Monday, January 30, 2006


Make It Or Break It/ Bugz, Lucky Bugz

MAKE IT OR BREAK IT

I just got out from a really intense job interview. And of all the job interviews I've been into, this is my "make or break" moment.

The company is one of the largest events companies in the Emerald Isles. Being a part of it would be a dream for every event coordinator in the brownlandia.

Let's just say the interview went fairly. Of course, the jitters are always there. My English would twist a bit. But overall, I told the interviewer that I am a better option.

And while we wait for the results, let's have fun with my current work as a TV writer.

Yeah, all that grudge against the Executive Producer have waned a bit. Now, I wanted to prove to my employers that I can do better, that I am not a quitter.

***************

BUGZ, LUCKY BUGZ

Last Sunday was just as intense. It was StarStruck's StarFlicks Awards and live elimination.



Bugz Daigo of Cebu won Best Actor in both Viewers and Critics Choice. He even got the Director's Sole Pick Award. I have nothing against Visayans, but all of us in the household had been wanting for StarStruck to eliminate him. I guess he's just lucky.



My female fave Iwa Moto got one of the Best Actress trophies.



Here's the winning short film. "Hostage" is about a helper who got desperate after his paramour (his employer's daughter) was sent away from him, and made his lover's sister hostage.

During elimination, Marky of Mountain Province and Chuck Allie of Davao were on the chopping block. However, by some strange circumstances.

"StarStruck says 'Thank you' to..."

"No-one!"

It was a sense of relief for both of them and all of the fans in the studio were so delighted with the result.

But, and this is a big but.

The eliminated contestants, the Avengers, have returned. They will become the Dreamers' villains in the upcoming Soap Struck, a series of tear-jerking dramas.

This show gets better and better.

(All StarStruck images courtesy of Pinoy Rickey)

posted by Empress Maruja | |




Friday, January 27, 2006


Good Bye (and Good Riddance?)

GOODBYE ARCI

StarStruck says "Thank you" to...


Arci Munoz.

The "computer scandal" haunted her and becuase of her constant denials of being involved about reading a live elimination script hours before the program, Arci was eliminated last Sunday.

This week, the remaining survivors were busy with their second batch of short flicks, three of which have already been shown by now. I'll post on Monday the video of the Best StarFlick, after their cinema premiere and live elimination on Sunday.

***************

GOOD RIDDANCE?

I am on the verge of resigning from Kids TV, and it started with a text message.

Two Saturdays ago, we were shooting an episode with new segments (about science and art) and featuring a local festival in Manila (which was shown last week). Almost everybody in the production team thought that this would be our best episode to date.

Boy, we were wrong.

Last Sunday, my director/ Dad received a forwarded text message allegedly from our Executive Producer. It was in Tagalog, but translated, it said...

"Last Saturday was an ugly episode. Stop featuring those festivals. Change the writer and researcher. We won't be able to sell episodes to ad agencies if you continue to make stupid episodes like that."

I thought it was a joke, but no. Our Executive Producer really meant it, without acknowledging the fact that the festival was brought up during our recent meeting, that we were going to shoot a feature about it. Overlooking our new segments, which we thought would please her. The EP's rash statements really made me sad, but not to the point of being teary-eyed. I'd been tired of crying.

Tuesday, I informed our Production Manager through a phone call that I quit. She called minutes later telling me that the EP advised me to take destructive criticisms. However, my point was that her statement to change the writer was enough for me to realize that she had lost confidence on my creativity. That night, I decided to look for a new job online. I applied on two companies.

To settle the tension, I decided to attend office Wednesday and worked on the upcoming script. The EP claimed that she wanted to talk to me personally, but she didn't arrive at the office and I don't want to wait until nighttime to talk.

That night, I got an e-mail reply from one of the companies I applied for. They wanted me to set an appointment for interview. The company is in the events industry, much like my ex-boss' company.

My Dad was supportive of the idea. I personally don't feel comfortable working with people who don't trust you, especially if she's your boss. I mean, my ex-boss still gives me script projects in his events even if I don't work for him anymore. That, for me, is trust.

I'll be having a job interview on Monday. I'm keeping my fingers crossed.

posted by Empress Maruja | |




Wednesday, January 25, 2006


Go Big Time!

Nora Aunor, Al Pacino, Kristine Hermosa, Heart Evangelista, Dingdong Dantes, Danny DeVito, Hilary Swank, Yoyoy Villame, Iza Calzado, Richard Gutierrez, Dennis Roldan, Jeric Raval, Song Hye-Gyo, Jay-R, Luke Mijares, Sylvester Stallone, APO Hiking Society, and Matet. Yes, Matet.

All of them. Yes, all of them.

They are not in this movie.

"Big Time", the Best Screenplay winner of Philippines' Cinemalaya Film Festival 2005, ventures the mainstream movie industry as it battles head-to-head with sci-fi Zathura, comedy Cheaper By The Dozen 2, and horror flick The Maid, in major cinemas here in Mega Manila.


Big Time is a non-linear story of two small-time criminals, a wannabe actress, the son of the crime lord, and the kidnapping that brings all of them together for what should be the ticket to their dreams.

I am so excited to watch this movie this weekend, just as excited over "The Blossoming Of Maximo Oliveros" (you can check out my encounter with Maxi on December 2005 archive). You see, like The Blossoming, Big Time is an independent film, challenging the boredom that is Philippine mainstream movies with all that recycled love stories, crude special effects, and Hollywood spin-offs (and it's considered tame; back then, there were even song and dance numbers by the beach and never ending dialogue before gunfights).

What do I expect from this movie? Judging from the trailer, I expect a good script and a hearty story. A movie that will cherish in my memory for many years to come.

But what I'm bothered about these independent films is that the themes tend to be the same. Gays, Poverty, Squalor, Gays, Poverty, Squalor. It's in danger of being just as recycled as the mainstream movies.

I have yet to see a modern Filipino movie that screams of beauty. The beauty of the countryside, the majestic culture of our people, the lavish celebrations. Does that mean that our Filipino Beauty is diminishing? Slowly degrading into legends and oral traiditions?

I say, the Philippine movie industry as a whole (mainstream and independents alike) should go big time. For once, show us something good about our country. Show these movies commercially to an international audience. At least, in the eyes of our foreign breathren, the Philippines is different from what they see on CNN and Channel News Asia. Images of children in prison, mountains of trash, political turmoil, and balut, are erased from their minds. For now.

posted by Empress Maruja | |




Tuesday, January 24, 2006


Beam Me Up, Buttercup!/ Hot Hot Reichen


My blog was sent into space again, just in time for NASA's exploration to Pluto. Hey, my blog might even beat the space craft and reach the farthest planet first.

I know, I know. This Blog In Space thing is all for fun. But who knows? I might get some fans from the Supreme Arzadaic Race.

***************

Speaking of race, do you remember Reichen Lehmkuhl of Amazing Race 4? The one-half of the married gay couple?

Well, apparently, Reichen ventured into modelling and my e-mail got a backstage pass to view some of his pictures (special thanks to truebluegay yahoogroup).

Of course, I wouldn't keep these for my own pleasure, would I?

Will somebody, anybody, give me a glass of water? I think I'm gonna faint.

posted by Empress Maruja | |




Monday, January 23, 2006


Zatunnah, Not Zathura

Ask any gay Filipino comics fan of their favorite comic character and the name "ZsaZsa Zaturnnah" will surface a lot of times.

Who is ZsaZsa Zaturnnah, you ask?

"Ang Kagilagilalas Na Pakikipagsapalaran ni ZsaZsa Zaturnnah" (The Spectacular Adventures of ZsaZsa Zaturnnah) is a modern-day comic book about a gay beautician in the countryside who suddenly receives a giant stone from outer space. He swallows it and becomes a voluptuous female heroine out to defend the Earth against giant frogs, zombies, and amazon women from Planet X...x...x...

This comic book is actually significant to me. Two years ago, after I helped a friend in researching for plays our theather org could perform, we went to a local bookstore and she introduced me to a ZsaZsa Zaturnnah comicbook. Since private reading is allowed in the bookstore, I took the preview copy and read it.

Boy, it was a total laugh trip. I couldn't help myself laughing so hard in the bookstore. I tried controlling my laughter but drops of saliva would came out. It was so embarrassing, surrounded by bookworms digesting their T.S. Elliots and Brontes, a lone gay was laughing his heart out over loads of punchlines riddled in the comics.

After finishing the whole comicbook, some of my friends suddenly appeared out of nowhere, birthday cakes in tow.

"Happy Birthday, Maruja!"

Who would have thought that I would celebrate my birthday in a bookstore? I was so glad for them.

They gave me a special gift, and guess what it was?

A copy of ZsaZsa Zaturnnah.

***************

WHEN GAYS GO, "SIGH..."

I and some gay orgmates of mine were walking near the university when we spotted a giant billboard of local heartthrob Dennis Trillo.


We all stared at his angelic face and sighed.

"Oh God! He just melted my heart," I exclaimed.

"He's so handsome," a companion of ours agreed.

And you know when gays talk about guys, the main topic is...

"Is it true that he's 'small'?"

"Well, who cares if it's small," I said. "It would be a privelege for any gay to give him a head."

Everybody agreed.


Sigh. Dennis...

posted by Empress Maruja | |




Sunday, January 22, 2006


StarStruck Pictorial/ My Dad's Favorite Photo

I promised myself that I will post regular updates on StarStruck, my favorite celebrity search to date. (But of course, you'll read more of my colorful life in the coming days.)

Nine Dreamers (that's how the show calls their candidates) were remaining and they were divided into groups of 3, each of which will be handled by a prominent talent manager for a week. One of their activities was a series of photo shoots, which will be distributed to the press. I have to say that Vivo (the guy on the right) looks hot for a 15-year-old (as I promise myself not to venture into a sexual offender preying on cute 15-year-olds).



StarStruck viewers may predict an early elimination for Vivo, but I'm still standing on my beliefs (naks, beliefs) that this guy will compete in the Final 4. He may be accused as talent-less, but hey, there are a lot of talented celebrities in the Philippines that are yet to be given a decent break. He may be struggling, but he is trying his best. And he has a lot of fans.


Marky from Mountain Province is the guy to beat, viewers say. He has talent, charisma, and ethnicity to boot. So far he was awarded as the Best Dancer and had a lot of girls (and some guys) drooling over his music video where he was singing in the rain...shirtless. I'm actually afraid that he would take that precious StarStruck Ultimate Survivor title from my Vivo.

Arci could be eliminated tomorrow. You see, she was involved in a scandal. No, nothing of the perverse kind. Last week, she (along with Jackie and Jana) were accused of peeking into a computer which contained the script file for the live elimination show hours before. Caught in a nasty web of lies, alibis, and security cams, as to which of the three is telling the truth, Arci got the mother of all sanctions. She gets a score of 0 from one judge, and will rely on fan votes to stay in the competition.

Iwa was spared from the controversy, as she was asleep when it happened. So far, she is the front-runner. The press likes her, the photographer likes her, directors voted for her, and many fans adore her. What I am bothered by her is that with all such admiration, she might fall into the trap of leniency, and feel uber-confident that she will win the competition hands down.

Aside from my fearful prediction for Final 4 (Vivo, Marky, Arci, and Iwa), I would like to add two "dark horses" into the prediction fray.

Chuck Allie hails from Davao City. A dean's lister and a taekwondo black belter, Chuck's handsome looks and intelligence makes a lot of girls (again, and some guys) fall into their knees.

Jackie Rice is from Olongapo City. Half-American, she has a good singing voice (but needs a lot of refinement). Although also involved in the "computer scandal," I don't think her fans will turn away from her.

The Eliminations will be shown live tomorrow, and I hope that my script analysis meeting would not take too long.

(all StarStruck images courtesy of Pinoy Rickey.

***************

When my Dad returned from the United States, he claimed that he had a great time at the Staples Center. Here's why...

Before you say "Wow!", he actually had it photoshopped. My sister and I were laughing at it.

posted by Empress Maruja | |




Friday, January 20, 2006


The Sudden Wedding/ The Ex-Girlfriend/ What A Mess!

My Kuya (older brother) suddenly got himself hitched. Everyone in the family were a bit of a shock when he called last Monday from the States and declared that he married in an old-fashioned American way (in a chapel in Reno).

(Yes, that's my older brother's wedding photo.)

Kuya tied the knot to an optometrist. He met her several weeks ago and, yes, decided to marry.

With that, Kuya officially became an American citizen. Mom will surely prod me to follow suit.

***************

Just this morning, Dad received a call from Kuya's ex-girlfriend (a TV reporter). "Ate C" browsed in Friendster and saw Kuya's profile filled with photos of his wedding, which got her kinda devastated.

She asked Dad a lot of questions over the phone. Who is the girl? Did Dad met her when he was in the States? How did they meet? Did he marry for good of merely for the sake of getting an American citizenship? Dad could only say that he (and us) were as shocked as she was. That Dad had never seen her, nor was aware of her when he was in the US. That the only info he could hold of was that Kuya's mother-in-law used to work at Broadcast City (where most TV shows were being shot back in the day) as an in-studio optometrist.

Apparently, Ate C claimed that they never had a formal break-up. She was crying during the whole phonecall, Dad told us.

Personally, I congratulate Kuya for getting married (finally), but I hope he settles some issues first.

***************

WHAT A MESS!

I got tagged by MANDZ. Here goes...

I totally have a messy desk. Just take a look.





The desk is as old as the computer itself. The electric fan is to cool the CPU.

I wonder how clean or messy the desks of Charles, Marti, and Ribbiticus are?

posted by Empress Maruja | |




Monday, January 16, 2006


The Auditions, The One-Liner, And A Dance-Off

I was supposed to visit my relatives in Pampanga Province yesterday. I guess they miss me, and wonder how fat or gay I have become. But, at my Dad's approval, I went to my alma mater UST and attended the auditions for our theater org's 25 anniversary presentation. As you know by now, my script ("Si Jewel At Ang Kanyang Dalawang...") is one of the 5 plays to be presented this February. Three plays are from current members and two from us alumni. These are directed by 4 alumni (two of them former artistic directors) and the current AD. My director is Jon, our artistic director back in my freshman year.


(The image above is from one of the three plays I acted in Artistang Artlets. Can you see me there?)

I told Jon beforehand that I'd given him freedom to present the play according to his interpretation. Besides, I hate those messy writer vs. director battles. Hey, my Dad is a director in our kiddie show, and guess who always wins?

The casting needed for my script was a little demanding. For one, there are four guys in the play (three of them should have equal height and built). And although I envisioned the gay roles as the flamboyant type while typing the script, Direk Jon opted for a "softer" approach, which is cool.

The auditions became a mini-reunion of sorts. Some of my batchmates, seniors, and juniors attended, and I just couldn't help but to greet each other with a "beso" and a wide grin.

After the auditions, at nighttime, some of us decided to dine at the newly-built "UST Mall," which is actually a multi-deck parking lot surrounded with fast food outlets, including KFC. We went to Dimsum and Dumplings instead and chowed down on dumplings with rice.

The highlight of the dinner was when one of the org's current members gave out "one-liner" predictions which was fun, especially to those whose one-liners apprently are quite accurate.

What she told me? "It's all but temporary."

I knew what she meant by that.

I can't tell you. Remember the non-disclosure agreement?

***************

The night was still young and, since we hadn't seen each other for quite some time, we went to a local bar called "bigskymind". I honestly wanted to leave way early and not join them at the bar, since I was short of money. But then again, a night of bonding would have been cool (beside, I borrowed "some" money).

We sat on the second floor, an art gallery filled with different lighting fixtures were installed. To make a long story short, we were quite drunk and then the bar's stereo blared with "I'm Too Sexy" by Right Said Fred. My orgmates began to prod me.

"Sayaw, Maruja! Sayaw!"

Oh no. They were commanding me to dance again for the nth time. Welcome to my crazy college life.

But of course, I can't refuse. Everybody's having fun. I don't wanna spoil it.

"I'm shy," I replied as I began swinging my hips.

I skipped, I gyrated, I swayed and bended in the art gallery. Everybody was happy.

The next thing I knew, an unexpected guest climbed the stairs and saw my little mischief. It was Julia Clarete, a popular TV host and actress. She was wearing a lovely bohemian dress and dared me for a dance-off.

You wouldn't refuse this one, would you?

Let's just say we were upstaging each other. And when somebody shouted "Show some flesh!", I took my shirt and flashed my fat hairy chest for everybody to ogle (and laugh at).

Julia tried to exorcise me upon seeing that. It was all good.

And then we did a walk-off. Of course, I worked for a modelling agency. This should be easy. I began putting my chin up, pouted my pretty lips, and walked (I suppose) like an Elite Model.
I'm a model, you know what I mean. And I do my little turn on the catwalk. Yeah, on the catwalk. On the catwalk, yeah. I shake my little tush on the catwalk.

Other gay orgmates joined in the ramp frenzy. Everybody was laughing their hearts out with our modelling antics, and we even got to interact with a celebrity without joining a fan club or subscribe to an SMS service.

I told you my life is exciting, or somewhat crazy.

posted by Empress Maruja | |





Blog Renter Of The Week: The Return Of Haunted House Dressing

Please pay my returning blog renter a visit. Jeremy Shipp's Haunted House Dressing is "a place where toasters run free and hippos climb trees." His blog has a lot going on, webcomics, deviantart, novels, never a bore. Click the screenshot at the sidebar...now na! Thankies.

posted by Empress Maruja | |




Saturday, January 14, 2006


The Weird Habits Tag And Other Random Lives

I was tagged by ribbiticus and it deals with my so-called weird habits.

The rules/procedures are as follows:The first player of this game starts with the topic "five weird habits of yourself," and people who get tagged need to write an entry about their five weird habits as well as state this rule clearly. In the end, you need to choose the next five people to be tagged and link to their web journals. Don't forget to leave a comment in their blog or journal that says "You are tagged" (assuming they take comments) and tell them to read yours.

Well, my main habits (but it's up to you if you call them "weird") are as follows:

1) I have an addiction to make the Sign Of The Cross when travelling. I do it before riding a cab, when the cab started to move, while passing a church, while the bus is speeding by the overpass (and when I said speeding, I do mean 100 kph-buses), before taking a tricycle, and a few blocks near my home. Traveling here in the Emerald Isles is crazy. You can never tell if the transport you're riding has an asshole of a driver/ drunkard/ robber.

2) My friends often accuse me of murmuring words that I have just said. I still demand for proof.

3) I jump at the first scoop of water being splashed on my head during baths. I guess that is how my body reacts to cold water.

4) I tend to flick my fingers when I walk outdoors. Don't ask me why, it's still a mystery that needs to be solved.

5) Everytime I encounter a guy during casual sex, I tend to put my nose on his shoulders to smell his pheromones (more popularly known as body odor). What's so gross about that? Animals determine their mates through odor, why can't us humans?

With that, I relinquish this tag to five bloggers. And after a bout of serious thoughts, I shall pass them to:
1) MIKE
2) ASIATIC NEIL
3) ROCKY
4) TALAMASCA and
5) DEMENTIA

Happy Tagging, mga friends!

***************

THE PERKS BEHIND TV

Working for a TV show has its perks. No, we don't get commissions like call center agents. No, we don't eat at expensive restaurants like advertising executives. No, we don't go to Boracay for free like models.

We get freebies.

Since our show features a lot of interesting businesses, oftentimes we get free items as part of their media exposure. For one, my tickets to Enchanted Kingdom are on the house (and I'm planning to get more for the coming summer and Valentine's Day, just in case I'll have a date by that time). We get free t-shirts from every town fiesta we cover. And, just a while ago, my director/ Dad got 3 sets of "paper clay art" or crushed paper mache bits being put on a wooden panel with an outline of a cartoon character.

I got an outline for Spongebob Squarepants with Patrick Starfish. Dad got Baby Pooh and Tigger, while my "tween" little brother will get a collage of Looney Tunes characters.

Next week, we will feature forecasts for Chinese New Year and the charms and crystals needed to counter bad luck. Of course, we would not pass the opportunity to be showered with good luck for free. Last Chinese New Year, I got a Quan Yin wishing pendant (which somewhat works) and free tikoy.

Getting freebies is one of the reasons why I enjoy this job. Having things for free is a privelege of celebrities, and being a part of the celebrity world (somewhat) we partake on that privelege.

Hey. Don't accuse us for being cheap. You should have seen the entertainment reporters. While we just gladly ACCEPT the freebies, entertainment writers DEMAND for freebies. Besides, there is nothing wrong with accepting goods with an open heart. These are times of crises, if you know what I mean.

***************

HOW TINIKLING (AND PANCIT) WILL RULE THE WORLD

I've just found out that a traditional dance in the Emerald Isles called TINIKLING is being taught in American and Canadian elementary schools, and its popular among the kids.




How this innovation in their curriculum is still unknown to me, but as far I know it started as an instructional video for teachers. According to the manual on your right, teaching Tinikling to kids has many benefits including cooperation, coordination, communication, rhythm, motor skills teamwork, eye-foot dexterity, "and it's fun!"

And as if dancing the tinikling using bamboo sticks or PVC pipes are not enjoyable enough, some schools utilize what they call "tinikling jumping cords" which consists of velcro bands and allows the dancers (and even the children whose ankles are attached with these jumping cords) to "use a variety of dance steps with many geographic designs." Kinda reminds me of the game "Chinese garter" that I used to play as a child.

I've posted some months back about how Pancit will rule the world. That there would come a time that people from the West appreciate the Filipino cuisine and thus erasing the stigma of it being too gross or too greasy. But now I'm beginning to realize that we as Filipinos have a lot more to share worldwide. More than the food, the traditional dances, the fantaseryes, even our SMS language and gay lingo (cherva!). As our world begins to "shrink" because of modern technology, we have become closer to the rest of the world. We are being introduced with new cultures and perspective, while we share our pride and traditions to other countries. And someday, we Filipinos will rule the world.

Just don't pass the balut.

posted by Empress Maruja | |





What Lies Ahead?

To tell you with much honesty, I'm afraid of uncertainty.

Taking a first step into a certain decision sends chills in my spine. Where would this road lead to? Am I going to end up with a smile on my face or a stab at the back?

To aid with my decisions, I either flip a coin or use my sister's Magic 8-Ball.

Luckily, while browsing through my blogroll, I found dementia's post that detailed the Chinese horoscope for 2006, the Year of the Fire Dog.

Here's what my 2006 would be like:

MONKEY

Your Career Outlook

This may be a frustrating year for you in terms of your career. Try to focus on fulfilling your roles and responsibilities well. Be down-to-earth and take one step at a time. Do not be impatient with your progress or be discontented with your achievements.

This may be a good time for you to upgrade yourself by picking up new skills and knowledge so that you have more career options. Even if you are not thinking of switching jobs, equipping yourself with relevant skills will allow you to perform in your current position more effectively.

Favourable months to make major career moves include April, May, September, and December.

Your Wealth Outlook

Try not to make any decisions that may jeopardize your present source of stable income. For example, do not quit your current job before you find a new one. Stay off speculative activities such as gambling as your chance of getting a windfall is low.

Manage your finances well and do not make any major investments especially in the monhs of February, March, August and November.

Your Health Outlook

Your health may be weak in 2006 and you are more susceptible to illnesses. Make sure you see a doctor when you are ill to avoid your condition from taking a turn for the worse.

Try to maintain a positive outlook. Stress and depression will only affect you adversely emotionally and physically. Do not tire yourself out and make sure you have ample sleep.

Your Romance Outlook

You may be feeling vexed and lousy about yourself because of your run of bad luck this year. You have to try your best to lift up your spirit. Do not take your anger out on partner. This will only alienate you from him or her.

This is a difficult time and you need an understanding and mature partner to help you through. Your relationship may be in jeopardy if it is not built on a foundation of love and trust.

***************

This year is not a good year for Monkeys. Sad. Well, at least I have something to blame when I get frustrated on my job and lovelife.

posted by Empress Maruja | |




Tuesday, January 10, 2006


Past/ Present: The Exercise, The Result


During our playwriting workshop, our facilitator--scriptwriter Rody Vera--made us create an essay about one of our strong beliefs, wherein we created an argument about it within five minutes. Here's mine (roughly translated from Tagalog):

"I believe that the reason why humans are the supreme beings is because we are carnivorous.

For me, vegetarians are one of the most hypocritical people in the face of the earth. Aside from promoting vegetable-eating as a life-saver, they like persecuting people who are against their beliefs such as splashing paint to people who wear fur.

They are hypocrites because vegetarians themselves use items that come from life. Vegetables are, technically, alive before harvesting. Eggs are unborn chicks. Shoes are from animal leather.

That's why we have fangs. We are carnivorous. If we become vegetarians, someday humans would be like cows. And who knows? A new specie would arise to become more supreme than us and skin us alive to become their jackets."

After each of us read our respective essays aloud, Mr. Vera told us to write an essay fighting for our opposite beliefs. That dropped my jaw. After I expressed my angst against vegetarians, I had to write as a vegetarian. Well, here's the best that I could produce (again, roughly translated from Tagalog):

"Carnivores are a bunch of murderers. They kill innocent animals for their own satisfaction. This also goes to people who wear fur. They are merciless. If they only knew that their lovely fur coats they are wearing came from a helpless animal that is skinned alive using a machine.

Vegetarianism is a way to save these poor creatures who have become victims of consumerism. Aside from which, eating vegetables is beneficial to our body, more nutricious than meat.

We need to save our earth against these animal murderers. Someday, these animals running about in the forests would disappear. What do these murderers want? Exterminate all these beautiful creatures until they would even kill each other?

Save our nature. Eat vegetables."

Yeah yeah, laugh all you want...

Tonight I am about to put in the finishing touches of my play entitled "Si Jewel At Ang Kanyang Dalawang..." as an entry for our theater org's 25th Anniversary Production. The script, a mixture of Tagalog and English, is about a gay guy who fell in love for the first time and is being confronted by two different entities. With apologies to my US readers since I would post it as is, here's a sneak peek:

UNA: (kay SEGUNDA) Siyanga naman. Ano naman ang masama kung umibig ka sa unang pagkakataon?

SEGUNDA: I'm not talking about love being delusional. I'm not that pessimistic. What I'm talking about is this person's illusions clouding that stupid head.

JEWEL: Hindi ako tanga.

UNA: Huwag mo naman siyang saktan nang ganyan.

JEWEL: Ayokong umiyak. Masisira ang make-up ko.

MABUTI: Oo nga naman. Pilitin mo'ng maging matatag. Huwag kang makikinig sa kanya. Sigurado kapag nakita ka niya sa kasuotang 'yan, tiyak liliwanag ang mundo ni Edward.

SEGUNDA: What are you talking about? Look at this fool. Look like this "ilucionada" is going to wait by the corner like a cheap, cracked-up hooker.

JEWEL: Hindi ako nagsuot ng ganito para magmukhang kaladkarin. Ganito ang gusto ni Edward sa babae. Noong kinukuwento nga niya parang sa akin pinapahiwatig...

(Mapapaupo sa harap ng tanghalan si Jewel. Papasok mula sa kaliwa si Edward na may dalang dalawang stick ng fishballs na isinawsaw sa suka.)

EDWARD: Heto na ang fishballs!

(Iaabot ang isang stick ng fishballs kay Jewel at tatabi sa kanya. Sa kanilang pag-uusap, titingin si Jewel kay Edward habang si Edward ay titingin sa manonood, palayo't paiwas kay Jewel.)

JEWEL: (aabutin ang fishballs) Salamat. (maaamoy ang suka sa fishballs) O, bakit may suka?

EDWARD: Masarap 'yan. Subukan mo.

JEWEL: (titingin sa manonood) Sinabi niya kasi minsan na kaag may gusto siyang babae, dinadaanan muna niya sa pagsubok bago ligawan. Siguro gusto niyang makasigurong willing ang babae na pagsilbihan siya. 'Yun ang nasa isi ko noong binigyan niya ako ng fishballs na may suka. Kaya naman, kahit ayaw ko... (kakainin ang fishballs) Sarap pala.

EDWARD: Sabi ko sa 'yo eh.

Although I've heard several gay members in the org are interested to act for my play, I still have this certain apprehension. Performing a play with a gay lead in a Catholic University spells bad news for the administrators, which is why I am fine-tuning some lines in such a way that it doesn't violate their sensibilities once they review the script.

If all else fails, Jewel will become an ugly girl. And it won't be fun, would it?

posted by Empress Maruja | |




Monday, January 09, 2006


Ay! Showbizzz!: I Hate You/ I Like You


I am not ashamed to say that I hate Pinoy Big Brother, and no-one would make me like it.

My director/ Dad and I went northward to Caloocan City to interview the city mayor. Once we got into the North City Hall, the production team saw a handful of people gathered at the quadrangle, and I heard a familiar yet irritating music coming from a marching band.

It was the theme song of Pinoy Big Brother.

My readers in the US are familiar how fugly the show is, and boy, it's worse here. It's an aspiring celebrity search. All the housemates became instant TV stars of the network where it was broadcast. And although PBB did not have an impressive ratings trend, ABS-CBN pretended that it was an instant hit by overly promoting the show with spin-off game shows and updates from morning until evening, not sparing the primetime news.

(By the way, it was rumored that the theme song was plagiarized from a 1980's UK Rock Band The Care's "The Chandelier". I have heard the two song simultaneously being played and have concluded that it is a rip-off.)

I could go on and on of my hatred for PBB, but karma got into me just this morning.

As the team got off the van and went into the City Hall, I realized the reason why the marching band was playing the plagiarized song.

Some of the PBB Housemates were there. They had just finished dancing to the tune of the theme song (as they always do in EVERY appearance) and were signing autographs to the government employees.

A lone PBB hater in a sea of PBB fanatics. God has a sense of humor.



I am also not ashamed to say that I like StarStruck Season 3, and nothing and no-one would make me hate it.

StarStruck is like our version of American Idol, but the difference is that instead of singers, the program is a search for potential teen stars who could sing, dance, and act (common requirements in become a Philippine celebrity). Every week, one candidate is eliminated according to the judges' scores and the audience votes until one male and one female remain as the Ultimate StarStruck Survivor.

This is the reason why I often go home earlier than usual. Since its first season, StarStruck has been my TV addiction. And as an entertainment editor once said, it changed the landscape of Philippine Showbiz, where the audience have the power to choose who deserves to become a bigger celebrity.

Among the successful products of StarStruck are Mark Herras and Jennylyn Mercado, the first season winners. They appear in numerous blockbuster movies and were paired as a lead couple in "Say That You Love Me". Mark has a dance compilation album, while Jennylyn's debut album was a success. Until now, the two are the standard of teen star superstardom.

But their reign is being challenged by the candidates of the third batch, which in my opinion is the best roster of aspiring teen stars to date. They were chosen from all over the country and each region was fairly represented.

So far, four candidates were eliminated, including my female fave Rea. And the competition is getting more intensified because the candidates will undergo a series of singing exercises.

My fearful forecast as to who will compete in the Final 4 are as follows:

IWA MOTO is half-Filipina, half-Japanese. Her "middle-class" personality is appealing to the broader masses. And Filipino fans have a liking for novelty.

ARCI MUNOZ is classified in the show as a talented underdog. I'm glad that she doesn't brag too much that she studies at the University of the Philippines (which might make the audience turn off).

MARKY CIELO is a proud member of the Igorot Tribe. Some viewers say his indigenous facial features are not of celebrity value, but his appeal is slowly growing. A talented actor and dancer, Marky might be given a dance-off with Mark Herras.

VIVO OUANO is my favorite among the guys. He is the complete opposite of Marky. This tall 15-year-old has the looks of a heartthrob. The problem though is that he struggles in his acting and dances with two left feet. However, his fanbase is strong and will continue to vote for him until he reaches the Final 4.

I am 25 years old and still going gaga over a bunch of teens. God indeed has a sense of humor.

(StarStruck images courtesy of Pinoy Rickey.)

posted by Empress Maruja | |