Sunday, August 27, 2006


Random Lives of Empress Maruja Turns One!

This may be a little bit delayed as promised (yeah, I always tend to get late on my promises), but today I'm celebrating.

Today (well, make that 5 days delayed from today) is Random Lives of Empress Maruja's first birthday!!!



Yehey!

Hapi hapi hapi bertday!
Sa 'yo ang lalake!
Aketch ang dadale!

Kidding, but seriously, it would be great if you are going to give my site a gift (wishing!).

Since it's my blog's birthday, and also in celebration of the National Language Month, the proceeding post will be written in Filipino. (Okay, make that a part of the post just in case I Talk Too Much reads it for a re-review, which I volunteered by the way so don't go "warla" if I get a negative smack.)

O, sige na, blow na ako...ng kendel siyempre. Hihi!

***************

BUHAY BUHAY: Eh Kung Tamaan Ako ng Kidlat?

Dahil nga bago ang aking cellphone, mega-announce ko sa mga friends ko ang bagong number. Lahat na yata ginamit ko: YM, Friendster, e-mail. Lahat na may address book or some kind of a contact para naman maibalik ko ang sarili ko sa sibilisasyon matapos ang dalawang linggong walang phone. Punyetang snatcher iyan kasi eh...

Isa sa mga unang nag-text sa akin ay ang aking matalik na kaibigan na si "Stephen." Nag-iimbita siya kasama ng mga friends ko na magkita-kita naman, kasi nga sobrang busy ang drama naming lahat. Ang plano, nood kami ng kanyang DVD collection ng mga pelikulang galing Thailand at Cambodia (O di ba? Saan ka lulugar?) at maglaro ng Cluedo buong magdamag. Pamorningan na wholesome kumbaga.

Ako sa sarili ko gusto ko siyang makita. Aba, ilang taon kaya kaming hindi nagkita niyan? Dalawa? Tatlo? Hindi ko na matandaan. Kaya lang, may pagkaalinlangan ako.

Kasi yung Stephen na nakilala ko ay nagbago ng anyo. Hindi, hindi naman siya naging halimaw.

Noong college kami, super buddy ko siya. Yup, bakla rin siya gaya ko. Pareho kami ng hilig: sine, TV, sining ng kung ano mang chuva. Kaya lang, mayroon kaming pagkakaiba. Kung ako alam na ng aking mga parents na bayot, si Stephen...ang alam ng parents niya na isa siyang "malamya."

Kumbaga, hindi pa siya out.

Hindi tulad ko na kahit papaano ay lumandi, si Stephen ay isang birhen. Never been kissed, never been touched, at never pang humada ang drama. Hanggang gumaraduate na kaming lahat-lahat, Mama Mary pa rin ang lola mo.

Sa trabaho niya sa advertising nakilala ang lalakeng kanyang minahal at nagmahal sa kanya. Kaya naman nang malaman ito ng kanyang pamilya, aba, daig pa ang dialogue sa mga teleserye ng Channel 2 ang reaction nila.

"Hindi ko na kilala ang taong nasa harap ko."

"Sige, sabihin mo sa akin! Ano pang mga lihim ang kailangan mo mabunyag?"

In short, hindi tanggap ng family na bayot siya. Magmula noon, bawal siya tawagan ng mga friends niya. Bad influence daw kami.

Makalipas ang ilang taon, nagplano kami ng surprise party para sa kanya. By that time alam na naming nagkakaroon na ng pagbabago sa kanya. Isa ako sa "advance party" na pupunta sa kanyang prayer meeting habang hinihintay namin ang mga kasamahan naming magdadala ng cake.

Nagkita na kami before dahil inimbita niya kaming manood ng Passion of the Christ with matching Bible reading at analysis, pero noong birthday niya, doon ko na lang napagtanto na may isang malaki at malawak na puwersang umiimpluwensiya sa kanya.

Ang puwersa ni Hesu Kristo.

Tine-train na pala si Stephen na maging worship leader. Yes, heto ang lola niyo, nakisali sa kanilang pagtitipon. Ako pa naman, ayokong magsimba kasi nabubuwisit ako sa mga paring mapanghusga, at heto ako nakiki-power-power, umiiyak, nagsisisi sa kanyang hada noong nakaraang Sabado.

Iniwaksi ni Stephen ang kanyang pagkababae para sa Diyos, at ngayon kapag nakita niyo ang kanyang Friendster account, aba, lalake na nga siya...

Yun ang dahilan kung bakit ako nanlamig sa kanya, kasi hindi ko na siya makausap nang matino. Parang lumalabas na ako pa ang dahilan kung bakit lumala ang kanyang "sakit," at dapat din akong pagalingin para mahalin ng Diyos. Ano ba 'yon? Mahal ko ang Diyos pero naniniwala akong hindi ko kailangang magpakalalake't pumompyang ng gerl para lang mahalin Niya ako, noh! Mapagmahal ang aking Diyos at tanggap kung sino ako: makasalanang nagsisisi paminsan-minsan, nagpapasalamat sa Kanyang walang-sawang pagpapatnubay at pag-aalaga sa akin at sa aking pamilya, binubuhusan ng Kanyang mga biyaya.

Pero siyempre, kahit na magkaiba na nga ang aming mundong ginagalawan (siya sa langit at ako naman papuntang...langit na rin), hindi ko maitatanggi na kaibigan ko siya. Napakalalim na ng aming pinagsamahan para lang maaksaya dahil lang naging mongha siya.

Tamaan man ako ng kidlat.

***************

MOTIF: Ice...Ice...Baby! (One Night in Sn-Tsn Part 2)

We entered a local restaurant in Shenzhen, China, to get our stomachs filled for the night. My dad asked the waitress for a menu and we his children reminded him what our tour guide Helen said: most Chinese don't speak English at all.

Since dad did not enrol me at a Chinese school back in my teen years, we settled for sign language to get our message across. Good thing the menu has English translation to it, so ordering for food isn't that difficult. Dad ordered chicken wings and a bottle of San Miguel Beer (which is pretty expensive at 18 yuan a pop; oh well, in China our local beer is considered "imported"). My siblings ordered banana splits while I, being an eccentric being that I am, chose their in-house specialty, a "papaya boat."

It's basically a cocktail of locally-grown fruit such as lychee and pear served on a papaya half. I really really needed some dose of fiber. This trip has gotten me constipated for two straight days and I really really need to let all my frustrations out.

King Daddy wanted ice on his mug, so he instructed the waitress "ice." Again, we reminded him of the language barrier, so he tried shaking his cupped hand on the mug in hopes that the waitress got the message. Minutes later, the waitress carried a bowlful of ice cubes to our table. Hey, that wasn't bad.

My dad thanked her with a thumbs up sign, but it seemed the watiress was more than happy on what she served. She started to shout, "Ice! Ice!" to her fellow wait staff, proudly bannering her new grasp of the English vocabulary.

We ended our meal with much gusto, and as a waiter cleared the table, Dad left a 5 yuan tip that the waiter picked up and tried to return. Dad mentioned to accept it, and we could see the paper bill slowly disappearing as he crumpled it and placed in his pocket.

Too bad Dad didn't give a tip to the waitress for learning a new word.

***************

COMMERCIAL BREAK: Philippine Idol Theater Eliminations

Tonight, we will get to see the Top 24 of the first season of Philippine Idol. But first, watch this great teaser of the episode. I've watched a couple of times and it still give me the shiver (the good kind).


***************

RANDOM HOT MEN: Alfred Vargas for X-Ray Magazine

More of Alfred Vargas in almost perfect form as captured by the artistic lenses of X-Ray Magazine. Ooooh...







I hope children are not reading this.

***************

BOW DOWN AND WORSHIP MY FOOTNOTES:

1) Empress Maruja has a new site to recommend. Las Tres Estrellas is a collaboration of three luscious and beautiful bloggers all with biting wit and humor as they illustrate the greatness in being gay. I was laughing my ass of while reading the post about what Miss Universe 1994 candidates would say about each other today. Check out the Recommendations section and click on the icon.

2) Starting Monday, Empress Maruja subscribes to The Philippine Star as protest against the "anti-gay" stance of my favorite paper Philippine Daily Inquirer. I don't agree on that "Our writers' opinion do not reflect the sentiments of our publishers" crap. I don't publish any pro-government article in PDI, so why print out a column that spreads hate and bigorty? Anyway, a representative of PDI e-mailed me and he said they would investigate what happened. Too late.

3) Mr. Isagani Cruz, the author of that anti-LGBT column, deserves to go to hell after his remaining days on Earth. I am very sure that one of his "macho" sons is cruising around the brokeback cinemas of Quiapo when he's not looking.

4) Sigh...enough of the hate. If you want to know more about me, don't hesitate to ask. E-mail me at empressmaruja@gmail.com, and I'll answer your questions as soon as possible.

5) While watching television, my sister and I learned that Kama Sutra teaches ways of the bedroom to make your child a boy or a girl. If the woman wants a son, she should eat a lot of fruits and vegetables; if she wants a girl, the mother should eat bread and grains. My sister joked that our mother probably chose to eat both before I was born. Sister gave footnote with some archive story that Mom thought I was a girl when I was inside her, that she bought some pink clothes and planned on naming me Katrina. Oh well, at least Mom got the best of both worlds. Besides, if I become a girl, I would probably be pregnant by 13. Uh-oh...

Happy birthday, my dearie blog!

posted by Empress Maruja | |




Monday, August 21, 2006


Longer, Thicker, Easier to Swallow

I've had enough!

Enough of the short and boring posts!

From this day forward, The Random Lives of Empress Maruja is now LONGER, THICKER, yet EASIER TO SWALLOW.

Geez! That's like every gay man's fantasy! haha!

***************

LIFE LIFE: Texting is a my new exercise

I am very much ashamed to tell you that my phone was slashed from my bag two weeks ago. (NOTE TO SELF: Never carry a leather bag, especially if you're in Quiapo.) How did I lost it? Honestly, I forgot what white lie I told my Dad and sister. They were like, "So what else is new?"

In what seemed like God's punishment, I lived two weeks without even having a cell phone with me. I was completely isolated from my friends and contacts. Boy, it felt like some form of withdrawal syndrome. I was planning to set an alarm for a wake-up call and then I remembered that I used my cell phone as my handy alarm clock.

And what seemed as an insult to injury, my Dad would remind me without fail to text him once I'm back from my work. My response would always be, "Dad, as if I can text you."

Anyway, I got my new phone last Saturday. My TV show colleague sold it to me. It's an old Nokia 8310, that only runs on Smart, complete with a Sun Cellular SIM.

In order to get started on my new phone, I joined my sister in buying a new SIM card and accessories for my not-so-new phone. I replaced the gray casing to a stylish glaze black cover and chose a catchy, easy-to-memorize phone number.

However, here's the catch: the keypad in my new cover did not my major problem in my new phone. The keys are so tough to type. Texting "D2 n me, wer n u?" (Me here, where you?) sheds 100 calories off my fingers.

Another hassle is that the phone does not sound at all when it receives text messages, despite how many times I adjusted and re-adjusted the settings. I would be away for a while and when I checked it out again, lo and behold, a new message. Magic!

Oh well, my sis told me not to worry. With my new job, I would probably buy a new phone in no time. She reminded me to make sure not to lose it again.

(The Empress can now be contacted through +639206423332.)

***************

OPINIONATED LIFE: A Voice Among the Silent

"The badings and the tibos will save our country." -- a commentor at bryanboy.com

My favorite newspaper, the Philippine Daily Inquirer, published an opinion column by a former Philippine Supreme Court justice about his dread towards the world's gaydom.

In his article "Don we now our gay apparel," Mr. Isagani Cruz displayed his fears that the Philippine population be flooded by a bunch of pansies (I'm paraphrasing his use of words here). That today's gays, influenced by the like of "Brokeback Mountain," "Queer Eye for the Straight Guy," and "The Blossoming of Maximo Oliveros" (in contrast to his "macho" sons), are a compromise between the strong and the weak. He further asked his readers whether they should let the country be "converted into a nation of sexless persons without the virility of males and the grace of females but only an insipid mix of these diluted virtues."

His stirring words of hatred and condemnation towards gays and lesbians are limited, or so he claimed. He wrote that his observations do not include those "who have conducted themselves decorously."

Reading his column, I was silent. I personally didn't know what to react. Is he only expressing his right of free speech? Should I just brush off the opinion of an 80-year-old man who reminisced the times when gays were mauled? For once, I didn't have the answers. But if I say something, would he listen?

But the gays gods have an answer, indeed.

Two days after Cruz's column was published, a political analyst from the same newspaper gave a voice for among the silent. A grandson of a former president, Manuel Quezon III came out of the closet and announced his condemnation against Cruz's display of primitive hate through his article "The Grand Inquisitor." According to Quezon, "Cruz demands the elimination of a diverse and rich culture--one that is as much a mirror of society's larger complexities as it is an alternative to some of the worst instincts and features of the broader culture for which he has stepped forward as spokesman--because the minority displeases and disgusts him."

Then came the grand exit from his cobby wardrobe: "I find that disgusting. I find it neither reasonable nor acceptable. I do not even find it understandable. Cruz does not understand us, does not want to, would be unwilling to. Yet he says he hates only some, not all, of us, and expects "some of us" to embrace and thank him?"

And finally: "I will respect anyone's convictions, but only to the extent you will respect mine. Goodwill inspires the same; tolerance results in cooperation. But I will not be told whom to love, whom to be friends with, what culture to represent, what mannerisms and interests to adopt and, much less, discard. I will not modify my behavior or limit my pleasures merely to please Cruz or bigots like him. The respect gays, lesbians and transgendered people experience is a brittle kind, but hard-won."

He sacrificed his credibility as one of the most-sought-after political analyst and writer just to defend all those who have no voices to speak. Those who are afraid that they themselves become scorned and persecuted. Gosh, I'm crying now...

Can I take a hanky break?...

After reading that article, I so wanted to reach out and hug Mr. Quezon. He truly stood up for the little ones.

Now it's time to do my part. I wrote directly to Inquirer that because they let a primitive and hateful message be published, I cancelled my subscription to their newspaper (as much as it hurts me). It's the least that I can do, and so will you.

***************

INTERMISSION NUMBER: The Great Gender Benders

Since we are on the subject of gender bending, here are some great clips that I wanted to share with you.

First is from a Japanese children's show. Again, it's from a children's show. How I wish our local TV be this quirky.

(applause)



Second is a clip from Philippine Idol auditions. Take note of the last person to audition, the one with killer heels and flawless legs who goes by the name Kenneth Paul. Enjoy!

(applause)



***************

RANDOM HOT MEN: Twilight Dancers

You know you missed worshipping at hot men as much as I do. Now we don't have one, not even two, but five men to ogle.

These are the actors who will appear at an upcoming film "Twilight Dancers." My crush back in StarStruck's Batch 1, Tyron Perez (below, right), lead the roster of hot actors. This is taken from an exclusive X-Ray Magazine cover. Now I have every reason to buy this issue. Start salivating!




***************

BOW DOWN AND WORSHIP MY FOOTNOTES:

1) Just in case you haven't read it yet, my new phone number is +639206423332. I'll be personally message you guys through other online means. But in the meantime, since my online time is kindofa running out, I'll be doing so the coming days.

2) The Recommendation is still open. If you want your site to be featured in "Maruja Recommends," just leave a comment in the chatbox or comments section. Anyone who leaves his or her site's URl are eligible for the promo. Deadline will be Wednesday 5 a.m.

posted by Empress Maruja | |




Tuesday, August 15, 2006


Work Life: Empress Maruja, Live from the Work Station

You just can't stop a blogger from blogging, even if it means writing your post at an ungodly hour of 5:44 a.m.

But here I am, typing my way after competely all of my duties for this shift (I always mix it up on whether to call it "a day" or "a night").

***************

The children's show I am working for, well, it got some good sprucing. For one, our producer bought new HD cameras (which means these babies can be compatible with those neat HDTVs). Second, the hosts themselves became more professional in memorizing their scripts and at work as well. I thought that was a miracle in itself. Back then, we had difficulty on even making them behave.

However, as expected, I was down and out when I arrived at the studio. As you know by now, the end of my Friday outsourcing is the beginning of my Saturday shooting. After typing the script I was assigned at, I immediately slumbered by the sofa. The hosts and other staff thought I was lounging. Well, they didn't know I worked the night before (at least not yet).

I have to get used to this.

***************

As for my nightly work, it's pretty fine so far. I only have one complaint: I wish my work station does not have a trash bin on either side of my desk.

(I checked it again and the trash at my desk's right side was gone. But still, I tend to get distracted everytime someone throws trash on the bin...just like what happened now.)

***************

Major apologies for those who tried to access my Maruja Radio, but failed. I opened my site on Firefox and for some stroke of magic the codes in my mp3 player suddenly became Firefox-compatible. I recommend you access Maruja Radio using Firefox for now. I mean, the playlist is a perfect mix of the sounds of Manila from morning till the next morning, ideal for letting minutes pass by as you type endlessly on your work station.

***************

I desperately need to go clubbing somewhere. My blog became parallel to my "home-work-home" routine that has been happening recently. Darn it.

***************

This may be stupid...but belated Happy Birthday to you...

posted by Empress Maruja | |




Monday, August 14, 2006


House Life: Sad Sad News

This is my second re-post for this article. I think Blogger hates people who uses dial-up connection. Just kidding...

***************

Dad came home very distressed a while ago. He was shocked to learn of a very sad news that three of his colleagues in the TV network died this afternoon at a freak accident. A reporter, her cameraman, and her driver, were on their way to Manila after covering the impending eruption of Mayon Volcano. Then all of a sudden, one of the van's tires exploded and the vehicle skidded out of control until it was rammed to an incoming bus. I watched the footage from another channel and it showed that the van was so completely blown to pieces, only its chassis was spared. Read more about the news here.

Dad wanted us to prepare dinner. While the rest of the imperial family were watching TV, we could hear him punching the table.

I personally was very saddened by this turn of events. No matter how I wanted to live my life to the fullest, news like these make me paranoid about how short life can be. I request my loyal readers to pray with me for the repose of their souls.

posted by Empress Maruja | |




Sunday, August 06, 2006


TV Life: I Heart Philippine Idol!

The premiere episode of Philippine Idol definitely met my expectations and I will definitely watch it again! To my friends overseas, you can catch the full episode on youtube. In the meantime, I'll share to you two great auditions. Enjoy!



posted by Empress Maruja | |




Saturday, August 05, 2006


Work Life: Maruja, Ang Blogger Na Walang Pahinga

Starting Monday, I will be working two jobs.

I accepted a job offer as a website content writer for a certain outsourcing company. Catch is, my work sched is Mondays to Fridays from 9 p.m. to 6 a.m. Well, at least they do not force me to quit my TV job.

My only worry is that come Saturday, I would be so exhausted from my Friday shift that I mihgt not be able to do well in my weekly TV shoots. I joked my production manager to wake me up at the office the next time they need me at the shoot.

Again, thank you for your prayers. Wish me luck!

posted by Empress Maruja | |