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Sunday, August 27, 2006


Random Lives of Empress Maruja Turns One!

This may be a little bit delayed as promised (yeah, I always tend to get late on my promises), but today I'm celebrating.

Today (well, make that 5 days delayed from today) is Random Lives of Empress Maruja's first birthday!!!



Yehey!

Hapi hapi hapi bertday!
Sa 'yo ang lalake!
Aketch ang dadale!

Kidding, but seriously, it would be great if you are going to give my site a gift (wishing!).

Since it's my blog's birthday, and also in celebration of the National Language Month, the proceeding post will be written in Filipino. (Okay, make that a part of the post just in case I Talk Too Much reads it for a re-review, which I volunteered by the way so don't go "warla" if I get a negative smack.)

O, sige na, blow na ako...ng kendel siyempre. Hihi!

***************

BUHAY BUHAY: Eh Kung Tamaan Ako ng Kidlat?

Dahil nga bago ang aking cellphone, mega-announce ko sa mga friends ko ang bagong number. Lahat na yata ginamit ko: YM, Friendster, e-mail. Lahat na may address book or some kind of a contact para naman maibalik ko ang sarili ko sa sibilisasyon matapos ang dalawang linggong walang phone. Punyetang snatcher iyan kasi eh...

Isa sa mga unang nag-text sa akin ay ang aking matalik na kaibigan na si "Stephen." Nag-iimbita siya kasama ng mga friends ko na magkita-kita naman, kasi nga sobrang busy ang drama naming lahat. Ang plano, nood kami ng kanyang DVD collection ng mga pelikulang galing Thailand at Cambodia (O di ba? Saan ka lulugar?) at maglaro ng Cluedo buong magdamag. Pamorningan na wholesome kumbaga.

Ako sa sarili ko gusto ko siyang makita. Aba, ilang taon kaya kaming hindi nagkita niyan? Dalawa? Tatlo? Hindi ko na matandaan. Kaya lang, may pagkaalinlangan ako.

Kasi yung Stephen na nakilala ko ay nagbago ng anyo. Hindi, hindi naman siya naging halimaw.

Noong college kami, super buddy ko siya. Yup, bakla rin siya gaya ko. Pareho kami ng hilig: sine, TV, sining ng kung ano mang chuva. Kaya lang, mayroon kaming pagkakaiba. Kung ako alam na ng aking mga parents na bayot, si Stephen...ang alam ng parents niya na isa siyang "malamya."

Kumbaga, hindi pa siya out.

Hindi tulad ko na kahit papaano ay lumandi, si Stephen ay isang birhen. Never been kissed, never been touched, at never pang humada ang drama. Hanggang gumaraduate na kaming lahat-lahat, Mama Mary pa rin ang lola mo.

Sa trabaho niya sa advertising nakilala ang lalakeng kanyang minahal at nagmahal sa kanya. Kaya naman nang malaman ito ng kanyang pamilya, aba, daig pa ang dialogue sa mga teleserye ng Channel 2 ang reaction nila.

"Hindi ko na kilala ang taong nasa harap ko."

"Sige, sabihin mo sa akin! Ano pang mga lihim ang kailangan mo mabunyag?"

In short, hindi tanggap ng family na bayot siya. Magmula noon, bawal siya tawagan ng mga friends niya. Bad influence daw kami.

Makalipas ang ilang taon, nagplano kami ng surprise party para sa kanya. By that time alam na naming nagkakaroon na ng pagbabago sa kanya. Isa ako sa "advance party" na pupunta sa kanyang prayer meeting habang hinihintay namin ang mga kasamahan naming magdadala ng cake.

Nagkita na kami before dahil inimbita niya kaming manood ng Passion of the Christ with matching Bible reading at analysis, pero noong birthday niya, doon ko na lang napagtanto na may isang malaki at malawak na puwersang umiimpluwensiya sa kanya.

Ang puwersa ni Hesu Kristo.

Tine-train na pala si Stephen na maging worship leader. Yes, heto ang lola niyo, nakisali sa kanilang pagtitipon. Ako pa naman, ayokong magsimba kasi nabubuwisit ako sa mga paring mapanghusga, at heto ako nakiki-power-power, umiiyak, nagsisisi sa kanyang hada noong nakaraang Sabado.

Iniwaksi ni Stephen ang kanyang pagkababae para sa Diyos, at ngayon kapag nakita niyo ang kanyang Friendster account, aba, lalake na nga siya...

Yun ang dahilan kung bakit ako nanlamig sa kanya, kasi hindi ko na siya makausap nang matino. Parang lumalabas na ako pa ang dahilan kung bakit lumala ang kanyang "sakit," at dapat din akong pagalingin para mahalin ng Diyos. Ano ba 'yon? Mahal ko ang Diyos pero naniniwala akong hindi ko kailangang magpakalalake't pumompyang ng gerl para lang mahalin Niya ako, noh! Mapagmahal ang aking Diyos at tanggap kung sino ako: makasalanang nagsisisi paminsan-minsan, nagpapasalamat sa Kanyang walang-sawang pagpapatnubay at pag-aalaga sa akin at sa aking pamilya, binubuhusan ng Kanyang mga biyaya.

Pero siyempre, kahit na magkaiba na nga ang aming mundong ginagalawan (siya sa langit at ako naman papuntang...langit na rin), hindi ko maitatanggi na kaibigan ko siya. Napakalalim na ng aming pinagsamahan para lang maaksaya dahil lang naging mongha siya.

Tamaan man ako ng kidlat.

***************

MOTIF: Ice...Ice...Baby! (One Night in Sn-Tsn Part 2)

We entered a local restaurant in Shenzhen, China, to get our stomachs filled for the night. My dad asked the waitress for a menu and we his children reminded him what our tour guide Helen said: most Chinese don't speak English at all.

Since dad did not enrol me at a Chinese school back in my teen years, we settled for sign language to get our message across. Good thing the menu has English translation to it, so ordering for food isn't that difficult. Dad ordered chicken wings and a bottle of San Miguel Beer (which is pretty expensive at 18 yuan a pop; oh well, in China our local beer is considered "imported"). My siblings ordered banana splits while I, being an eccentric being that I am, chose their in-house specialty, a "papaya boat."

It's basically a cocktail of locally-grown fruit such as lychee and pear served on a papaya half. I really really needed some dose of fiber. This trip has gotten me constipated for two straight days and I really really need to let all my frustrations out.

King Daddy wanted ice on his mug, so he instructed the waitress "ice." Again, we reminded him of the language barrier, so he tried shaking his cupped hand on the mug in hopes that the waitress got the message. Minutes later, the waitress carried a bowlful of ice cubes to our table. Hey, that wasn't bad.

My dad thanked her with a thumbs up sign, but it seemed the watiress was more than happy on what she served. She started to shout, "Ice! Ice!" to her fellow wait staff, proudly bannering her new grasp of the English vocabulary.

We ended our meal with much gusto, and as a waiter cleared the table, Dad left a 5 yuan tip that the waiter picked up and tried to return. Dad mentioned to accept it, and we could see the paper bill slowly disappearing as he crumpled it and placed in his pocket.

Too bad Dad didn't give a tip to the waitress for learning a new word.

***************

COMMERCIAL BREAK: Philippine Idol Theater Eliminations

Tonight, we will get to see the Top 24 of the first season of Philippine Idol. But first, watch this great teaser of the episode. I've watched a couple of times and it still give me the shiver (the good kind).


***************

RANDOM HOT MEN: Alfred Vargas for X-Ray Magazine

More of Alfred Vargas in almost perfect form as captured by the artistic lenses of X-Ray Magazine. Ooooh...







I hope children are not reading this.

***************

BOW DOWN AND WORSHIP MY FOOTNOTES:

1) Empress Maruja has a new site to recommend. Las Tres Estrellas is a collaboration of three luscious and beautiful bloggers all with biting wit and humor as they illustrate the greatness in being gay. I was laughing my ass of while reading the post about what Miss Universe 1994 candidates would say about each other today. Check out the Recommendations section and click on the icon.

2) Starting Monday, Empress Maruja subscribes to The Philippine Star as protest against the "anti-gay" stance of my favorite paper Philippine Daily Inquirer. I don't agree on that "Our writers' opinion do not reflect the sentiments of our publishers" crap. I don't publish any pro-government article in PDI, so why print out a column that spreads hate and bigorty? Anyway, a representative of PDI e-mailed me and he said they would investigate what happened. Too late.

3) Mr. Isagani Cruz, the author of that anti-LGBT column, deserves to go to hell after his remaining days on Earth. I am very sure that one of his "macho" sons is cruising around the brokeback cinemas of Quiapo when he's not looking.

4) Sigh...enough of the hate. If you want to know more about me, don't hesitate to ask. E-mail me at empressmaruja@gmail.com, and I'll answer your questions as soon as possible.

5) While watching television, my sister and I learned that Kama Sutra teaches ways of the bedroom to make your child a boy or a girl. If the woman wants a son, she should eat a lot of fruits and vegetables; if she wants a girl, the mother should eat bread and grains. My sister joked that our mother probably chose to eat both before I was born. Sister gave footnote with some archive story that Mom thought I was a girl when I was inside her, that she bought some pink clothes and planned on naming me Katrina. Oh well, at least Mom got the best of both worlds. Besides, if I become a girl, I would probably be pregnant by 13. Uh-oh...

Happy birthday, my dearie blog!




10 Comments:

Anonymous berg said...

hi empress maruja! looks like i'm the first one to greet you... happy first birthday to your blog! :) and i wanna thank you too for visiting my (one month old) blog and leaving some comments... i really appreciate them. hope ko lang aabot din ako ng one year or more... like you hehe. God Bless!

Sun Aug 27, 07:42:00 PM GMT+8

 
Anonymous ribbiticus said...

happy blog-anniversary, dear empress! mas type ko yata ang pag-blog mo nang tagalog. nakikinita ko kung paano ka magsalita kung nasa harap kita - hahaha! more to come!!! ;)

Tue Aug 29, 01:06:00 AM GMT+8

 
Anonymous K said...

Happy 1st. The Queer Chef pointed his nose on me to pay you a visit.

Looking forward for more Phil Idol's. Cheers!

Tue Aug 29, 04:57:00 AM GMT+8

 
Anonymous KELLY CARSON said...

Ah? hahahahahaha. Dako makapigil sa kakatawa sa yo mareh! Ang ganda ganda mo. Pero syempre mas maganda ako.

I like the way you write (Kris Aquino intonation), Yeah, I like. Truth yan.

Happy 1st Anniversary! Sana tumagal ka pa. Tingin ko tatagal ka. Masaya kasi ang blog mo eh!

Mwah

Tue Aug 29, 04:53:00 PM GMT+8

 
Anonymous Lyka Bergen said...

Hoy! Maruja Bruha! (O di ba? Nag-rhyme?)

Happy Birthday sa blog na ito. Di mo knowing na matagal na akong fan mo! Nakikinig aketch ng Maruja Radio mo! Tse!

Parang di ko type ang fez ni Alfred! Parang bothered ako. I dunno nga kung ano!

Thanks again for your recommendation.

PS. Tell Stephen, I am happy for him. Seriously!

Tue Aug 29, 07:13:00 PM GMT+8

 
Anonymous bananas said...

Thanks for the laugh.


And happy birthday blog.

Wed Aug 30, 12:11:00 PM GMT+8

 
Anonymous eLLe said...

hapi burdei bloggie! :)

haha natawa ako sa comment nung nasa taas, maruja bruha hehe :)

god bless! :)

Wed Aug 30, 05:33:00 PM GMT+8

 
Anonymous Joms said...

Happy Birthday sa blog mo. Hehe. Nagustuhan ko yung istorya mo tungkol kay Stephen. Naabutan ko kaya siya sa AB?

Thu Aug 31, 10:06:00 PM GMT+8

 
Anonymous charles ravndal said...

Happy Anniversary dear Empress!!!

Sat Sep 02, 08:52:00 PM GMT+8

 
Anonymous Marti said...

Congratulations on your upcoming anniversary! Best wishe to you for many more!

Sun Sep 03, 01:53:00 AM GMT+8

 

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