Friday, October 21, 2005


I Got Tagged: 20 Things

I've just been tagged by FuzzBuck Fuzz with a meme (I don't know what it means, so don't ask me for now, but it sounds exciting). I'm going to post 20 random things about me, some are true and some are not. Post a comment on what you think are false. Get all of them correctly and I'll give you a body massage.

By Wednesday, October 26 (Philippine Calendar), I'll post the correct answers and tag the next three bloggers on my list. Here goes:

1) I don't take a bath at least once a week.
2) I used to be called "Maruja" when I was a kid.
3) I hate smokers.
4) I've kissed Mike back in college (check out my back articles for more info about him).
5) I've been in the USA.
6) I've written one-act plays.
7) One of which was performed on stage.
8) I dressed-up as a roasted pig once.
9) I waited for five hours for a guy to come, and he never came.
10) I like guys who are older than I am.
11) I collect autographs.
12) I'm STILL a virgin who pretends that I'm not.
13) I've been to Taiwan.
14) I'm afraid of cargo trucks.
15) I've participated in a rally that toppled a president.
16) My e-mail address is 8 years old.
17) I've never been to a gym.
18) I have three blogs.
19) I co-organized a gay pageant.
20) All the 19 other facts are not true.

I won't tell how many are false. Can you tell? Send in your comments :)

posted by Empress Maruja | |





Be Stressed In The Coming Days

(image courtesy of bbc.co.uk)

The coming days are hell days, and it started this afternoon.

***************

The production meeting for Kids TV began with an argument. We never run out of arguments. (I guess that's what creative people do.)

Our production manager failed to inform me that the hosts were supposed to appear on an outdoor background on chroma. But since the kid hosts were sitting on a sofa, it would be pretty darn bad if that request is insisted.

As usual, it was the editor who created the mountain out of the molehill, that I should have given him the story board way before, that I should have inform him what kind of background it's supposed to be and all that. I just stood at the corner, telling him that it's our first time to shoot on a chroma. Let's just move on and do better next time.

I know I have my faults as the head writer. Hell, it's my first time to be head writer and I got the job after Larra's murder (I'm still praying for her killers to be arrested, St. Jude has been nice to me). How am I supposed to know those stuff, no one's teaching me.

And tomorrow, our shoot for Kids TV is stress personified. We will shoot FOUR segment shoots tomorrow from 9AM to 10PM. Although the production team was divided into two units, just imagine the effort we do on each shoot. It's not easy.

***************

And right now, I'm sitting all alone in front of a computer in my ex-boss' office to type the finals script for Elite Model Look Philippines. I'm not complaining, but I felt I needed new inspiration in typing the spiels, since the words I'm typing in the draft have been uttered ever since last month (during the semi-finals). I need some quick inspiration.

How about a one-night stand?
Or a quick look at the thesaurus?
Maybe I should eat dinner...
Or perhaps I need to watch TV (there isn't any here).

I need to clear my mind.

***************

It is only this afternoon that I'm beginning to realise the magnitude of the event this Thursday, the Elite Model Look Philippines Finals. Even Errol (my ex-boss) told me that a while go before he left for a meeting.

Errol and I never thought of being part of an event this grand, this prestigious, this glamorous. If not for Elite, Errol would have accepted offers to direct school pageants. I, meanwhile, would have continued to rant about my constant thrift spending with a US$180 salary a month in writing TV scripts.

I thank St. Jude for giving us this opportunity, and we hope this isn't the last Elite competition we produce.

***************

THE EMPRESS IS THANKFUL

1) Thank you for reading my blog, especially to my growing number of fans (I would like to insist that you are becoming a fan of mine). If you are from Baguio City, Philippines; Singapore; Birmingham and Huntsville, AL; Honolulu, HI; Houston, TX; Bromley,UK; Guam; Quebec, Canada; San Jose, CA; Overland Park, KS (I have a fanbase in Kansas, I know that for a fact); Dublin, Ireland; Oslo, Norway; Charleston, SC; Trafford, UK; Blackpool, UK; Wooroloo, Australia; Philadelphia, PA; Atlanta, GA; Madison, WS (another growing fanbase, I should know); San Diego, CA; Haifa, Israel; Milan, Italy; Masontown, PA; Gainesville, FL; Sydney, Australia; Quezon City, Philippines; Toronto, Canada; and Edmonton, Canada, STAND UP, LEAVE A COMMENT, AND BE RECOGNIZED. I...LOVEYOUALL!

2) A super thanks to my new internet friends Amiah (of Burned Thoughts) for being a great fan and Charles (of Bend It Like A Banana) for giving me a cool add-on. What is it? I'll keep that a secret from now. Their blogs are linked to my sidebar.

3) I just found out a great site for you to browse on. It's called The Indian Lake Project, a mystery blog that involved a metal box, old photographs, and what seemed as a classified military experiment involving children. It got me sooooo creepy that I read all of the back articles.

THIS IS EMPRESS MARUJA. Someday I will rule a queendom somewhere.

posted by Empress Maruja | |




Tuesday, October 18, 2005


I Got Paparazzeed!

I just read my new gmail account and boy, what did I find?

Rain, a good friend of mine, tagged along in our Elite Model Look bar tour. I referred him to Errol (my ex-boss) to direct the video of our candidates appearing in sponsor establishments. While I was having to multi-task between rewriting the cue cards to running to and from coordinating with co-staffers to taking pictures of the models and bar customers holding sponsor products, he was busy filming and taking paparazzi-style photos of the models.

I was not spared. AT ALL.

He even sent the pictures in my e-mail to prove it. I didn't know whether he did that to spite me, to humor me, to woo(?) me, or he just wanted me to post these on my blog. I will not elaborate on the "woo(?)" part, he's reading my blog.

All right, Rain, you win. But guys, honestly, I looked uggity-ugly in these photos.


I think this was on the balcony section of Prince Of Jaipur.



Busy taking pictures.


I think Cherry was about to say "four" but her finger said otherwise.


I anticipated the sudden camera flashes.



Since I have paparazzi photos, does this mean I'm a celebrity?


I really don't look good on photographs...sigh! I looked tired, slightly drunk, and half-sleepy.

Rain, you ought to photograph the better side of me. Before my fans will.

posted by Empress Maruja | |





Writer VS Editor, Round One


I had an argument with our editor today.

Kids TV is undergoing major production changes. We have a new photography studio, complete with a chroma wall. Since our producer would like to see what the show would look like in chroma technology, we went for it. But since transiting from outdoor shoot to chroma shoot could be a bit drastic for the viewers, I decided to add a little twist on the opening.

It would show the hosts playing with the chroma background. They flew, ran endlessly, fell from the sky, hung upside-down. It was a fun shoot that could result a very good sequence.

But when the editor learned about the complex sequence for our episode aweek from now, he was...let's just say...shocked.

"Why do you have to tell this now? Don't you know how long it would take to render a chroma background? You should have told me beforehand so I would have gotten prepared."

I was tired of his "making a mountain out of a molehill" arguments that I just diplomatically bursted out.

"Okay, let's just delete that sequence altogether."

I tried to cool my head in the production area of the office, while writing down the closing billboard of the upcoming episode this Saturday and watching a Korean drama series.

Our production assistant walked to me and explained the editor's side.

"All he wanted was to get prepared."

"I wanted to make the show better," I answered back.

"Well, he does, too. But he needed to be informed next time. You know how grueling the editing would be with your sequence."

I stopped arguing. "All right."

SCORE: EDITOR--1, WRITER--0

posted by Empress Maruja | |





A Model's Slow Downfall

Annoucements:

  • The Elite Model Look Philippines 2005 official website is up and running. Do check it out here.
  • My other work, Kids TV, can be seen every Saturday 4:30pm on RPN-9, that is if you live in the islands called The Philippines.

The bar tour of Elite Model Look Philippines 2005 wrapped up in an exclusive party at Embassy, the current toast of the Metro. All of the beautiful people filled the dancefloor in bodily gyrations commandeered by hypnotic trance tracks. Some of the model finalists arrived the bar at 3am to sell around tickets for the Finals Night. Most of the candidates were novice models and are beginning to realize the hardships and trials of a struggling model.

But it seems that the lessons hit some of the models right in the face.

Two finalists approached a lady sitting by herself at the corner of the dancefloor. They recognized her as one of the country's top models and TV host (as much as I would like to say her name for the sake of controversy, I can't tell who she is). When they offered the top model some tickets, the novice could not help but bewilder at her blank stare.

"Elite?...Oh yeah...I've heard of that," she mumbled, her eyes half-asleep.

The finalists could not tell whether she was E-ed or Coked, or just plain drowsy. But when the strobe lights began hitting the top model's face, they could see tons of blemishes on her once smooth skin, from pimples to borroughs.

This woman's downfall is being unfolded to the eyes of these starting models. They could not even reply to their idol, who have appeared on numerous TV commercials, fashion magazine, and is now co-hosting an entertainment show. They simply walked away.

And told other people about it, including the writer, me.

posted by Empress Maruja | |




Saturday, October 15, 2005


The Jeepney Karma


Before going to my ex-boss's condominium which is the meeting place of all the models and staff for the Elite Model Look Philippines bar tour, I made a routinary stop to a local PC rental shop to blog for tonight, aware of the fact that my PC at home is a prehistoric fossil.

I waited for a jeepney on the roadside, taking my handful of 5-peso, 1-peso, and 25-centavo coins for me to sort out my fare. I took a jeepney to Cubao district and immediately gave the driver my 7.50 pesos. When I got to Cubao, I immediately walked along the roadside (I'm in an hurry to post a blog before my co-staffers text me with "wer r u na?" messages) and noticed that the jeep is following me.

I turned around and the driver told me that I have yet to pay the fare.

What? I've paid already, but he seemed adamant that it was otherwise. So without much argument, I pulled out my coins from my tight jeans and gave him the measly 7.50 pesos worth of the ride.

I totally remembered that I already gave the fare, but I guess it's my karma tonight. God is making me pay for the times I intentionally did not pay the jeep fare to save money.

It was all about the attitude, not being able to pay the fare and walk away with it. When I was in first grade just after our Christmas Party, I realized that the school service left without me. So with an empty Tupperware of what used to be Mom's spaghetti and no money in my pocket, I walked five kilometers to school, since at that age I already had a sense of direction.

Mom was worried when she saw me hours later, appearing tired and all smogged-up. "You should have asked the driver a favor of taking you ride for free," she told me.

Obviously I followed her advice, but not the asking part.

posted by Empress Maruja | |




Friday, October 14, 2005


Mornings With Maruja


This morning, my sister entered my dad's room where my brother and I sleep while he's in the US. She barraged the half-asleep me with a list of to-do's before she leaves for her hotel training.

"Uncle Robert will arrive at 9am. Give him the money I'm supposed to give him, okay?"

With my eyes half-open, I mumbled "okay, okay" from time to time, as if telling her that I'm still asleep and wanted to be asleep in the hours to come. But, being the concerned sister/ mother of the house that she is, she had to remind me continuously.

"Don't forget to feed my babies. And leave some money before you go to work so little brother will buy food for them later, okay?"

"Okay, okay."

"When are we gonna pay the water bill? Shall we use the latest bill that the babies shred to bits?"

"Okay, okay."

Once she ended her litany, she was about to leave the room.

"Oh and by the way, Dad called a while ago."

I stretched a little, my eyes still closed. "What did he say?"

"He said Mom bought you a new cellphone."

I got up just like that and pretended not to be excited as I began to fix the beddings.

"So does it look like?"

"It's a 'flip' phone, just like you," she hurriedly left afterwards.

Wow, what a great way to describe it.

I went straight to the kitchen, scooped some food to bowls. Brought the bowls outside as I dragged the cage where my sister's two babies were beginning to get restless for their breakfast. I opened the cage gate and out went the pug "Kano" (which means American) and the pug-lasso alpo named "Intsik" (Chinese).

I'm not a morning person. I prefer to get lazy and watch cable TV, drink lukewarm coffee and eat instant pancit. So for the next two hours while waiting for sister's godfather, whom she calls Uncle, just like how many Filipinos affectionately call their godfathers, I just sat on the wooden chair, raised my legs up, watch TV and do nothing.

Just nothing.

I can't wait for the evening to come. Tonight, my ex-boss's modeling competition will be having its bar tours until tomorrow. Ooh, I can't wait. I haven't been in a bar since October last year after getting a TV job in an office located away from the nightspots. Whenever I'm in a bar, I like to take Blow Jobs.

No, stupid, it's a shot drink.

I take every hard drink imaginable. Mudslide, Jagers, Long Island Ice Tea, Cosmopolitan, name it, my gut can handle it. But just like Superman, your Empress has a weakness: beer. Ridiculous as it may sound, beer gets me drunk quicker than a casual quickee. And I mean really really drunk and wasted. So in a beer-obssessed society, my preference for the more expensive hard drinks are weird by their standards, but I don't care. Why should I conform? Why should I drink beer for the sake of fitting in? Why don't THEY try to take a sip of a fabulous cosmopolitan, and eat the cherry afterwards? Doesn't take make you look sexy? Beer makes you like a brute, a prude brute, not a sexy beast like what wine or Irish creams can do...

Then Intsik began to bark in her high-pitched angry whelps. Someone was at the gate. I looked at the clock and it was 9am.

posted by Empress Maruja | |




Thursday, October 13, 2005


An E-Mail From Bryanboy


Last Saturday, I received an e-mail from Bryanboy, the country's blogging demi-god.

Thanks, sweetie!

Your pic is going live today - Happy Saturday!

Bryan
I adore Bryanboy. I'm a regular reader of his blog because of his no-nonsense idolatry of the branded and the elite. His famous (or infamous) cam-whoring featuring pictures of himself brandishing expensive handbags are just crazy. He has a lot of readers, both here and abroad. One of the site's sections encourages his readers to show their love and appreciation for him by sending him pictures of themselves with the phrase "I Love Bryanboy". I've submitted one myself, and what do you know? It's posted here.

I encourage my readers to read Filipino blogs. Because we're so darn beautiful... and crazy.

posted by Empress Maruja | |





I'm working 9 to 5 (am)

My definition of an ideal job is not being confined in the office for eight or nine hours a day and all do is letting your hatred for the job grow on you. I prefer working where I get to go out of the office. You know, so you don't have to see that same office space every day. Aside from which, I always preferred a job that doesn't suck the energy out of you.

That is why I've been a model agent and now a freelance writer.

I currently work for a production company where we create a children's show (entitled Kids TV for obvious reasons), which we broadcast on a local TV station. My dad referred me to the job, he is the show's director. I've worked my way up from researcher and was promoted to become a segment producer (at the cost of our nutty ex-employee who really created a scene before she was sacked; I'll tell you about it some time) and now I'm working as the show's head writer (after Larra's murder).

Things were going fine in the workplace until two events opened the new chapter of my life, which is October 2005. First, my dad left the country to spend his second honeymoon with my mom who already lives there (dad told us that mom used to tease him on the phone that she's still menstruating and fertile at 48; and you know how children, even though older, will react...ewwww). He'll be there for a month so we've taped some advance episodes to lessen the hassle of directing the show without him, since the executive producer decided (after much lobbying, of course) that she will not get a replacement and instead relegated me and the new segment producer to direct the show temporarily, which is cool.

But the second situation stepped in. I accepted a writing job from my ex-boss last month for his latest venture, the local version of Elite Model Look competition and now, the series of fashion events and tours leading to the finals are beginning to pick up and its beginning to take a majority of my time. So much that an inquiry or command would be received on my cellphone while I'm busy typing the scripts for the upcoming episodes. I've finished one script for the competition's many mall tours late at 5 am (or make that early at 5 am), slept for four hours then went to my TV work, leave after 2 hours because I have to be at the modeling contest mall tour.

My schedule became a wreck. I failed to attend my TV boss' daughter's birthday party, which I was supposed to host because of an urgent meeting at Elite. My TV superior was calling me on my cellphone, asking me if I could make it to the party. I said I can't. But I'm sure the boss will be disappointed on me.

I'm not complaining though. It's just that I never knew that having two writing jobs can be a throbbing pain in the head and can cause a heavy dizziness on your eyelids. But I need the jobs, I need the big money, so I hope prayers help me in balancing my time.

After all, the modeling competition job will end two weeks from now and by that time, I have all the time in the world writing new scripts for the kiddie show. That is unless if I accept the lifestyle writing job being offered to me.

posted by Empress Maruja | |





Stuck And Sticking To It


A while ago, I tried redesigning my blog with cool templates suggested by my readers. I was so psyched in renovating the blog space since the default template looks mediocre.

But alas, even though it looks good on the preview, the template's elements get scrambled when I typed the site manually. I don't know if it's in the incompatibility on browsers (I'm using IE) or a mix-ups in the codes (I swear I was careful) or maybe I'm not meant to redesign the site for now.

So, yeah, I'm stuck with the tic-tac-blue template, and I might stick to it for some time.

posted by Empress Maruja | |




Wednesday, October 12, 2005


Wow Filipinas!



I don't know about you, but I have this baffling thought whenever foreign men set their foot here at the islands called The Philippines. It seems that foreign male tourists here have one thing in mind: getting laid.

It's not like in Bangkok where white guys go there to marvel at their ancient golden temples, thread along the river market, then go to Patpong and get laid.

It's not like in Bali where they walk along the pristine beaches and pay their respects at the Hindu temples, then go to the bars at night and get laid.

Male tourists go here in Manila to get laid. Period.

And that comes in many forms, from searching for an exotic wife, to participating in sex tours, to hanging out at the hotel lobbies, to strolling along numerous cafes in the Metro known to be hangouts of the Havana Girls, a herd of brown-skinned hoochie-mama predators out to grapple their foreign prey, and hopefully suck their wallets dry.

Maybe the Department of Tourism should grab the opportunity to market the Philippines in a different light. Instead of promoting the wondrous attractions in the islands using the banner "Wow Philippines," they should rename the slogan as "Wow Filipinas." It's a double-entendre, visit Filipinas, fornicate our Filipinas.

posted by Empress Maruja | |




Saturday, October 08, 2005


Help, Anyone?

I am in the course of navigating the gates and tunnels of BlogExplosion. It's part of my campaign to promote this blog to as many readers as it could. I don't dream of a thousand readers and become a blogging celebrity (although that would be cool), but having people read your stories and appreciate it through comments, it feels gratifying.

I've just learned that my site was reviewed twice by two members and I was quite saddened by one of the reviews. No, not because it was harsh. Just read on:


Summary: A beautiful personal diary, but poorly presented: design needs an overhaul for the content to be discovered by readers (which it will, if the look is right and the pages and archives are easy to navigate). A pearl in a paperbag.

Isn't that review make you feel sad?

Redesigning my blog has been an option weighing in my head, but being an html-dumdum like yours truly, I always ditch the thought. But I am wondering if there are anyone willing to help in the design. Help, anyone? I can give you free BJs. Buko (coconut) Juice.

But nevertheless, I will continue to post here even without a blog make-over. I mean, it's like saying to the world, "This is me...deal with it."

Though seriously, I can give you a good BJ, a thirst-quenching glass of it.


posted by Empress Maruja | |




Tuesday, October 04, 2005


The Greatest Performance Of My Life

I still have the chicken legs. I couldn't stand up straight, my thigh muscles are aching as I walk, and my knees are getting wobbly.

All because I have done the greatest performance of my life.

I performed a sing and dance number last Saturday. I sang on an average microphone and dance the hop-hoppity bop-bop dance routine I learn from tutorial videos. The routine ran for an hour.

But me and my duet could not seem to reach the high notes in our performance, so we ended up getting the consolation prize.

Even our hostess, Mama Tanya whose parlor I used to hang out in college, was baffled by the hour-long number. I gave out my rants and raves about the performance.

My duo was drunk that time. And you know what happens to guys when they are drunk, their dance performance gets affected. You will be forced to danced for hours until the music stops.

But boy was he a good dancer. He reciprocates my every move and groove by his rough whispers and hard grips on my flesh and skin.

Yet still, the fact that the song and dance number lasted for a hour can be tiresome for both of us. Besides, we had issues. I would rather sing, but he insisted on dancing, but I wasn't in the mood for dancing so he forced me to.

I can tell what will happen when I come back to the parlor. A blaring headline will announce my forthcoming as: MARUJA MAKES HISTORY, RUNS A MARATHON OF SONGS AND DANCES. Oh, the embarrassment of being teased, just like in college years, would surely come back like a persistent ghost suitor.

However, I'll try to keep cool with the situation and instead blare out another headline: RESEARCH SHOWS MARUJA STILL VIRGIN. Although honestly, that was a lie.


I hope you like my blog. Please leave a comment to show your appreciation. Thanks.

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posted by Empress Maruja | |




Monday, October 03, 2005


Hey, Big Spender!

My dad is set to leave to California this afternoon, local time. My mom, who currently lives with our eldest brother somewhere in its Republican arms, misses dad dearly and she wanted him to spend a month in the rolling Freedom Mountains together with other relatives on both sides of the family.

This means that the remaining three siblings will have to endure a month of keeping the house clean and sane, while I have to endure the new responsibility of providing my sister and brother their allowances for internship and school respectively. And to think that my salary is good enough for me to spend it in three to five days flat.

Spending is a big problem for me. My money would have been gone as swiftly as it would land on my hand. Now you're wondering, where do I spend my money on?

Most of my salary goes to food. No, I don't eat a lot of food. I eat expensive food like Pad Thai, Japanese buffet meals, spare ribs in paella. Name it, as long as it's over 100 pesos, that's fine with me.

A big part of the money also goes to entertainment. Just like most Filipinos, I demand to be entertained, but unlike most of us who indulge in watching in cinemas, I prefer going to the arcade and waste my time playing Soul Calibur 2 (aside from the fact that it features a Filipina character, Talim, Ivy is a bitch if not a whore), Dance Dance Revolution (I'm still the traditionalist 4-pad person; that dance game with 5-pads is too much IMO), and Para Para Paradise 2 (you should have seen how kids here dance the Para Para, it's crazy).

I watch movies twice a month, that's why I tend to make sure that I watch a really good one. The last movie I've watched is The Skeleton Key. A really twisted horror. Two-thumbs and a pinky up.

Six-hundred pesos is always set aside for the phone bill and the newspaper subscription, the only bills I pay in the house. And now my Dad's away, I will face the responsibility to be a good elder and provide an ample amount of allowance for me siblings. In Pinoy terms, ample allowance is an understatement. My sister demands a 1500-per-week rate while my brother must have 150 pesos everyday. I tend to feel the reluctancy as I give away money other than for my personal consumption.

Why? It's my money...Daddy will have to pay for that once he comes back.

I'm beginning to deal with it. Thank God I have another job for the month of October. Now I have to buy a new shirt, a new pack of coffee, and anticipate those horribly expensive taxi rides. That salary, too, will be gone in quite a while...starting now.

posted by Empress Maruja | |




Sunday, October 02, 2005


The La Sallian Punch!

Remember this post?

Free Image Hosting at www.ImageShack.us

It became internet fodder the whole night after the incident happened. Hundreds of threads were created at Pinoy Exchange, a popular Filipino forum. Irate FEU fans, as well as anti-Archers, and even La Sallians thenselves, posted a barrage of hatred towards the guy in green and the whole De La Salle community in general.

Some of the notable posts include:

"Just goes to show how much class some La Sallites have. Ruined a great game. Shame, shame. I smell a big fine coming up."

"Whatever respect the DLSU team has garnered for themselves throughout the season has been greatly diminished by that cheapshot..."

"A cheap shot from a cheap goon from a cheap team form a cheap school."

and "Even if DLSU wins the UAAP championship, the ignominy of Mr. Manny Salgado's act will linger on for the next few years... what shame has he brought to our DLSU community?"

The day after, the University Athletic Association of the Philippines (UAAP) Board Of Directors have decided on the harshest punishment in its history.

De La Salle Green Archers Assistant Team Manager Manny "The La Sallian Punch" Salgado is banned. For life.

He is no longer allowed to watch any UAAP games, including chess, or participate in any UAAP teams, including National U.

That is despite his efforts to thwart control his personal crisis by appearing at a morning show and apologized to MVP Arwind Santos, and De La Salle University publishing a public apology.

But at least he has a great way of ending the career of former Games and Amusement Board Chairman. His name will be embedded in UAAP history as the most embarrassing moment.

At least he can have a career in boxing. How do you think he has labelled as "The La Sallian Punch"? But I think he will have a handicap, having a penchant for punching at the back of the fist.

I hope you like my blog. Please leave a comment to show your appreciation. Thanks.

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posted by Empress Maruja | |