treasure hunt-slash-obstacle-course.

To make the long story short, it was a fun shoot filled with laughs and tears (courtesy from the losing team). And while we kill time, the staff and hosts lounged around the huge wave pool (and that also means HUGE waves).

But as the day ends, I realize that the shoot was also our head writer's last episode as the HD since he preferred venturing into the variety show he once offered me. That means, I would have to take the cudgels (I mean, the responsiblity) of being the head writer for the show's future episodes.

Sigh...if only I could ask for a raise...

***************

SUBLIMINAL LIFE: CERTAIN DAYDREAMS (OPEN LETTER TO M #2)

Just when I thought I have completely gotten over you, I lie on my bed to sleep and then, deep in thought, your face appeared in my head...again.

Why can't I forget you? I guess that angelic face is so hard to resist and I tend to end up thinking of what have you been doing. Wondering on the life that you are now leading. And just as before I close my eyes into deep slumber, I whisper to God to send my regards to you. I hope He catches my whispers and plant it in your thoughts.

You once told me, in that brief phone call years after not seeing each other, that you finally tracked me to my house (a friend called you a stalker but I didn't mind). Walking along my neighborhood, I wondered that you probably stepped meters away from my house, looking back and see that "FOR RENT" sign hanging in another house nearby. You probably thought of moving in, so you could see me more often. So you could, finally, be with me.

You would probably make friends with my Dad and my Big Brother (before he went to the States), have drinking sprees even during the most petty of celebrations. Whereas I would play coy and be the hostess, offering you bunch of drunkards more beer bottles and platefuls upon platefuls of peanuts and what-nots.

As I would serve to the table, I would probably take brief glances towards your eyes (oh, how I miss those eyes) and give out a smile. While you, like you always do, pretend not to see me, relying on your peripheral vision just to catch me.

We would probably be introduced by my Dad and pretend that we meet for the first time. We would say "Hi!" to each other and smile, as if we are getting to know each other all over again.

That would have been cool, but then again, probably not.

Damn, you're so hard to resist.

***************

INTERMISSION NUMBER: JASMINE VERSUS JASMINE

Your empress will take a break and while I'm taking my evening coffee, please give a warm Filipino welcome to my special guest...American Idol Season 3 contender Jasmine Trias together with...uh...Jasmine Trias!

***************

SUBLIMINAL LIFE: CERTAIN WONDERINGS (OPEN LETTER TO "BI")

I gotta be honest. You are still a mystery to me.

And until now I still can't figure out if I let you slip away from my grip.

If I had been insensitive, I'm sorry.

I wish I could hug you now, wrapping my arms around your warm body in this time of gloom. I want to comfort you, but you seem so distant now. I want to assure you that everything will be all right, but I wonder if after all of these, you let go of my arms and walk away.

And as I stare at your disappearing figure, I breathe freely and tell to the winds, "Thank you for being my number one fan."

***************

MEME LIFE: 10 SIMPLE PLEASURES

While taking a break, I received a meme from Nao asking for my 10 simple pleasures in life. Well, here are mine:

1) TV. A TV geek since kindergarten, I have been enjoying watching television (both the educational kind and the sleazy kind) and it has become my comfort tool.
2) INTERNET. Whether I am posting a forum, chatting with friends, or searching for hot guy pics, the Internet is my brand-new pleasure. I could be online for hours and still don't go tired.
3) WRITING. My passion since high school, and until now I polish my writing skills through this site as well as on paper.
4) COFFEE. Anytime is a good time to have a warm cup of coffee.
5) LAUGHING. With all the crazy stress on work and other aspects, it feels good to let out a hearty laugh.
6) CHIT-CHAT. Small conversations with friends can stimulate one's mind and further enforces friendship.
7) MARUJA RADIO. The sounds of Manila have never been so good.
8) INSTANT PANCIT CANTON. A habit I am now controlling, but a little "snap" won't hurt.
9) BOYS. Why is this at the bottom of my list?
10) PAD THAI. My comfort food. The smell, the taste, lovely!

And with that I am passing this meme to 10 other bloggers, namely:

* RIBBITICUS
* CHAS
* PAULIE
* GODDESS
* YURI
* MARTI
* DEMENTIA
* SCOTT
* TALAMASCA
* MIKHAEL

Happy meme-ing!

***************

GAME LIFE: DA MARUJA CODE UPDATE

To help you solve the secret message encoded in Da Maruja Code, I allign the letters in the cryptogram and provide several keys to the puzzle.

Again, the first to post the secret message in the comments section will be humbly recognized at the Recommendations section, which will run for four weeks.

Here is the secret message:

U MQIEH DY DNI KEA KYTM DNED TIRRUM DHUCCY UM TIWURUDICA RYD KEA. BUYCY UM.

Now, here are some of the keys to unlock the puzzle:

A = Y
B = P
U = I
E = A
K = G

Can you solve the secret message?

***************

RANDOM HOT MEN: MARC NELSON

I used to have a huge showbiz crush on Marc Nelson. When I used to work at a modelling agency, I often bump into him at several events projects, but I never managed to chat with him. Sigh...he's so dreamy.

***************

BOW DOWN AND WORSHIP MY FOOTNOTES

1) I would like to invite once again my fellow Thomasian bloggers to help me compile a directory of blogs wrtten by students, faculty, and alumni of UST. Send me an e-mail at empressmaruja@gmail.com containing your blog URL and course/major.

2) CELEBRITY BOO-BOO: "Can you repeat that for the second time around once more from the top?" -- Melanie Marquez

3) NOTE TO A CERTAIN NEPHTALINA: Courting a girl named Rica doesn't hide your fishy smell.

4) What?! My activeness in the Philippine Idol forums has caused certain people to supposedly "stalk" me...scary...

New Template, Same Old Imperial Fag

2006-05-20T01:07:00.000+08:00

BLOG LIFE: Turning Green For Now

Uy... (as I twiddle my fingers while waiting for the dial-up to load)

Uy!

That was my reaction when I saw my new template for the first time. With many thanks to Chas of Bend It Like A Banana, he put in this cute design (although this is similar to my friend The Goddess' site).

What I really love about my new design is the navigatible sidebar (and it's clean! CLEAN!).

However, this is just a temporary template. The new template is still being worked out and the first stumbling block Chas and I encountered is the header.

What image would best fit this site? I suggested a photo of Empress Dowager, but Chas thought it look too old for my persona. And then, just now, a eureka moment popped in my head.

I'm now searching for the appropriate images and will send it to Chas for editing. I promise...

It would be Amazing.

It would be Magical.

It would be Beautiful, like me.

So in the meantime, let's hold hands again in suspense.

***************

GEEK LIFE: Idol, I'm Your #1 Fans!

My Dad (who by now you know works in a major TV network) never understands my fanatical attitude towards certain TV shows. He would always say that I'm working in the Broadcasting Industry and screaming in delight or laughing whole-heartedly while watching my fave shows is a faux pas.

But what can I do? I grew up in a TV studio, I love watching TV and it's an added privelege that I now work in a TV show.

And my new-found fanaticism is starting to grow anew with the upcoming first season of Philippine Idol. I am so excited about this show, I started spreading the good news in different Filipino forums and fansite, sometimes acting like an advice columnist for those aspiring idols who ask about the audition phase of this competition.

So don't be surprised that within a few months my blog would be littered with Philippine Idol whatevers while babbling about my random lives.

***************

INTERMISSION NUMBER: Babae Po Ako (I'm A Girl, Not A Fag)

Your empress will take a break. In the meantime, here's a special production number. (applause)

***************

OPINIONATED LIFE: Da Vinci Coden't

The City of Manila has passed a resolution banning the showing of The Da Vinci Code within its city limits.

What kind of drastic effect that would do? Most of Manila's cinemas have turned into bathhouses anyway.

You know the TV network war is going bad when:

The two major networks have their own Mount Everest Climbing Team.

Don't get angry. That's just my imperial opinion.

***************

RANDOM HOT MEN: Romnick Perrea

A candidate of Face Of Basilica. Yum!

***************

BOW DOWN AND WORSHIP MY FOOTNOTE

I am working on a directory of blogs created by Thomasians. If you are an alumnus (or alumna) of The Royal and Pontifical University of Santo Tomas, send me an e-mail (empressmaruja@gmail.com) containing your blog title, blog URL, and course/major of blogger. Spread the good news!

Smacked Twice, Coded Twice, And Exorcised Twice

2006-05-14T01:10:00.000+08:00

THE EMPRESS GOT SMACKED

YoU probably have heard of I Talk Too Much, a collection of blog reviews. A month ago, I subMitted RLOEM for review and this Saturday morning, the critiQue for my site was published.

I know, I know I'm aware that the reviews were mostly on the negative side, that the reviewers would always look for the most vile and awful in one's blog and understating the positive. That some of the blog owners who received negative smacks either ended up raging in anger, threathening to sue the reviewers.

Does that make me stupid to throw my precious blog into a lion's den? I don't think so.

Does that make me too confident that I would get the highest rating of five smacks? NeIther.

I submitted my blog for three reasons: to increase readership, to see what to improve in my site, and to make a review of my own review.

So without further ado, here's the IT2M Review of The Random Lives Of Empress Maruja according to Merciless Minx:

Now, what's my review of the reviEw?

I'm Honestly puzzled as to why Filipino blogs have only been noticed this recent. Perhaps, since some of the Filipino bloggers who were reviewed live in foreign countries, the reviewers probably generalize them as Asian.

I like the fact that the strengths I'm expecting to get noticed in the review were prominently noted. However, I'm sad by the fact that the reviewer forgot to try my Maruja Radio.

I give the review TWO FINGER BANGS for being patient (and tolerant) enough to read through my posts.

I don't mind about the comments from those other readers. Kerr ko? Why should I kerr? They're not my target reaDers anywaY.

Reading through the review, what changes must this blog undergo?

Nothing much. For one, you can tell by now that I am using regular font size instead of embolDening it.

As for the template, a frieNd of mine offered his template-building skills to me and I only accepted his offer two days before the review was published. Since I have no idea what he would do, I guess we have to hold each other's hands In suspense.

***************

THE "BADING SI..." CODE

Comedian Joey De Leon wrote in his newspaper column about a checKlist/ blind item as to how to detEct if a male celebrity is a gay guy in hiding. He calls it "The Bading Si..." Code.

According to him, here Are the tell-tale signs:
* He has no Known girlfriend.
* He has a good-looking male driver.
* He is a CAL-boy, or he's into Cologne, Alcohol, and Lotion.
* He spraYs his car with cologne.
* He has a ski mask or a surgical mask inside his car.

I don'T know about the ski mask, but that's relatively logical. However, even using this checklist, I believe that nothing beats the good old-fashioned gaydar instincts that only the people of green-blood can possess.

Just by staring at the celebrity's eyes, I can tell that he's a "nephtalina" (Moth balls, since they best kept in the closet).

Here's a collection of photos of popular Filipino male celebrities (ranging from actors, singers, to reality show contestants). Just by looking at their eyes, which of them Do you think is gay? Take Note, there could be more than one of them.

***************

DA MARUJA CODE

And if that's not Enough (and in anticipation of the upcoming showing--or banning--of The Da Vinci Code here in the Philippines), I came up with my own set of cryptograph hiDden in this post. The first one to solve the code and post it in the comments section gets his or her site to be featured in Maruja Recommends, which will run for four weeks.

You have to find all the green letters in this post and arrange them from firsT letter to the last letter to fill out the following blanks:

* ***** ** *** *** **** **** ****** ****** ** *** ***. ***** **.

Using this cryptograph, solve for my secret message. It's not really that difficult. Besides, it's fun.

Here's a key: A = Y.

(NOTE TO READERS WITH NON-BLOGGER SITES: If you're attempting to solve the code, leave your blog URL along wIth your answer in the comments section.)

Are you ready?

**************

THE EXORCISM OF MARUJA ROSE

In recent days, your dear empRess had been quite unstable.

I'd been heaRing things in my mind that I would die.

BecaUse of this, I'd become afraid that anything I might do would be a premonition. I became afraid of hugging my Dad, thinking that it would be my last. I became afraid of saying goodbye, instead replacing it with "See you later" or "I'll be back."

Last Thursday, while watching TV, those crazy thoughts escalated in to crazy whispers that I would die the day after.

And since I just wanted to released that pent-up craziness, I told my sister about it.

She told me that I'M probably possessed. Possessed by the evil spirit of Maruja.

So she took a fan and started tapping on my body as she began her faux trance chants.

"I call upon the spirit of Maruja. Leave the body of my brother Kris. I banish you, in Jesus name! In Jesus name!"

She asked Maruja if it's still in my body. I giggleD.

"Oh no! That evil spirit is still there," my sister exclaimed and started exorcising me again.

(Don't worry. I've consulted some officemates and I realized that tHe thoughts were fueled out of my own made-up fears. In other words, I worried too mUch.)

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MARUJA RADIO VER.4.0: THE FUTURE SOUNDS OF MANILA

Maybe this is the reason why I was so Calm while reading my blog review.

I've updated Maruja Radio featuring songs from the country's newest artists (well, most of them anyway). Collectively, I believe these are the sounds that will populate the music mainstream in the Coming daYs.

The genres are so diverse this time from Bossa Nova (Sitti), Reggae (Brownman Revival), Jazz (Kala), AcoUstic (U-Turn), and Indie (Up DharMa Down).

This playlisT also features the hottest musIcal acts like Spongecola, Urbandub, and Rachelle Ann Go.

So press "play" while reading through my blog and listen to the future sounds of Manila.

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BOW DOWN AND WORSHIP MY FOOTNOTES

1) Check out the neWest blog featUred in MaRuja Recommends. Bend It Like A Banana features the life of a Filipino living in Norway. His posts are mostly fUnny and over-all interesting, equipped with a new and improveD easy-to-navigate template. So clIck on the sCreencap located at the sidebar. Now nA!

2) I'm planning to observe the proceedings of the Fast TRack auditions of Philippine Idol this MondaY. I want to see the panDemonium slowly being created. No, I have no ambition of auditioning. I'm no William Hung, and I'm no Taylor Hicks either. I thinK I would become so fanatical to this show, likE the time I used to post a lot about thAt celeBrity search StarStrUck.

3) Will somebodY in GMA-7 tell reporter MiChael Fajatin that his on-cam bloopers have alreadY become internet fodder? And since we all want a good laUgh, Might as well watch this clip.

The Wave And The Blossom

2006-05-09T19:21:00.000+08:00

KWYING A WAVE OF KOREAN TEARS

Oh no! I think I'm gonna "kwy" again...

GMA-7 has decided to re-broadcast (for the third time) Endless Love 1: Autumn In My Heart, the first Korean drama that became a huge hit in the Emerald Isles. This series is a heart-wrenching story of two siblings whose lives and fates become twisted after finding out that the sister was actually switched at birth.

CLICK HERE TO WATCH A CLIP

The first time I watched it, I cried. The show was just so...sad. My eyes let out a wave of tears over a man and a woman whose love is forbidden since their parents consider them as brother and sister.

It was then I realized, I became swayed by the Korean Wave. I became an addict for Korean dramas. I watched Endless Love 1 until its tragic end and anticipated for more. Perhaps it's because of the beautiful storylines, or the good-looking actors, or even its majestic cinematography (which completely pales in comparison to local dramas).

But overall, I think the plotlines in Korean dramas are parallel to the supposedly conservative Filipino culture and it possesses a universal appeal.

It's no wonder the Korean Wave is starting to spread across Asia and even North America with a deluge of Winter Sonata, All About Eve, Full House, Lovers In Paris, Jewel In The Palace among other Asian television greats.

But that does not mean the Filipinos are doing nothing about world domination.

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THE BLOSSOMING OF THE FILIPINO

There is more the Philippines can offer to the world aside from maids and caregivers.

"The Blossoming Of Maximo Oliveros" will have an Australian premiere in no less than the historic Sydney Opera House as part of The Message Sticks Indigenous Film Festival. It will be the first Filipino film to be shown in the art palace of Down Under.

Although I'm still saddened by the fact that the Philippines failed to submit an entry for Best Foreign-Language Film in this year's Academy Awards, I hope this simple, low-key, low-budget, low-tech of a film continues to warm the hearts of every viewer in every country.

Another Philippine pride is "The Promise," a drama series that was shown in ABS-CBN for two years (soap operas here used to last for years). This undying love story became a hit in South East Asia, even beating the highest ratings posted in Indonesia.

I personally think that in order the local TV dramas continue the tradition of international prominence The Promise has lead, networks should stop focusing on casting and instead focus on the story and technical aspects. It is undeniable that The Promise has one of the best cinematography in local TV history and I think it can be repeated. This also goes to the film producers who have yet to regain its once glorious reign.

On a peculiar side, did you know that a Filipino sex comedy "Liberated 2" actually premiered in Korea? One of the lead actress, Francine Prieto, apparently once worked as a sexy model in the Peninsula, appearing as a cover girl in Korea's FHM Magazine.

The Filipino Blossoming is slowly taking form. However, most producers are adamant in going international. I say, the international market is actually a bigger market.

I wonder what they are afraid of...

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RANDOM HOT MEN #4: JON MULLALLY

Half-Filipino, half-Briton, all manly. This hottie recently won in a spokesperson competition for Century Tuna. The photo (courtesy of MabuhayBeauties.com) was taken during his appearance at last year's Bachelor Bash organized by Cosmopolitan Magazine.

Drool, sisters, drool...

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BOW DOWN AND WORSHIP MY FOOTNOTES

1) Coming next week, I'll be featuring a new site in Maruja Recommends. Will it be your blog?

2) I found out that Hong Kong superstar Stephen Chow (of Shaolin Soccer and Kung Fu Hustle fame) recently endorsed Philippines' pride San Miguel Beer. The TV commercial was shown in China and Hong Kong. Check out the video below (although you have to squint your eyes a bit for the subtitles).

3) LESSON FOR TODAY: In the world of entertainment and media, charm is your best weapon.

Dealing With Harassment/ Maruja, Defender Of The Great Brown Race

2006-05-05T18:54:00.000+08:00

HANDLING SEXUAL HARRASSMENT

How should a queer queen like me handle certain situations I felt violated?

Last Wednesday, while typing a script (or pretend to type a script), one of our technical crew lounged in our production room while waiting for the video clips to render in the editing room. He then stretch as if yawning and exclaimed that his tool is so hard.

He asked if it's a good thing. In jest, I just said, "It might burst."

But he didn't stop and commented that I'm probably good for ass-borking.

THAT'S IT!

Although pretending to be one of the boys, I let out the crispiest cuss imaginable. It sounded like, "Put Tang in a mow."

We both laughed to hide the brewing tension. He should be.

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LIFE IS SOOOOOO NOT FAIR!!!

Why do some people (like Gengki) are so lucky to have this?

While I have to settle for this?

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THE MOST INTELLIGENT WAY TO EAT

When I first heard about this news, I thought it was a hoax just like Mariah Carey lambasting Regine Velasquez as "a brown monkey who can sing."

But it is as true as the rising price of oil, a 7-year-old Filipino boy in Canada was being disciplined by the school monitor just because he eats his lunch in a Filipino manner: with a fork and spoon.

And what's infuriating is the principal's statement to the complaining mother: that since they are in Canada, they should eat how Canadians eat (with just a fork).

That comment was just sick. It reeks of alienation and outright ignorance. I thought Canada is supposed to be a country that embraces cultural diversity? Should the school monitor also reprimand Chinese students from eating with chopsticks, calling it dirty and yucky? How about certain students who eat with just a spoon, would they be called pigs?

Well, sorry for those fork-sticking Canadians, but eating with only a fork is stupid and dumb. For one, scooping rice (the loose one, mind you) with a fork would only result to utter mess since most of the rice grains would just fall off spaces between the tinders. And don't get me started with using the fork in eating soup.

Eating the Filipino way is the most intelligent way to eat. You pick a piece of meat with a fork and eat it, then scoop some rice using a spoon and use the fork to sweep the loose grains onto the spoon. Not much of a mess.

Arrrgh, enough of the ranting for now. This argument would not end here, I'm sure of it.

But the bottom line is that the school monitor and the principal were disrespectful and disregarding of other people's cultures. That in itself is not educational.

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"FILIPINO" IS NOT A BAD WORD

This leads to another issue concerning the Great Brown Race. I remember Donita Rose, former MTV Asia VJ, told a personal account while riding a taxi around Singapore. The cab driver asked her what ethnicity she was, she proudly stated that she was Filipino (Filipino-American to be exact). The cabbie was stunned.

"You're not Filipino," the driver exclaimed. "That's impossible."

Probably the driver thought that all Filipinos look like this.

On another note, a local celebrity and her entourage visited Australia several years ago. She then went into a restaurant for lunch. Upon learning that she and her companions are Filipino, the restaurant staff suddenly put out a spray bottle and started squirting disinfectant to them.

What's so wrong about the word "Filipino"? Better yet, what's wrong with being Filipino anyway?

Dog eaters? The French eat pig brains. Americans eat bull's testicles. Japanese eat raw food.

Maids? So are the Sri Lankans, Chinese, Indonesians, and yes, even French.

Uneducated? We are a nation of writers, educators, inventors, businessmen, statesmen, diplomats, artists, and all other jobs the first-world occupy.

Whores? What's wrong with our innate exotic beauty?

Nothing belittles us Filipinos. We have toppled presidents in peaceful revolutions while America does not have a female president yet.

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RANDOM HOT MEN #3: MIKE TAN

Teen star Mike Tan goes shirtless for the first time just for X-Ray Magazine.

Do you think you are hot enough? Why don't you submit a photo showing off your hot body worthy of a god to empressmaruja@gmail.com

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BOW DOWN AND WORSHIP MY FOOTNOTES:

I updated Maruja Radio with new tracks from Zsa Zsa Padilla and Itchyworms. I Hope you like it!

Grenn Pess and Philippine Idol Updates

2006-05-02T00:47:00.000+08:00

GRENN PESS

I received a text message from a colleague inviting me for a writing job at a low-budget afternoon variety show. It sounds pretty tempting, considering that people behind variety shows are paid on a daily basis.

But after deep thoughts and evening coffees, I decided to turn down the offer. Considering that the show is low-budgeted, I fear that I might be paid in sponsor products, particularly in bags of green peas.

Or as the show's main host would say, "Grenn Pess."

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PHILIPPINE IDOL UPDATES

No, I'm not talking about this Philippine Idol. Gosh, what gall for him to call himself such?

I'm talking about THE Philippine Idol, the Philippine franchise of worldwide phenomenon Pop Idol, and it is starting to create a wave of curiosity among potential auditioneers and fans as well. A lot of news have been circulating over the past weeks, and so far, here are the updates, speculations, and rumors about the country's version of American Idol...

1) The show will have three judges and two hosts. One music icon has been confirmed to sit as one of the judges. Ryan Cayabyab is one of the most popular composers in the Philippines. His works include pop songs, film scores, even full-length ballets. Mr. Cayabyab is a respected figure in the music industry and he will definitely make the viewers listen to his criticisms and admirations on the contestants. Before the auditions are barely starting, he has been labelled as the Randy Jackson among the three judges.

2) Another names that has been confirmed to become part of Philippine Idol is Ryan Agoncillo. This TV host has had a string of successful shows and has been known in the entertainment circuit for having a great command on-cam. This is definitely his biggest break so far, adding to a string of successful shows he hosted. Although contrary to certain naysayers, I don't think he would become a Ryan Seacrest clone.

3) Now, will there be a Simon Cowell-type judge in Philippine Idol. Most likely...not. The masses would consider such behavior as "bastos" (rude).

4) But what is this I am hearing? Rumors have been spreading that another TV network wants to enter the picture. ABS-CBN 2, the country's largest network (although I would like to add that it currently holds a dismaying #2 spot in Metro Manila ratings), is said to have been negotiating to ABC 5 (currently a #3 network and the holder of the Philippine Idol franchise) for a co-production of Philippine Idol. It may sound as a good juicy offer, but considering ABS-CBN's history when it comes to business deals, I hope ABC would not take the bait. ABS-CBN denies the report...yeah right.

How will Philippine Idol fare with so many singing competitions on Philippine TV? Let's wait and see.

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MARUJA SPREADING THE INSPIRATION

I realized that this blog has not only become my avenue of thoughts, ramblings, and what-nots, it also has become a source of inspiration from other bloggers as well.

My post about my sad experience with a film company was featured in Torn and Frayed, a blog about two foreign journalists covering beats in the Philippines. Torn has expressed his sympathy over moi and his take on the issue of a "potential" plagiarism. It was very well said.

That post also inspired another blogger, Asiatic Neil, to share a similar story in the comments section. A schoolmate of his entered a local scriptwriting conference and won second place. His screenplay was about a fantasy world of warrior fairies. He was shocked to see months later that his concept became a reality, in the form of a TV series bearing the title of his script, Encantadia. He was silent upon witnessing it and was mum about it for months until the writer showed his proofs to Asiatic Neil that Encantadia was plagizrized from his work, from the script, to the names of the characters, even the map of Encantadia which the writer himself painted. And in what I think as his way of avenging, he now works at another TV network.

Upon reading the story, only one question surfaced on my head: "Why didn't he sue?" I guess the answer is all up to him.

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RANDOM HOT GUY #2: CODENAME "HE"

I have no idea who he is. But then again, would that be important?

If you think you got what it takes to be featured in Random Hot Guys, just send me your photo showing off your hot body for us to worship through my e-mail address empressmaruja@gmail.com.

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BOW DOWN AND WORSHIP MY FOOTNOTES

1) As you may have seen, I have added a new feature at the sidebar replacing my blog renter. Maruja Recommends features blogs that I actually read and admire. Our buena mano is no other than Tenchu. Do check him out, it's worth it. If you want your blog to be recommended by no less than the empress, please leave a comment on my site so I could check your site out.

2) CELEBRITY BOO-BOO: "I would like to thank everyone who buyed my album." --Yasmien Kurdi

3) De La Salle University has been suspended for one season in all sports in this year's University Athletics Association of the Philippines (UAAP) after finding out that two of their basketball players have faked their high school credentials to be in the team. As a protest, DLSU is mulling on a possibility of pulling out of UAAP. I say, cheer up Green Archers! There's always next year. To boost your school's morale further, what better way to do it than with your own pep squad. Let's hear it!

4) UPDATE: Check out my latest additions in Maruja Radio. I wish to spread fun and happiness, so I decided to put on some commercial jingles, TV soundtracks, and several spoof songs. Put a smile on your face...make the world a better place. Sumusunod...sa galaw mo, sumusunod...sa galaw mo.

Enchanting Notes And A Call For Protest

2006-04-25T17:59:00.000+08:00

NOTES FROM THE ENCHANTED KINGDOM

My ears apparently are failing me. I thought Enchanted Kingdom's newest attraction is a train ride, I realized when our production team got to the theme park that it is an all-terrain vehicle ride.

On its first day, Exodus The Ride was sampled by a select number of press people and several cast members from the movie Exodus.

Among those celebrities was Iya Villania whom I got to interview about her first-time experience with riding an all-terrain vehicle (and practically her first time ever to drive a vehicle).

This was my second time interviewing her, and I gotta say she's more beautiful in person.

Nakakalalake siya. (She makes a man out of me.)

What did I just say? Ewww...ew ew ew ew ew!

I need a little distraction...

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MARUJA'S RANDOM MEN #1: CB

You heard that right! Maruja's Hot Men is now revitalized with photos of hot men from all over. I realized that if I post every single hot celebrity in this blog, I might ran out of them in weeks. Besides, wouldn't it be nice to ogle on non-celebrities this time?

So with the help of my mighty fingers, I managed to search for hot non-nude photos of guys on the Net and I stumbled into this Filipino guy nicknamed CB. He is uber-obssessed with bodybuilding, lifting weights 6 times a week. Well, isn't it obvious.

Let's start drooling, sisters!

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A CALL FOR BOYCOTT OF CALLBOYS

In recent times, there has been a rise of heinous crimes against gay men here in Manila. By now, you are aware that my best friend was a victim of such.

But unlike Larra, two consecutive murders involving four victims have occurred during recent weeks, one of which was a popular designer. According to police reports, the serial killers are most likely a pair of guys who guise themselves as male prostitutes who prey on helpless gays and rob them off their belongings.

Now, more than ever, I call on my green-blooded sisters to protest this senseless crimes. I petition to boycott all callboys and male prostitutes until these killers are caught and put behind bars.

All together now...

CALLBOY BOYKOTIN! CALLBOY BOYKOTIN!

SAVE THE JOKLA! SAVE THE JOKLA!

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BOW DOWN AND WORSHIP MY FOOTNOTES

1) This week will be busy for me as I will have consecutive segment shoots for our TV show. My plan replacing the blog renter may take a while, so please be patient.

2) As Scott suggested to me, I am beginning to contemplate on putting blogads for my site. What do you guys think?

3) I tried some rides in Enchanted Kingdom, and all I can say is...

Space Shuttle, you are a curse! Hehehe! That was thrilling.

3) Sorry Iya...

I choose to be beautiful, like these guys.

The 100th Post

2006-04-22T08:47:00.000+08:00

This is my 100th post. I was saving this moment for some great momentous blogging, but alas, all I have are these...

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THE EARLY BIRDIE

I have a shoot today at Enchanted Kingdom as they are unveiling new attractions, particularly a train ride inspired from Exodus, the movie they produced last Christmas, and an early evening parade. Yup, the theme park's beginning to become Disney-eque.

I was informed that the pull-out (meaning the time we are supposed to leave) was at 7 a.m. So, being aware of my constant tardiness, rushed into the bathroom, put on some clothes, took an early bus, and was startled once I got into the office.

No one was there. Well, almost.

Our executive producer was about to leave the office when she spotted me. "Didn't the production manager tell you that the pull out was reset to 1 p.m.?"

I was dumbfounded. "She didn't inform me," I said.

So I have to wait for 6 long hours in the office watching local TV, play spider solitaire, and trying to finish this blog on time (as if 6 hours are not enough).

Where's my worm?...

My technical production assistant just arrived. "Am I late," he asked.

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PARIS UPDATE

Meanwhile, I was informed that I Love Paris will not be given the green light, so at least that's a sigh of relief for now.

After researching through the net, I learned that the I Love Paris was planned since February, with a different love team as lead. Catch is, it was only a concept of making a movie set in Paris using a tentative title of I Love Paris.

However, my co-writer and I created a storyline that is set in Paris, unaware then of the previous plan.

So if the film company would change its mind and starts with shooting for I Love Paris, I hope it doesn't involve anything our storyline contains.

This serves as a reminder to all aspiring writers (if there are some who lurk in my blog) to copyright your works. I have learned my lesson, but that doesn't mean I would stop pursuing a career in screenwriting. I'll just be more careful this time.

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I DREAM OF YOU (AN OPEN LETTER TO M)

I used to say that whenever I dream of a certain person, he or she would most likely dream of me also.

Well, I dream of you, again.

The situation was quite peculiar. We were in a cafeteria. I was ordering for my food when I looked back and saw you on a table, alone.

You seemed to have changed since the last time I saw you. You looked dapper in your pinstripe folded long-sleeved shirt, while I...well, I was wearing my military training uniform I used back in freshman year. Only that the beret was red.

Seeing you was both a joy and a pain. I wanted to smile and say hi, but was afraid you wouldn't notice me.

And my fears won over. I tried to cover myself as I walked past you. Seems like I haven't changed.

I looked back and saw you again. With your new look, I thought you have moved on, and I'm glad for that.

Don't worry about me. I've always been this silly. I couldn't take off my old military training uniform, and I guess I would still be wearing that in my dreams for days, perhaps years, to come.

But what if we do meet each other again? Would you smile for me? I would try. Would you say hi to me? I would probably smile. Would you come near me? I would probably wait for you to come near me. If not, I would just bow my head and walk away.

You probably have moved on.

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MARUJA'S HOT MEN #5: JAKE CUENCA

Jake Cuenca appears on the cover of the latest issue of X-Ray Magazine. Also featured in the magazine are Alfred Vargas, Arthur Solinap, Justin Cuyugan, Mike Tan, Biboy Ramirez, and Kris Martinez. Available in the Philippines for P380. Where's my salary when I need it most? Grrr...

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BOW DOWN AND WORSHIP MY FOOTNOTES

1) As you can see by now, I have eliminated some links at the sidebar. I just discovered that some of the links are not functioning, and I wanted to feature sites that I actually read. Will update the sidebar with new sites in the coming days.

2) I'm planning to replace my blog renter with something more substantial. In the meantime, don't forget to post a comment or send me an e-mail about my latest posts. Who knows? Baka ikaw ang buena mano.

Concept Stealer/ Dis Is Taglish/ Hot Rafael

2006-04-20T01:18:00.000+08:00

THE CONCEPT STEALER

I usually don't get mad in my blog, but this time I'm on a verge of being furious.

You see, I became a victim of a vicious monster in the showbiz industry called The Concept Stealer.

First, let me share you an excerpt from "Trip To Quiapo," a scriptwriting manual by renowned Filipino screenwriter Ricky Lee:

"Nothing protects (the screenwriter) no matter how long you've been working in the industry or how expansive your network is. Everything that a novice writer experiences had happened and continues to happen on me. I was dropped from a project in exchange of another writer without my knowledge, a producer changed my script without my permission, The director suddenly shot a different project, leaving my script to the bin."

Concept Stealers do nothing but claim another writer's concept for their own credit. Before you know it, your story is being filmed without compensated, or even acknowledged.

That happened to me just now.

Let's call my storyline "Project Paris." It is a love story about a popular model and a shy photographer whose paths are crossed after an accident.

A fellow writer and I developed the storyline (complete with casting for lead actor and actress) the night before our what-would-become the final presentation with a film company. We had to spend the night at an apartelle because we were developing ten concepts that night.

We presented Project Paris to an immediate superior (a screenwriter, let's call her Aqua). She gave it a thumbs down, but considered some of our other concepts which she would pitch to the executive producer.

To make the long story short, we were not accepted in the film outfit because we did not have an approved concept after a month of trial. But yesterday, my co-writer in Project Paris informed me of a very bad news.

It was published in a newspaper that the film outfit where Aqua is working for is planning to shoot a movie entitled "I Love Paris," with the same actors we pitched as the lead pair.

I did not believe at first. I tried to reason out that it could probably one of Aqua's storyline that is supposed to be shot in Venice, but changed location at the very last minute.

I asked Aqua in a chatroom about this and claimed that she knew nothing about this. I told her that I would present my concepts to other producers, including Project Paris.

Aqua seemed to have forgotten that not all writers are meek in the event of having their precious concepts stolen so suddenly. What she did has opened the gates to her hell.

I'm still sticking my guns to the storyline of my beloved Project Paris. Hopefully other producers would like it.

And I hope Aqua starts to think deeply in creating her own storyline for "I Love Paris," because if she writes the script for it using our storyline, ...she'll see.

Now, repeat after me: Don't get mad, ...

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DIS IS TAGLISH

We Filipinos are proud of our English proficiency, considering that Brownlandia was once upon a time an American colony. But that pride would soon be laughed at.

In a recent Social Weather Station survey, only 65 percent of Filipino adults said they understand spoken English as compared to 74 percent 12 years ago. What's worse is that, according to that same study, only three out of ten Filipinos could speak English today.

English proficiency is supposed to be the Philippines' key competitive advantages in the global market. However, English is not much practiced in school ever since this universal language was scrapped as a medium of education in favor of Tagalog-based Filipino language (no thanks to those misguided nationalists who believe that speaking the mother tongue is the only ticket to nationalism). Such stupid mandate, and since non-Tagalog speaking students had difficulty adapting to the national language, paved the way for schools to adapt what we call "Taglish."

Heto ang example ng Taglish. Ipinag-mix ang English at Tagalog kaya instead na naging proficient ang mga Pinoy sa Filipino, struggling tuloy sila sa parehong language. Hirap mag-English, and having difficulty rin sa Filipino.

Now, our neighboring countries are beginning to improve their English proficiency at a very fast rate, since it is the language of cyberspace and international business. And what of us? If the government does not act quickly, they would kiss those outsourcing call centers goodbye.

I'm not saying to eliminate the use of Filipino. That is not the case. What we need is to encourage bilingualism, standardize the Filipino language, and develop the local languages.

I used to tell my Dad that if the whole of China learns to speak English, our overseas labor force--and probably the whole Philippines--is done for.

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MARUJA'S HOT MEN #4: RAFAEL ROSELL

Summer's gonna be hot hot hotter with Rafael Rosell. Ouch! My fingers got burnt!

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BOW DOWN AND WORSHIP MY FOOTNOTES

1) Thank you so much for your the great e-mails I've been receiving, especially to a new-found blogging friend Scott of Crazy Jungle. Check out his site, which presents life in Costa Rica.

2) As you can see, Maruja Radio playlist has been updated again. Press play for the hottest summer tracks, perfect during long hours of driving or having a production number by the beach.

3) How I wish I could go out some more and mingle with new guys. If only my salary is paid regularly...

Post-Easter Fun

2006-04-17T00:52:00.000+08:00

BACK TO NORMAL

The four-day weekend (also known as Holy Week) has ended and its back to life as we know it. Back to politicking, back to traffic, back to rampant crimes, back to work. How I wish everyday is a Holy Day here in the Philippines, commemorating Jesus' death every Friday, waving palm fronds every Sunday, so we won't have to worry much about politics and crime that litter in this part of Southeast Asia.

But what's better is that it's back to normal blogging of your dear empress, that's a good thing Filipinos should be proud of.

Here in the Philippines, Holy Week is equivalent to American Spring Break. I know, I know that statement would raise some eyebrows, but the throngs of visitors to the sunny beaches of Boracay and Subic during this weekend are so undeniable. Tell me, how many of you attended the Pasyon these past days? I didn't.

While my Dad and younger brother went to Pampanga to attend a birthday party, and my younger sister went to Subic with her boyfriend, I was left here at home reading books and playing PS2.

I became the household's designated security guard. How degrading for an empress.

Now that they're all back for Easter, it's my turn to go out starting today (Monday). I'm also in need of some summer fun, of course.

I'm planning to watch a local movie titled Moments Of Love, which is a mish-mash between Somewhere In Time, Frequency, and two Korean movies. It's about a guy from the present and a girl from the past communicating through the means of an old rotary phone. I've heard that the movie is great, never mind if the plot's taken from certain foreign movies. After all, ALL movies have similar plots anyway.

So how did you spend this weekend?

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SPOOF ADVERTISEMENTS, FILIPINO STYLE

You have probably heard of commercial spoofs, more notably on Saturday Night Live. Here in the Philippines, spoof advertisements are the highlight of comedy shows, most notably on Bubble Gang.

What makes Filipino ad spoofs unique is that we don't have to invent a product, we spoof an actual product.

In fact, companies would pay huge amounts just for their products to be spoofed.

I wanna illustrate an example. Here's an actual commercial of Pop Cola, a popular soda brand. The story is about a woman who is coming home from a very long journey.

Here is an actual spoof of Pop Pola, as seen in Bubble Gang. To understand the punchline, just listen to the last line the "daughter" would say here.

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MARUJA'S HOT MEN #3: RYAN EIGENMANN

He has got to be one of my favorite local actors, and one of the underrated in my opinion. I actually watched his debut movie (Gangland), which he played a street gang leader. Now, this bad boy has become badder as he posed for the first issue of X-Ray Magazine. Drool and enjoy.

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BOW DOWN AND WORSHIP MY FOOTNOTES

1) THE TRIBE HAS SPOKEN. Yup, I'm out of the film project. No, I'm not sad about it, considering the people that firm tried to retain. This means that I'm concentrating on my TV job once more, although how I wish our producer would not delay our salaries (and end up earning only an episode's worth every month...grrrr).

2) Just downloaded the forms need to join a nationwide literary competition. This would be my third time to join, and hopefully I'd win this time. Crossing my fingers (and toes) on that.

3) Your empress is, technically, sick. I'm suffering from tinnitus, a constant buzzing in my right ear. I've researched about it and found out that it's because of my cerebral aneurysm. Sigh...what a bad time to get sick.

Headlines, Judas, and Arthur (UPDATED)

2006-04-11T21:47:00.000+08:00

UPDATE: In observance of the Holy Week, your empress will take a break for Maundy Thursday, Good Friday, and Black Saturday. Regular blogging will return on Easter Sunday with revision of maruja radio playlist and certain random lives.

In the meantime, do feel free to browse around my blog, press play on maruja radio for the freshest Filipino tracks, and also check out my latest tenant, Full Metal Photographer. This is the photo blog of Full Metal Attorney, a heavy-metal loving, anime-adoring law student from Nebraska. This photo site features his attempts at amateur photography, which he takes as a hobby. His photos are great, I'm still browsing at it as I type this update. I'm sure you'll love his photos as well, and do check out his blog as well.

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THE PINOY WDP HEADLINES

If you happen to live in the Philippines for the very first time, chances are reading the local newspapers could take you a bit squirmish.

No, it's not because the local press would tend to treat heinous crimes with front-page caliber. It's not because they put showbiz news on centerfold.

Just look at the headlines.

The Philippine press is known to use terms that only Filipinos (and their tongue-in-cheek humor) could understand, not to mention to save space.

I have today's edition of The Philippine Star and its littered with a bunch of headlines that foreign readers
would say "Wat Da Pak?"

JDV: 'Pork' restored, not padded

For the untrained reader, you would think that the country's holy man insists that the holy pork has been restored to its original shrine of worship and not a imitation consisting of padded styrofoam, especially that the Holy Week is nearing.

Filipino press have a penchant of using initials of prominent names. For instance, our current president is known by her initials GMA (Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo), while Pope John Paul II is headlined as Pope JP2.

In this case, JDV stands for House Speaker Jose De Venecia, who clarified that the 20-million peso "pork barrel" (fat funds that politicians here use to fund their projects, and make them rich at the same time) pad for congressmen only restored what was slashed from their allocation last year.

This alone is an obvious reason why my country never goes anywhere. Politicans here are so concerned over their earnings...I mean, their fundings.

How about this headline...

Labor group calls for Cha-cha debate.

We Filipinos are crazy. Why would we want to debate about a Latin dance?

Not really. Cha-cha means "charter change" or moves to amend the decade-old constitution. I for one would want the government to amend the constitution, but knowing the politicians here, such amendments
would tend to sway in their favor and interest.

'Batas an 5' ask DOJ to dismiss rebellion case

Robot-superhero team "Batasan 5" accused of rebellion? Why?

The "Batasan 5" are actually five congressmen housed in their own offices for fear that they would be arrested for rebellion if they step out of the Congress building.

This style also applies to the "Hyatt 10," "Big 3," and "10-17."

I'll leave this final headline to you...

House leaders still eyeing con-ass -- Jaraula

Wat Da Pak?

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GOD KNOWS HUDAS NOT PAY

All members of the imperial household gathered round last Sunday to watch National Geographic's documentary about The Gospel Of Judas.

Ah, nothing like good old Sunday family gatherings. We sacrificed not watching the monthly finals of Shall We Dance (our country's spin-off of Dancing With The Stars, which my Venezuelan chatmate Luis abhors) only to see for ourselves what the fuss is all about the newly-discovered Gnostic document that was supposed to shake one's faith.

Among the country's Catholic majority, Judas (or Hudas in local vernacular) is not only considered the traitor of Jesus, but also a butt of jokes. It is not uncommon to see jeepneys plying around the metro with a sign bearing the words, "God knows Hudas not pay" (God knows who does not pay).

And now that Easter is nearing, Judas will play a major role in Pampanga Province, the country's cradle of
the Catholic faith (and my mom's home province). Aside from parades of men flagellating themselves on their backs and actual crucifixions, Pampanga is known to highlight Easter with a doll resembling Judas--always painted red--twirl around a pole fronting the church and explode with hundreds of firecrackers wrapped around its belt.

But among a select group of early Christians, Judas is not a traitor.

He actually did Jesus a favor.

The gospel contains what was stated as a secret conversation between Jesus and Judas days before "The Betrayal. What was startling was that, according to the text, Jesus said to Judas: "You shall be cursed for generations, (but) you will come to rule over them," and that "You will exceed all of them. For you will sacrifice the man that clothes me."

The writers of this document (since it was certainly not Judas Iscariot) believe that Judas was the most favored among Jesus' disciples and that he made Jesus a favor by liberating Him from the flesh.

After watching the documentary, my little brother commented, "I thought it was something so shocking."

I guess his faith was not shaken.

As for me, I think the document complemented the four Gospels that we have accustomed to. It can be said that Jesus was already aware of Judas' betrayal and that He understood its impact in generations to come.

For one, His life became a stepping stone of a major religion in the world.

Through this document, we have heard another side of the story of Jesus.

But Judas is still Judas. Hero or traitor, it all boils down on what to believe.

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MARUJA'S HOT MEN #2: ARTHUR SOLINAP

Here's a hot photo of Philippine actor Arthur Solinap (who plays Moros in Encantadia). This is one of many steamy male photos that will be shown in the upcoming issue of X-Ray Magazine. I better save up for that one.

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MARUJA RADIO 2.0: TAKE YOUR PICK

New on Maruja Radio. I have concocted of a playlist consisting of the Brownlandia's hottest tracks from different music genres. Please leave a comment of your best and worst picks.

I'll be detailing the songs in my next post.

So what yah waiting for? Christmas? Passover? Election? Take your pick now.

Opiated Sherpa/ Get This Party Started!/ Maruja's Hot Men

2006-04-07T01:36:00.000+08:00

I was supposed to do a marathon of revisions in my blog (including a game involving my maruja radio), but since I'm using a dial-up connection (prehistoric at 45 kbps that repeatedly gets disconnected...stupid i-republic prepaid) it would be better if I'll do some of those at a later date.

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THE OPIATED SHERPA

Meet my current blog renter. Tales of the Opiated Sherpa is a journal of a hockey-loving Canadian that tells his life as it is. No histrionics, no literary allusions, just a life that is interesting. So if you love, if you really love me, you would not mind clicking on the screenshot, would yah?

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I'M THROWING OUT A PARTY!

I'm starting a conga line and dance for joy!

Because finally, after eight months, the primary suspect for the murder of my friend Larra has been caught!

Fiesta!

Start slaughtering the pig!

Or better yet, let's slaughter chickens instead. They're cheaper!

Okay, before I get carried away. Here's the rundown.

Last August, all of us in Kids TV were stunned to learn that our then-head writer Larra was stabbed to death by an unidentified killer. This was also the same month when I started blogging.

The investigators were facing a blank wall since they have no leads towards a suspect. (Investigators here alway fumble at evidence findings, so don't expect a CSI: Manila here.)

The only evidence that has a potential in pinning the killer was not found at the crime scene. (I told you this is not CSI: Manila) It was mailed several days later.

It was Larra's mobile phone bill, the unit of which was stolen by the assailant.

The investigators found out that the cellphone was still being used and it was dialing a certain phone number most of the time.

To make the long story short, the investigators have concluded that the suspect lent the stolen phone to his niece who in turn had a phonepal whom she dialled constantly. It was through this phonepal that the investigators were able to trace back to the suspect.

At the same time, one of the three accomplices surrendered to authorities, claiming that his conscience had been bothering him. In his statement, there were four of them who visited Larra's apartment. He was the one remained outside while the other three entered. One of their companions, Rolly, a tricycle driver, asked Larra for some money. Larra said that he does not have any.

So Rolly took out a knife, had his companions hold Larra's arms, and began stabbing him.

Days after his face was featured in the evening news, Rolly was captured in Cebu.

He insisted that he was innocent.

Innocent, my S...

Wanna have some roast chicken?

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MARUJA'S HOT MEN

Here's one of the added bonus in my blog starting today. Every post features photos of a particular hot guy I receive through my e-mail (special thanks to truebluegay yahoogroup).

My first Hot Man is Victor Basa, a well-known model here in the Philippines.

Start salivating...

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BOW DOWN AND WORSHIP MY FOOTNOTES

1) Kids TV just had a shooting last Tuesday in Corregidor Island, a prominent World War 2 battle ground, and I joined with them for the first time since I become absentia during Saturday shoots. It was a lot of fun venturing through the ruins of former Fort Mills and our kiddie hosts learned a lot about World War 2 history and the importance of the Philippines during that momentous event.

2) I'm contemplating on getting a part-time job in a call center, a career I honestly resented at first. What made me swallow my pride? Monetary, of course. I won't be hypocritical about it. I want to pay the house bills and let my dad spend his salary on mahjong. What do you think?

3) God, give me a love life.

LAAAAAB And Other Highs

2006-04-01T22:55:00.000+08:00

THIS MUST BE LAAAAAB!

Success!

It feels good that after months of preparation, frustration, and anticipation, you witness the fruits of your hard labor being seen on the big stage.

Last Sunday, a collection of five plays--including mine--was presented as the culminating event of our theater organization Artistang Artlets' 25th Anniversary. The official theater guild of Faculty of Arts and Letters in University of Santo Tomas presented the love-themed plays in a collective title "THIS MUST BE LAAAAAB!"

My script was the first in line. "Si Jewel At Ang Kanyang Dalawang..." (Jewel And Her Two...) tells the story of Joel, a gay student who goes by the name Jewel, who falls in love with a college heartthrob Edward. Trouble lies in Jewel himself, since his thoughts are being challenged by two contrasting "consciences."

Years pass by and Jewel's feelings for Edward have diminished because of certain conflicts, but he realizes too late that all along, Edward harbors deep romantic feeling for him as well. Jewel now must make up for the lost years of miscommunication, but at what cost?

I managed to take some pictures of the presentation, although it was against theater rules. Well, I don't want this once-in-a-lifetime event only be stored in memory.

Also in the presentation is "Memorandum Of Agreement" by fellow alumni (and blogger) Geng. It is a reunion gone bad. Really bad.

Arlene (the pregnant woman in red) realizes that his fiance has been keeping a homosexual relationship with their common friend Cromwell (played by fellow alumni and blogger Paulie).

And with all the complexities in their relationship, and as to who would keep the baby-to-be, the group creates a memorandum of agreement that Chickie (the other girl in the play) would take care of the baby.

(I personally think that this is the best script, but mine is the best play, kidding. This is not a competition, anyway.)

Third in line is "Abuloy" (Offering) directed by photo-blogger Rain, in which Geng played the lead role. It is about a woman who receives help from a mysterious man in order to pay anough money to release his dead husband's body from the cudgels of the funeral parlor.

What they do is they bring out the mystery man's "brother's body" and roam it around different villages as a front for illegal gambling (a classic Filipino tradition).

(Sorry Geng if I don't have enough photos for Abuloy. Most of them are blurred.)

Next is "Baraha" (The Cards), which is about a fortune-teller in her late 30s who tries to manipulate the predictions she makes for her love interest Emil, a policeman who is a skeptic in love.

The play is set in Quiapo, where you can find a horde of fortune-tellers and an array of quirky personalities.

Last is "Bilisan Mo" (Make It Faster), a flashback of the loves and lives of a clinic attendant who has difficulty finding the right guy for her.

And when she finally finds the one, she is the one who lets go.

Boy, it was fun! We were happy on the audience's reception of the five plays. Their laughters and applause are proof that we did a great job.

POSTSCRIPT: Reading my playwright's note today, I find it lacking that I failed to express my appreciation to the people behind my play.

To director Jon, I truly thank you for bringing my play into life. Actually, it is more than alive. What was intended as a simple "fictitious anecdote" becomes a struggle of a gay man's psyche. Your creative interpretation was well-received by the audience, and with that, I thank you and your wisdom.

To the cast (Stephen, Gret, Fudz, and Tope), thank you guys for giving justice to the challenging roles of Jewel, Segunda, Una, and Edward. I know portraying the characters were too physical and tiring, but you guys still managed to end the play with beating a sweat.

Stephen, I heard that you had most of your body waxed to personify Jewel. I hope it was not too painful (which I doubt). Gret, your talent stands out but does nto upstage your fellow actors. You are the perfect actor for Segunda. Fudz, I've heard that you and Stephen had to go a "gay" workshop in order to move and talk like a gay person. I wonder how hard it was? Tope, the incoming Artistic Director, your performance was delivered smoothly and superbly. I admire your concern to justify Edward's role, and I hope you and the rest of the incoming officers of AA would continue the tradition of theater and camaraderie, and inculcate the minds of future members to keep the AA flame burning even as far as its 50th year. Thank you all.

To Jewel's artistic group, thank you for infusing your talents with my play through on-time musical scores and sound effects. The audience and I truly appreciate it.

Lastly, to AA. Thank you for acknowledging my writing talents. Thank you for providing me shelter in my college days and shower me with friendship and camaraderie. I am truly proud that I am an AA member, and I am looking forward for our 50th Anniversary Presentation.

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BOW DOWN AND WORSHIP MY FOOTNOTES

1) My dad let out this quote last Friday while confiding to him about my film project:

"My son, your fate is trying to bring you to America, but you are trying to make your own fate with no avail."

I thought it was funny. That's why I'm sharing it to you. As about my status, well, let's just say that I survived another week. I am not yet eliminated.

2) SHAMELESS PROMOTION: Yezzz! The hair-teasing, nail-clipping parlorista-ng-bayan-superheroine isBACK!!! ZSAZSA ZATURNNAH ZE MUZIKAL is back by popular demand! Asus! ORIGINAL CAST pa!!! Now in a bigger, better venue ---THE NEW PETA THEATER CENTER at Sunnyside Drive, Bgy. Kristong Hari, E. Rodriguez QC (directly behind the QCSPORTS CLUB) from April 21 to 31. For reservations, call Tanghalang Pilipino Office at 8323661. Original Cast Recording CD also available at the Tanghalang Pilipino Office and Top and Bottom Nakpil cor. Orosa, Malate Manila. DONT WAIT TILL THE LAST DAY! BUY YOUR TICKETS and CDS NOW!!!

3) Here's another funny Filipino commercial. I remember watching it back in college and I couldn't stop laughing (and learn a valuable lesson at the same time).

Sacrifices, Frustrations, and Gay Childhood Ambitions

2006-03-25T00:29:00.000+08:00

I know what you're thinking. What took your empress more than a week to update his blog?

The answer? I was so engrossed with my upcoming project, and I'm still working on it.

At least, I've collected some interesting random lives for all of us to digest upon. You can breathe now...

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THE GREAT SACRIFICES

No, I was not offered to the gods for the rains to come. At least, not yet.

The past few days have tested my principles and I have made some of the most difficult decisions so far.

First is the obvious. I have changed (you can say downgraded) my template into a simple default blogger wall paper. Although I love my former template, the downside is that it loads slower. Hence, I got what I wished for: faster loading, even for jurassic dial-ups.

Second is the deeper one. I have changed (you can say downgraded) my Kids' TV job and became a segment producer once again. Although it is nice writing for the show, my film writing career is eating up my TV shooting schedule (not that it's a bad thing). Besides, the environment in Kids TV has become volatile so to speak. Now, I only report to Kids' TV to facilitate segment shoots, assist during editing, and receive my weekly salary, which is between twice to thrice a week.

Will these choices benefit me greatly? I'll let you know when that comes.

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BIG FRUSTRATIONS

I learned that getting into showbizlandia is not as easy as it seems. I am learning it the hard way.

My meetings in regards to writing for film are fun actually, but there's a rub. If we don't get to submit a concept that gets a green light in a month, we're out of the company.

And aside for my project (which isn't my concept), I have yet to present a good concept. I have pitched four so far and nothing gets past the rejection stage.

Not that my concepts are awful, the problem lies on the marketability of the concepts. For example, writing a Philippine movie about a blogger would not yield blockbuster appeal since only 2% of the population is computer-literate.

So while I was throwing some crazy concepts to my superior over the YM chat, I came up with a concept that she got interested in. I can tell she's interested once she started helping me in developing it. She told me to research about the topic so I could pitch it to the producer on our next meeting.

Let's just say that the concept is something new and it is not much explored in local movies (because it's SCARY, even while I was researching it). I hope this one gets a go. I'm crossing my fingers...and my toes, and I ask you to do the same.

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THE ULTIMATE MAMA-SAN

Our theater org had a general rehearsal of our 25th anniversary presentation last week. I was supposed to document the five plays performing using my mini-DV camera. But then, just as I arrived at the venue, I realized that my camera was on the whole time, and the lone battery was out. Sigh...buwisit...

Anyway, I was also looking forward to meet fellow alumni. Even though we have met often during the course of the auditions and pictorials, it was only that time when all of the five plays were rehearsed in one venue.

After the rehearsals, I joined with fellow blogger Paulie as we went to a co-alumni's apartment to spend dinner...and watch gay porn.

We watched Detention, a stud-filled extravanganza directed by ChiChi Larue. ChiChi is like the goddess of gay porn in the US. She is a producer and a director at the same time, not to mention possessing a stable of hunky molas out to gratify your fantasies.

Oh how we envy ChiChi Larue! Imagine, hundreds of guys are at your mercy. It's like every gay man's dream.

Paulie and I exclaimed like children as we watched this sixteen-man delight, "When I grow up, I wanna be like ChiChi Larue. The ultimate mama-san!"

We all laughed at the quote.

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MEET MY CHATMATE

I honestly not too keen in chatting, but I would like to introduce you to my new-found chatmate for over a week now.

His name is Luis and he's from Venezuela. I chanced upon him at the chatroom one time. I was drawn to his intriguing nick name, so I introduced myself (in a friendly way, mind you).

So now, everytime I am online during the wee hours of the morning revising my storylines and dabbling on the net, I talk to him over the chat while he's working at an import company. What I like about him is that he's a very warm person. We always find something to talk about. His lovelife (his boyfriend is also a hottie), my lovelife (if there IS one), his 15-year-old next door neighbor (whom I have the hots for), my chaotic career, anything.

I only introduced my blog to him last night, and so far he was impressed. He waiting to see this latest entry since I told him that I would feature him.
And why not? Any normal imperial blogger would feature a guy this hot.

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BOW DOWN AND WORSHIP MY FOOTNOTES

1) First of all, if you have friends over at the Emerald Isles called the Philippines, do tell them that Artistang Artlet's 25th Anniversary Presentation will be tomorrow, March 26 at PETA Theater Center, 5 Sunny Drive Street, behind Quezon City Sports Club, E. Rodriguez Avenue, QC. The show's only run will start at 6 PM. All original five plays featured (including the one I wrote) deal with the touchy-feeling subject of love. Ticket only costs P150. Text me at +639157411909 for more info.

2) I got a very touching message over my mobile from a reader who claims as a relative of StarStruck finalist Gian Carlos. The message reads:

"Just wen through you blog. I loved the visuals and apparent intelligence. Thanks for the kind and honest words for Gian. This is his tita (aunt), which is not to say that the compliment is meant to be patronizing. Just want to say keep it up. We need more bloggers like you. More power! From Biko Mabilog." +63917301****

Wow, thanks for noticing my blog. I always bear in mind to be honest in my blogs. I don't put up a front (well, not anymore). I don't patronize things in this blog that I don't patronize in real life, stuff like "drugs are cool." But do expect a lot of craziness in this site in the coming entries.

3) Meanwhile, StarStruck 3 Sole Survivor Marky Cielo was called to work right after the show's finale. Aside from being part of Love 2 Love Season 10, he is also included in the cast of Encantadia: Love Until The End, where he plays as King Ybrahim's son from Odessa, who is suspected as the future killer of his own father (as prophesied by a fortune-teller). Catch is Ybrahim has three children from three different women. Here's a preview of his first TV project.

Brain Storm/ The Ghost/ StarStruck Final Judgment

2006-03-14T19:12:00.000+08:00

I have so many random lives to annotate in this blog. You better get a cup of coffee (or tea if you want) before reading this. I'm sure you'll gonna like this, pwamis!

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THE BRAIN STORM

Last Saturday, I skipped one shooting day of Kids TV in order to attend my first brainstorm meeting as part of a story development group for an established film company.

I'll spare you with the nitty gritty details (besides, it's confidential). Instead, let me share you with what I've learned in this meeting so far:

1) SUMMON YOUR TALENTS AT WILL. There is no such thing as a "writer's block." If your producer (or the director) asks you of an idea, you have to answer right away.

2) HAVE A MUSE IN MIND. Think of an actor while writing the story for your project. Imagine him (or her) playing the lead role.

3) LEARN TO COMPROMISE, A LOT. Everybody in the film making process (from producers, directors, and the actors) will have a say about your work. If major adjustments are needed in the script, learn to yield a little.

4) SCRIPTWRITING IS NOT A SELFISH WORK. You can share concepts with other writers, but it is a gentleman's agreement that you are not supposed to use other writer's concepts for your own use.

5) ALWAYS FRY YOUR IDEAS. How would this concept be received by an minimum-wage worker who wants to be entertained when he enters the cinema? How would kids react to your work? Always bear in mind that you are making scripts for blockbuster movies, not art house films.

I have a project that I am supposed to submit tomorrow, and I'm halfway with my research.

I hope I'd nail this one. I'm so close to enter this industry.

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THE ANGRY GHOST ON MY BED

Remember when I confided to you that I have a ghost in my bedroom? Well, it's back.

I went asleep Tuesday past midnight. I was aware that if I lie on my back, it was as if I was inviting the ghost to get intimate with me. So instead, I slept on my side.

Minutes later, I felt my bed shaking violently from side to side. I swear it wasn't an earthquake.

It was as if the ghost is pleading that I would lie on my back, but I fought back.

"Stop," I murmured.

The shaking stopped.

And I thought I was the only one who had experiences like this.

I just read in a magazine about a woman's repetitive intimate encounters with a male ghost. She felt the same way as I had: difficulty of breathing, the feeling that you were being touched.

Apparently, they have a term for that spirit. It is called Incubus.

After reading the article my thoughts began to swirl. What if I entertain the incubus for once? How would I feel? What would I feel?

I'll tell you when that happens.

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STARSTRUCK, THE FINAL HOORAH!

I am so glad that Marky Cielo of Mountain Province won the Sole Survivor title in the third season of StarStruck. The Ultimate Male Survivor had to battle with Ultimate Female Survivor Jackie Rice for that crown by answering one question from a representative of GMA Network.

"How will you prove your staying power as a celebrity after StarStruck?"

Marky simply said that he will remain true to himself and will continue to hone his acting and dancing crafts. Enough said for the crowd fave.

The Final Four looked so divine last Sunday, together with the Avengers (the eliminated candidates), as well as the candidates and winners from the search's two previous seasons.

I am very confident that the third batch of StarStruck will have a beautiful showbiz career ahead of them, even the hard-headed Iwa Moto.

Watch Marky's Finale perfomance. Definitely a must-see. Notice that he was dancing in the middle of the song without his left shoe. That's a trademark of a professional performer.

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BOW DOWN AND WORSHIP MY FOOTNOTES

1) I was contemplating of resigning from Kids' TV because my meetings with the film company will always fall on a Saturday during my TV shoot. After talking to my boss, she allowed me not to attend during shoots as long as the scripts are prepared on time. On that note, there is a huge chance that I would catch my play's only run this coming March 26. I'm planning to videotape it just in case.

2) I finally found a great host for maruja radio. Thanks Talamasca.

3) JUST ASKING: Do you think I need a new template? If so, would you make one (or recommend one) for me?

Celebrity Spotting/ Multi-Media Multi-Tasker

2006-03-10T17:32:00.000+08:00

CELEBRITY SPOTTING 101, OR NOT

I'm still cracking my way deep into the Philippine Showbizlandia and because of my early exposure to this industry (I hugged Dolphy when I was five), I have become used to spotting local celebrities in public places.

Filipinos, especially the masses, love to spot celebrities. And when they do, it is as if they have found a long lost friend. Shrieking in delight, screaming the name, and waving towards them, with matching "Can I have an autograph?" even at the celebrity's private moments like malling or watching a movie.

Not all celebs take this over-fascination with a grain of salt. One actor (should I mention the name?) got so pissed after a teenager repeatedly shouted the his name while walking in a mall. The actor went near the lad and grabbed his neck as if trying to wring the poor guy's life dry.

A female TV host got a bit insulted after a random lady waved at her. Since the female celeb wants to unwind with her coffee at an outdoor cafe, she didn't noticed the female fan until she heard the comment "She is snooty in person!"

People should realize that celebrities are people, too. They work so hard (or so little, depending on how you view things) and they need to relax just like the rest of us bourgeois. So whenever they are in a public place, like a restaurant, just treat these celebrities like other strangers.

Ignore them.

Or at least pretend you ignore them.

I was standing in line to buy a ticket to watch Memoirs of a Geisha at the posh Gateway Mall (near Araneta Center) and I spotted StarStruck Finalists Jackie Rice and Gian Carlos (together with a fat gay handler) walking out of the cinema after watching Big Momma's House 2. So as not to give the impression that you are too eager, just follow what I always do whenever I spot celebrities in public places, using this scenario as an example.

Stare at them for about two seconds.

Close your eyes.

Then look away, while lingering that brief moment in your memory.

Simple, right? Not necessarily.

Fast forward. After watching Memoir's last full show, I calmly walked my way out of the closing mall. Just as I stepped on an escalator, a couple had just stepped out of the moving staircase. As they turned around, the guy looked up to me and I almost froze.

Because the guy stared at me like this.

Oh.

My.

God.

It's Dennis Trillo!

At that moment, I just looked away so instant that his face almost failed to linger in my mind.

Aaaaargh! I can't help but be nervous at that situation.

But I still kept my calm as I looked away and minded my own business desecending on the escalator. When I saw that he wouldn't see me, I let my jaw drop and checked my heart if it was still there.

Yup, it stayed there.

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THE MULTI-MEDIA MULTI-TASKER

I guess God did not want me to be confined in just one job. Just this week, I got another freelance work as a story development team member for an established movie outfit. We would meet for at least twice a month for storylines to be used in television shows and movies. I freaked out when I learned that I got the job. Imagine, my venture into Showbizlandia is slowly getting clearer, and I get to work with "Queen Mother."

But here's the rub. My first brainstorm meeting will be tomorrow, just as Kids TV will travel to Pampanga two shoot for two episodes. I told my Director/ Dad and Production Manager that I would follow to the location just after the meeting.

Now I have three different jobs in three different illustrious industries: Events (with my ex-boss), Television (with my current boss), and Movies, all of which have extremely flexible skeds and I hope I could manage to fit everything in.

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BOW DOWN AND WORSHIP MY FOOTNOTES

1) Still sad (no, devastated) by the fact that I wouldn't watch my play's only run this March 26 since I would be in Vigan by that time. Now I would have to content myself watching a run-through on the 24th and will watch a video of the play a week after. Kainis!

2) I'm also sad that Blogexplosion is on sale. I hope this company will fall in good hands.

3) After telling my sister about me spotting Jackie and Gian, she asked me if Jackie's beautiful. I told her, "Yes, she more beautiful in person, no doubt." She asked again, "More beautiful than Iwa Moto?" I answered, "I only said she's more beautiful in person."

4) Currently searching a good (and free) file hosting site where I can put maruja radio into good use. Myfilehut has been having problems with its server recently, and it's no fun that you browse my blog without some good tunes. Any suggestions?

4) JUST ASKING: How do you manage your tight schedule?

StarStruck: The Road To Finals (UPDATED)

2006-03-09T18:51:00.000+08:00

WARNING: My StarStruck post is laden with videos that can cause addiction and sleepness nights. You have been warned. For maximum experience, it is recommended that you play the video first before reading the preceding texts. Ready?

STARSTRUCK REPORT: EXCITING, RUTHLESS, HEARTLESS

Two days from now (make that three days from now; I thought I was blogging on a Friday), StarStruck will unveil its Finale and announce the Sole Survivor for its third season. This is different from its two previous seasons when they used to choose one male and one female winner.

It has been four months since StarStruck 3 introduced to the public 14 teen survivors from all over the Philippines, from a pool of over 40 believers and from thousands of dreamers.

And as the final days draw near, only four teen superstars, all talented (well, that can be debated) and having huge fanbase, remained in contention for the grand prize totaling ten million pesos worth of management contract, endorsements, and other perks showbiz personalities get.

A lot of speculators think that Marky Cielo would win this celebrity search, not only for his ethnicity (being a member of the Igorot Tribe) but for his talents in acting and dancing, which I think is his top asset. His "Machete factor", this unexplainable animal appeal, has slowly endeared a lot of girls (and definitely several males). And since he has not been "pasaway" (hard-headed) during the whole season, he did not stir hatred or apathy towards the viewers, who will make a bulk of the Final's decision.

Jackie Rice is the newly-celebrated poster girl. She has earned new appreciation from the press, and has shown to the viewers that she can battle Iwa Moto head on. In the latest live presentation, she said to the judges, "Iwa may be beautiful, but her personality is a different story." This half-American, half-Filipina lass from Olongapo has struggled through the difficult-to-please Douglas Nierras, the computer leakage controversy, and her seemingly-unsupportive father. But with the recent praises from the press, and since a lot of viewers got turned-off to Iwa's recent "tantrums," she may steal the Femal Survivor Title from the early favorite Iwa. Who knows?

Gian Carlos had been criticized for having one talent: playing the guitar. But what had him continuing the StarStruck journey is that he is improving, especially in acting. From a shy boy in Iloilo who strummed his way to Final 14, viewers have witnessed his evolution into a teen heartthrob worthy of Marky's competition, especially when he (and his fans) pulled out an upset Final 4 slot over Chuck Allie of Davao. However, his chances of winning the Male Survivor plum is close to nil. I think he is facing a wall that he would not crumble.

Iwa, Iwa, Iwa. What have you done Iwa? You display one hell of a fit when you were interviewed in Davao. You were supposed to be asked about your Stepdad's house that was burned. Or why you cried when your sister gave you a card? Why the sudden lash of emotions? Why the shower of hatred towards your competitors? Before you, or any of my fellow Iwanatics, answer, let me say this: In showbiz, plasticity is the best policy (grabbing a quote I found recently). You get to work with people you hate, and mingle with them, too. Now, you got flak, a lot of flak actually. If you will lose this Sunday, I know why. I won't question the judges' decision. I won't question the viewers' voting. I won't even question the network's seemingly conspiracy theory to put you down. I'll just ask you: Why? Despite all that, I still support you. May you have a flourishing showbiz career, but I doubt you could bring back the trust of over 50 million Filipinos who watched the interview.

If you ask me my overall perception of StarStruck's third season, it can be summed up in three words: EXCITING, RUTHLESS, HEARTLESS.

It is an EXCITING time to watch 14 teenagers become the third batch of phenomenal teen stars. No doubt that they will be as famous as most of the candidates of first season, which include...

FHM cover girl Katrina Halili.

Product endorser Nadine Samonte.

Teen comedian (and F4 clone) Rainier Castillo.

Hitmaker Yasmien Kurdi.

And the most popular love team (then separated then reunited then re-separated then starting to reunite) that is Mark Herras and Jennylyn Mercado.

Forget about the second batch. Even the winners were bland, just my honest opinion.

StarStruck 3 is RUTHLESS. They spare no-one when it comes to eliciting controversy, beginning with one candidate tearing a rosary apart after being eliminated from the Top 40. This season has the most controversy, the most tabloid frenzy, and the most cutthroat competition.

And finally, this season is HEARTLESS, ironic from the network's "Kapuso" tag. The show spares no-one when it comes to giving punishment to erring candidates. The judges gave Iwa and her controversial interview a score of 0 during the Final 6 judging. The show dug really deep into the computer leakage controversy, resulting to the elimination of Arci Munoz. After Iwa's interview, the show featured a lot of dismaying footages of the Las Pinas bet. But then again, that's Reality Television. It's bare, daring, no hold barred, crazy at times, still patronized overall.

I can't wait for this journey to end, but I am reeling to witness these fourteen stars venture their showbiz careers outside StarStruck. Questions begin to pop in the viewers' head: who will have the first endorsement? Who will have the first movie? Who will have the first hit record? Who will become more famous than the other? The competition of teen superstardom does not end in StarStruck. It's only just beginning.

Many thanks to Pinoy Rickey.

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BOW DOWN AND WORSHIP MY FOOTNOTES

1) I can't believe that I blog for three hours. And now that the mall where I'm blogging is about to close, I forgot what to put in my footnotes. I hate when things like these happen. Basta just keep on reading my blog and tell me your honest comments. I'm democratic naman eh.

2) Now I remember what to say...I feel so sad after learning that Kids TV's Vigan shooting coincide with the day my play would be performed. No, sad is not the right word. I was devastated. I had to ask the director to videotape the play for me to watch on a later date.

3) Congratulations to University of Santo Tomas for again bagging the overall championship at UAAP Season 68. As a tribute to my alma mater, here's a video of one of UST's pride: The Salinggawi Dance Troupe. This is their winning routine in last year's UAAP Cheerdance Competition (I was there at the stands!). A reminder to the US readers, Philippine Cheering is somewhat different to the American style of cheering. Ours focuses less on difficulty but more on flair and dancing. I'm sure fellow Thomasians Yuri, Geng, Rain, and Paulie would like this.

Maruja Radio ver.1.21/ He's Gay/ Kiss Me

2006-03-04T19:28:00.000+08:00

Maruja Radio ver.1.21

At last! I've found my banner song for this humble (and sometimes humiliating) blog of mine! This will be my battle cry in many days to come, as long as it is not being played on Love Radio and become a staple tune among cab drivers and housemaids.

Sandwich is one of the most successful cross-over bands in The Emerald Isles. Last year, their lead singer/ guitarist/ songwriter Marc Abaya (who is also an MTV VJ), left the group and was replaced by former Eraserheads drummer Raimund Marasigan, whom I thought was an excellent choice. The band recently released their fourth album entitled "Five On The Floor" and its carrier single, Sugod (which means "attack"), is a catchy one. I couldn't help but to stand up, raise my hands, and start a revolution.

"Brothers, let's attack
Let's stand up and unite
Wave the banner high
Rock and roll 'till the early morn'!"

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Okay, He's Gay. So?

I know this news bit is about Pinoy Big Brother (and you know I don't like Pinoy Big Brother), but this is worth your interest...

Finally, Rustom Padilla, former action star turned husband turned game show host turned annulled turned US exile turned skin care products owner turned Pinoy Big Brother Celebrity Edition contestant and lead actor in the movie Maruja (with his then-future wife Carmina Villaroel), has admitted on the reality program about a bunch of has-beens locked in a house for 50 or so days, what we have suspected all along.

He is gay.

This would have been okay, if only the show didn't exaggerate its reaction or treatment to his admission. He was branded by Big Brother as a hero, his brother Robin (another action star) called him "more macho".

Wow. Good for him. I hope they build a monument for his "heroism."

I opened up to my Dad and I'm still a fag who is not treated seriously in showbusiness. Here in showbizlandia, gays are the supposed comedians, the supposed laughing stocks, the supposed molestors of aspiring male stars, the supposed screaming drags and fags, the supposed beauty gurus, the supposed tabloid talk show hosts. We are always branded as someone else we are not.

Sorry for those PBB fans, but not everybody likes that show, your Empress included.

Since this is about coming out of the closet, let me tell you on how I came out.

My family is somewhat aware that I am different even when I was a child. I acted effeminately, I like to wear my Mom's high-heeled shoes, things like that. But my being gay was not discussed openly. I remember an aunt of mine telling me when I was 12 to take care of my white legs because "those will be your assets."

Well, I didn't become as beautiful as him.

Despite that "flaw," I still managed to wear short shorts and tease on the boys in our neighborhood back in my teenage years. Some guys fell into my charm, I guess I was irresistible then.

One night my Dad came home drunken mad. I was the only one awake since I was supposed to wait for him before I close the doors. He kicked the dog from the doorway, held my shoulders tightly and said, "If you flirt around like a slut, I swear I'll kill you."

I wasn't crying, just shocked that he said that.

The next day he asked me what happened when he came home. In all bluntness I told him word for word that quote. He said sorry and hugged me.

Wait, I didn't tell him I'm gay yet.

Years later, when I was in college, my Dad and I were watching a local talk show and its topic was "My child, are you gay?". During the commercial break, Dad asked the same thing.

"Son, are you gay?"

I stared into his and told him with all honesty...

"Yes, sir. Why?"

He laughed.

No, he didn't laugh out of disgust for gays. He laughed because his favorite son might not give him a grandchild.

Until now, our relationship is tight. People around me are quite baffled that I'm closer to my Dad rather than my Mom, like most gays are. Well, I don't know how to answer that.

At least I opened up to him. That alone, without much hype, pomp and circumstance, is enough.

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Kiss Kiss Kiss Kiss Me!

As the finals of StarStruck Season 3 draw near, the Final Four underwent a baptism of fire in showbusiness. Each finalist was paired with a previous winner of StarStruck 1 and 2 whom they will kiss on-screen. These short features, aptly called "Kiss Flicks," were the Final Four's first kiss on the small screen. Iwa Moto locked lips with Mike Tan (male winner of StarStruck 2), Gian Carlos smooched with Ryza Cenon (female winner of StarStruck 2), Marky Cielo pecked Jennylyn Mercado (female winner of StarStruck 1), and Jackie Rice gave an intimate kiss to Mark Herras (male winner of StarStruck 1).

In my opinion, the best kissing scene would be that of Jackie's and Mark's. They look so good together, aren't they?

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BOW DOWN AND WORSHIP MY FOOTNOTES

1) I'm really really tired after our Kids' TV press conference. (Notice the aposthrophe, as commanded by our Executive Producer.) It was a blast. I never expected that some prominent entertainment writers attended the event. I hope this would generate new interest among our audience.

2) Since StarStruck 3 Finals is near, I am planning to compile the best and worst of this exciting yet ruthless competition. If you'll see it in other blogs before me, you know what that means.

3) JUST ASKING: What do you want to see more in my blog?